The Pole Affair How I learned to pole dance and embrace my inner vamp Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 61 0 107 6075

Articles from The Pole Affair

Unworldly 2007-08-16 06:27:00 Can there be anything more mundane than ex-boyfriends? Princess AhAh seems to think not, and has duly decreed ‘The Ones That Got Away’ to be the topic of today’s Carnival of the Mundane. To be honest, I tend towards the opinion that the ones that got away did so for very good reasons; if they were worth hanging onto, they would still be around. Where men are concerned, I have never looked back, ...

EDW: Tickled Pink 2007-08-15 15:15:00 Now you may be thinking I’m stretching this whole Elegantly Dressed Wednesday thing a bit too far by presenting you with another famous peeler, but this week’s nominee, the delectable Sally Rand, rarely, if ever appeared nude. Sally’s showbiz career began early when she ran away with the carnival as a teenager. From there, she performed with the circus, and a Chicago ballet company, before a ...

Express Bollocks 2007-08-15 07:44:00 Sometimes, the sheer stupidity and dishonesty of the British press cause me to wonder how they can get away with publishing such tripe. Unfortunately, as most newspaper sites allow readers to comment on the stories they publish, the reason becomes apparent; there are an awful lot of fuckwits out there. I think what really depresses me about this article is not the ridiculous skewing of the facts ...

High Society 2007-08-15 05:12:00 Speed dating; not something I’d ever really considered doing, and probably not the best way to spend a rainy Tuesday evening when in the grip of PMS, but with my policy of accepting all reasonable invitations, I accompanied The Postmistress to a local event held, in all places, at the venue where I teach my pole dance classes. Now, I have to say, I know I was all ‘boo hoo hoo’ when the Lord of ...

Belief 2007-08-14 11:18:00 My grandmother, Ella, my father’s mother, died before I was born. Indeed, as the only child of two only children whose parents died before my birth, the ‘joys’ of extended family are entirely unknown to me. Through my childhood, I managed to acquire odd things that had belonged to Ella, namely an engraved clothes brush, and a necklace of brightly-coloured medallions of Venetian Millefiori glass. ...

Apathy 2007-08-14 06:46:00 I walk into the spare bedroom and stare at the pole. It stares back at me reproachfully. I turn, walk out of the room, closing the door firmly behind me. 'Tomorrow.' I say to myself, opening a bag of M&S Belgian Milk Chocolate Coated Butter Toffee Popcorn; five hundred calories in one hundred grammes. Must try harder. ...

Party On, Dude 2007-08-13 07:04:00 We’re all rather prone to the disease of assuming everyone thinks the same way we do, and we are often annoyed to discover they don’t. Logically, I know and accept that many people on this planet hold different views and values, and being a polite puss, I adhere to the rules of social grace that smooth the path of human relations, even if anyone who doesn't agree with me is a fucktard beneath my ...

Thought Manifests Deed 2007-08-10 08:32:00 Funny old world; I was just sitting here lamenting the fact I haven’t been nominated for an award this week, and bingo, good old Dicky Madeley goes and does the business. Yes, yours truly has just been awarded a Thoughtful Blogger Award. So not only am I a Thinking Blogger, but also a Thoughtful one. Thanks, Richard, much appreciated, even if some are saying you’re not who you purport to be ( ...

Tell Me 2007-08-10 05:55:00 So, Gentle Reader, we’ve established that you’re smart and kind and have impeccable taste. Who better to ask for advice? I need ten grand by the end of September (that's ten thousand pounds for those less familiar with Brit slang). Ideas (legal and that don’t involve shagging), on a postcard at the usual address. Or you can just leave a comment. Ta muchly. ...

Journeying 2007-08-09 07:08:00 Every weekday morning I board a train that transports me from the bucolic depths of Kent to Central London. The train pulls out of the station, traversing a tangled maze of tracks, and soon, I see; dappled morning sunshine; groundsmen tending the extensive grounds of a notable public school; the rippling lake of a nature reserve; a sheepdog herding a tight gaggle of sheep, his master, arms akimbo ...

EDW: Miss Glory Pearl 2007-08-08 04:37:00 Your very own Burlesque queen, gentle reader, resplendent in new corset, sans stockings, acquired on recent LA trip. I'm not normally one to blow my own trumpet but I simply adore this outfit and thought it only fair to share. So, this week's nominee for Elegantly Dressed Wednesday is the pole dancer, aerialist and Burlesque performer, Miss Glory Pearl, more commonly known to her readers as Puss. ...

Cerceau Of Life 2007-08-07 08:07:00 The Auburn Goddess and I have been thinking about bingo wings, you know, the hang-flappiness of upper arm that goes on if you lift anything above waist level after a certain age. Most depressing. We stood in the studio on Sunday, flapping our bingo wings in horror, unable to tear our gazes away from the sight of so much wobble. Maybe it’s just the result of skin becoming less firm with age, maybe ...

Breaking The Mould (And At Least One Nail) 2007-08-06 11:35:00 Things feel funny. I don’t know if it’s the weather, the planetary alignment, or just me, but I’m struggling to articulate anything. And I haven’t swung round a pole for well over a week. Maybe that’s it. Must try harder. The return to everyday life after a holiday offers one a chance to see the shittiness in all its unmitigated-by-familiarity glory. And I did. And I didn’t like it one bit. So I ...

Silly Season 2007-08-03 11:11:00 So our newest PM has declared our illustrious isle to be ‘the best place in the world to go on holiday'. And to show us what an authentic, money-where-his-mouth-is kind of chap he is, the premier will be eschewing Cape Cod this year in favour of Dorset and Scotland – neatly avoiding the floods but not incurring a huge carbon footprint. Maybe that’ll appease as many voters as it peeves. Or maybe I ...

Feel The Love 2007-08-02 14:20:00 In my youth, I was a prolific and prodigious baker. Bread, cakes, pastries and pies all emerged in a fragrant cloud of fuzzy love from my oven, and my partner at the time and his band mates were the primary recipients of this fare. They were good times. Between studying at university and the three or four part-time jobs I held down, I always found time to cook, and to bake. There was something ...