Klopzi's Mediocre Poker One man's journey from poker obscurity to poker mediocrity. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 62 0 58 5918

Articles from Klopzi's Mediocre Poker

The Landlord 2007-11-26 11:30:00 I'm a big Will Ferrell fan and I ran across a video featuring Ferrell and his landlord (landlady?) Pearl. You may or may not find this funny. I'd guess it depends on your views surrounding child exploitation, landlords, Will Ferrell, and getting your drink on... And so, I present to you The Landlord... The Landlord on FunnyOrDie.com Hey - I thought that was funny! Check out these outtakes if you feel like laughing a little more: The Landlord Out Takes on FunnyOrDie.com Hope everyone had a great long weekend! Now get back to work! Visit my site for the rest of this story and other content. ...

Braving the Storm 2007-11-23 05:45:00 Last night was a real exercise in frustration as I threw myself an impromptu Black Thursday evening of shopping. I'd somehow managed to work myself up into a buying frenzy yesterday (read it firsthand in this post over at The Greedy Gamer). It was an itch that needed scratching... My goals for the evening were pretty simple: Drive to my local Blockbuster despite the snow storm pounding Ottawa. Buy a brand-spanking new copy of Half-Life 2: The Orange Box using Blockbuster store credit. Stop at Tim Horton's on the way home to buy a donut. Get home and eat my delicious donut while trying out Portal (game-play video at the end of this post, if you're interested). Easy right? Easy. Right?! At 9:00 PM, I jump into my little Hyundai Accent (car shopping on a budget leaves very few options) and skid my way out of the driveway. As I start to make my way to Blockbuster, my car starts to twist and turn and I find myself skidding like a bastard all over the road. I check my speed - 30 km ...

Happy Thanksgiving! 2007-11-22 07:30:00 So, Thanksgiving Day, eh? You Americans really know how to do things: you celebrate Thanksgiving on a Thursday and take the day off on Friday to go shopping. Well, while you were all snug in your beds this morning and dreaming of turkey and stuffing, I was wide awake and feeding formula to a screaming baby! And tomorrow morning, while you're all snug in your beds dreaming of some Black Friday shopping, I'll be up early feeding formula to a screaming baby! You'll have to excuse my mood today: I'm exhausted. Also, today was the second straight day of taking a crowded bus to work as it snowed like a mother fucker outside. And both days, the bus driver told everyone to keep moving to the back of the bus and I always seemed to end up crammed in between three guys, forcing me to spend the next 40 minutes getting horribly "balled". It was like a club sandwich thing and I was the meat. When I saw the old sandwich routine getting set up again this morning, I frantically barrelled ...

Testing... 2007-11-20 14:47:00 I'm going to steal another page out of Fuel55's and Waffles' book yet again... What Classic Movie Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com What Famous Leader Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com Growing up, my family had an Easy Rider wall-sized poster in the basement. It was there when we moved in...it was still there when we moved out 17 years later... Visit my site for the rest of this story and other content. ...

A Better Life 2007-11-19 06:00:00 As my wife and I sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee while speaking to my dad and step-mother on Saturday, my mind started wandering to poker. You see, we were discussing some of the work that has to be done around the house in the next couple years. My dad explained that it would be a lot of work but easily do-able, my wife claimed that I wouldn't do the labour myself (and she's right), and I just tried to put a dollar figure to the fixes, touch-ups, and major landscaping that needs to be finished. It's at times like these that I start to think about poker. How can I afford to pay $5000 for new roof, $5000 for landscaping in the backyard, and $2000 to have all our window frames sanded and repainted? Poker, of course. Later that night, as I sat in the washroom looking for something to read, I picked up my well-worn copy of Professional No-Limit Hold'em. Perhaps I'd been away from the tables long enough: maybe my time for rebirth at the tables was at hand? I read a couple.. ...

Another Waffles Time Waster... 2007-11-16 13:00:00 Thanks to Waffles, I have something to write about yet again without having to resort to playing poker or gambling in my "free time". Get a Cash Advance And hey, while I'm at it, why not pimp my other blog? Here are the readability "stats" for The Greedy Gamer: Get a Cash Advance Now I wonder: do these results mean that I write well? Or is it just a ploy for Cash Advance Loans to get free advertising? Whatever...have a great weekend! Visit my site for the rest of this story and other content. ...

I've been Tagged! 2007-11-15 13:26:00 Iamhoff tagged me and I guess I should follow the rules. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog... And so, without further ado... Seven random things about me: When I sit down to eat dinner, I'll always eat all the vegetables first. I'll then eat all the meat next and I'll finish up by eating all the potatoes, rice, or any other "filler" type substance. I never ever deviate from this course of action unless I'm at a restaurant.I get very upset if food is juicy, messy, or touches my chin.I'm afraid of the dark, especially basements...I hate going to bed and would rather keep playing until I collapse on the spot from exhaustion.I only brushed my teeth once a day for the first 28 years of my life. It wasn't until I started living with my wif ...

Most impressive... 2007-11-14 17:30:00 Watching Daniel Negreanu or Gus Hansen run over a final table is pretty damn impressive. And there was that one time that I ran $550 up to $950 in the space of 30 minutes at the blackjack tables at AceClub Casino. But nothing beats what you're about to witness after the jump... Sure, video games are for kids. I make a hell of a lot more money playing poker than I do video games and I'm sure that this applies to 99.9% of all gamers out there. But there's got be some way to make money when you've got the video game chops on display in the video below. If you've ever played Guitar Hero (1, 2 , or 3), you'll appreciate the sheer difficulty of what you are about to watch. Damn...that was impressive! Almost as impressive as the Guitar Hero session in this next video: Visit my site for the rest of this story and other content. ...

Great Gambling Gangsters! 2007-11-14 13:50:00 Even with the all the changes made to the landscape of casinos, gambling and poker over the last 30 years, it's nice to see that things haven't changed as much as we thought. It seems that an illegal sports gambling ring has been discovered operating out of the Borgata poker room in Atlantic City. The cool part (cool since I live far away in Canada and never plan on visiting the Borgata or New Jersey) is that four of the persons involved in the gambling ring have mafia ties. It was only a matter of time before organized crime started to show up in the casino and gambling market again. I'd say that this news surprises me but I always thought that the mafia ran Vegas and Atlantic City anyway. Then again, I've seen the movie Casino quite a few times so I probably have a skewed view of reality. Thanks to Wicked Chops Poker and The Associated Press for the breaking news. Visit my site for the rest of this story and other content. ...

The Poker State of Mind 2007-11-13 06:15:00 It was a long weekend for some of us up here in Canada. I had a nice relaxing three days off, even with two kids at home and some Christmas lights that needed putting up! However, the weekend didn't come without its frustrations... When I was playing poker a lot and making half-decent money, I didn't really mind blowing money from time to time. To play poker well, you need to disassociate your bankroll and your chips from real-world money. After dropping almost $500 recently while running cold at the tables, not once did I stop to think of all the things that I could have bought with that money. Having not played very much poker since the birth of my second son, I'm sorry to report that the value of money is once again known to me. Take, for example, a problem I encountered over the weekend involving my Xbox 360 and Saints Row, a game that I've been playing since mid-October. Read about the problem here then come back and I'll finish up my story. When I was playing poke ...

Nerds! 2007-11-09 06:15:00 Which is worse? A video game nerd or a poker nerd? I'm guessing the video game nerd since you can't make any money playing video games unless you're Korean or an awkward teenage boy with acne. I can't help but wonder what my wife is thinking as she watches me struggle to play a game that was originally designed for the strangely deft fingers and lightning reflexes of a twelve year old boy (or girl). When I first met my wife, I knew nothing about poker. My hobby of choice at the time was video games and I'll admit that I failed to disclose to my wife-to-be how much I enjoyed video games. I still remember the shock on her face when she asked me if I actually felt the need to play video games every day: I said "Yes!" and she said "Fuck...". But I look at poker, video games, and other nerdy past times as being positives for a marriage. While some men spend tons of money on their hobbies, poker players make money with their hobby. While some men prowl the bars looking to g ...

Where is the love? 2007-11-08 17:30:00 We still have one very mild-mannered, quiet son and one screaming, arms and legs akimbo son. And while the family's doing well right now, we're definitely getting more run-down as each day passes. And while I still haven't played poker, my bankroll was boosted yesterday through no effort on my part. The fine folks at Ultimate Bet gave me $10 worth of free cash to blow at their tables. Sweet! That's almost two SNGs that I can play! Now if only I could pull together an hour or so of free time. Actually, I've had a little free time lately: little being the key word. But I've been so tired that I've muzzled any thoughts of playing poker. My bad luck already puts me at a disadvantage at the table - playing half-asleep would just make matters worse. Until I get more sleep and more rested, all I can do is sit back, play some video games, and wait for the poker bug to bite me again. I love that feeling of "loving" poker almost as much as I enjoy winning at poker. The feeling ...

A Night in the Life 2007-11-06 12:52:00 So - what did I do last night? Let's see... Well, there was this... A bit of this... Oh, and plenty more of this... If you'd really like to experience a night in the life of Klopzi, be sure to listen to the first and third videos on full volume for the next six or seven hours. Remember - no breaks! That would be cheating... Visit my site for the rest of this story and other content. ...

SAGE: Q&A 2007-11-05 06:00:00 Last Thursday, Tripjax posted a link to a post I made a little while back entitled SAGE: The Sit and Go Endgame System. It's good to know a few people have finally read a post that I feel can be very advantageous to any tournament or sit-and-go player. Joxum had a couple questions regarding the SAGE system: How do you identify a SAGE player?How do you take his money? Identifying a SAGE player can be a little difficult. Most players tend to fall into one of two categories when the blinds get high in a heads-up situation: Ultra-LAG or Loose-Passive. Ultra-LAG players will raise almost every hand and try to take control of the game. They want to control the pace and dictate how and when all the chips are going into the middle of the table. The Loose-Passive players will attempt to see many flops cheaply and hope to hit top-pair (or a middle pair with an Ace or King kicker). These players don't like to play to large pre-flop raises and would rather see the flop before making an ... Amp

Corruption 2007-11-02 18:30:00 There's been a lot of talk about how poker and gambling corrupt society. Well, the same is also being said for video games. It seems that no matter how you choose to spend my free time, church, state, and that old lady who sits beside you on the bus can only shake their heads and tell you that you're wrong! But does violence in video games affect me? No, not really. However, it does give me something to write about! Take, for example, this text excerpted from my other site: The Greedy Gamer. Here, I describe my first foray into the Hitman activity Saints Row for the Xbox 360. Being a hitman in Saints Row involves finding a client, getting a list of targets, and then hitting the streets to find your unfortunate victims. I've got two days to find the time to beat up, stab, shoot and blow up twenty-one poor souls currently wandering the virtual streets of Stilwater. Three of my targets have already met a sorry demise: Poor Jackie was only responding to a 911 call in the Sain ...