The Pole Affair How I learned to pole dance and embrace my inner vamp Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 2 0 66 5410

Articles from The Pole Affair

Girl Afraid 2007-09-04 09:34:00 Apparently, I sneeze like a girl. I also run like a girl and catch like a girl. These observations are always delivered with a degree of derision by men (usually at work), but personally, I’m quite happy about being girlish. What’s the alternative, after all? Sneezing like a tortoise? Running like a badger? Catching like a park bench? No, I’ll stick with doing stuff like a girl, thanks. So ...

Living Stone 2007-09-03 08:53:00 My mother has a pet seagull called Jonathan. She told me this yesterday, when I said that I was struggling to come to terms with the knowledge that no matter how hard I try, I cannot fix every situation. I learned young that everything was my fault – if someone was grumpy, it was my fault, if someone was angry, it was my fault, if things went wrong, if my relationships with people went wrong, it ...

Alone Again, Or... 2007-08-31 08:20:00 Sometimes, one’s sense of isolation is absolute. Insomnia and nightmares conspire to render one speechless, mouthing mute horror at the world, too tired to pull back the heavy blanket of sadness that smothers, too weary to face the anger tunnelling beneath it, too scared to own the feelings of rejection, betrayal, and the sense of having been used that lies at the heart, alongside the truth; I’m ...

EDW: Flower Power 2007-08-30 06:16:00 After a recent biopic and revived interest in 1940’s Americana, most people know the delectable Bettie Page. In her day however, Bettie was far less well-known, unless you collected certain ‘specialist’ magazines. There were bigger stars than Betty in the 40’s and 50’s, bigger names who revealed their charms in the name of ecydisiasm, and the most famous of those gorgeous creatures, now largely ...

Floral Tribute 2007-08-29 05:43:00 The clean, green smell of fresh flowers cuts through my reverie as I walk across the concourse at Victoria Station. Looking up, I see a wealth of colour, clustered together in intense bursts of joyous blooms. Deep-red, velvety roses glow sensuously aside acid-coloured gerberas and pale, elegant lilies. The sight is a glorious one; I adore fresh flowers and lament the fact they are now a luxury ...

Pole Position 2007-08-28 10:17:00 Excuse me. I’m finding it a little difficult to focus at present – too many distractions, well, one distraction, frequently, if you get my drift. So I’m behind on all your blogs – sorry about that – and this post is inadequate – sorry about that, too. I shall endeavour to rectify the situation shortly. In the interim, your patience is sought. As promised: It’s been a funny few days; the ardour ...

Lost At Sea 2007-08-27 11:55:00 Lying in a hot, scented bath, sticky with desire, I permit myself the luxury of imagining the intense potency of potential. Slipping beneath the water, thoughts of his hands upon me, suffused, enveloped in warmth, I drown. ...

Knickers 2007-08-24 05:59:00 Yesterday, I arrived at my desk to find a slender, white, rectangular box placed in the centre of it. I knew what it contained (a gift), and I knew that I could not open the box at work (an erotic gift). Yes, Puss has a new admirer, a generous admirer, who sent her the most perfectly rude pair of Agent Provocateur knickers she’s seen in a long while. As you can probably tell, this has turned Puss ...

Inspire Me 2007-08-23 09:52:00 Goodness me. It appears I have a talent for acquiring awards; according to the great, sagacious wisdom of Silverneurotic, I am an Inspirational Blogger. Hurrah! I am most flattered (have you seen the size of her blogroll?), especially as it is my ability to show all you heathens out there that the art of the pole dance is a thing of holiness and joy, and not a sleazy way to part lust-mad fellows ...

Ahem 2007-08-23 05:53:00 Note to self: It is worth remembering that spending the day engaged in full-on, email flirtation leads to inevitable embarrassment at almost forgotten evening appointments with one’s gynaecologist. Actually, my gynaecologist is quite cute. He has twinkling blue eyes, steel grey hair, and his initial froideur has melted to a warm flirtatiousness, which is nice, but not always easily maintained ...

EDW: Chance Would Be A Fine Thing 2007-08-22 05:39:00 Back in the day, when Clive Owen burst onto our television screens in Chancer, I considered him a bit of an overrated pretty boy, despite the mass swooning he induced amongst the female populace. But he’s one of those chaps who just looks better and better with age, and who’s contributing to my sneaking suspicion that I might have a bit of a thing for older men; greying and rough around the edges ...

Bellissima 2007-08-21 07:57:00 Next Saturday, the 25th, Dita von Teese is performing at the Summer Jamboree in Senigallia. Before things went completely tits up with the Lord of Darkness, I asked him to accompany me, and he agreed to. Duly, tickets for the performance were purchased and flights were a mere seventy quid or so – hurrah for a cheap yet glam Bank Holiday weekend, I thought. And then it all went tits up. So, now I ...

Pop My Cherry 2007-08-20 10:13:00 There are people (ok, women), who routinely claim that chocolate is better than sex. Personally, I’ve always considered these people to be either stupid, insane, or frigid. ‘Surely,’ I thought, having enjoyed some truly blissful shags and even some pretty spectacular wanks, ‘These people just aren’t doing it right. Poor things.’ And then, this weekend, I bought a packet of organic, ...

Redemption 2007-08-20 06:57:00 Forgive me. There’s a whirling maelstrom in my head that demands release. It’s all connected but how well I can express that, I don’t know. So, here goes. The wonderful thing about you, Gentle Reader, is that you take me as I am, warts and all. I don’t need to disguise my intellect, my learning, my moods; you come back, time after time, and you accept it all – most of you silently, some of you ...

The Look 2007-08-17 09:43:00 Today, I feel grumpy. I mean really, very, fucking grumpy. Eating chocolate failed to ameliorate my grumpiness, as did a walk around the block; my brow is furrowed and my temper sour. And what has caused this crosspatchy disposition? Well, dipping hormone levels certainly have their part to play, but a week of sleeping badly, the fickleness of friends, the fannying about of a mortgage lender, and ...