The Pole Affair How I learned to pole dance and embrace my inner vamp Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 1 0 65 5481

Articles from The Pole Affair

Princess Puss And The Grubby Frog 2007-10-11 08:01:00 Once upon a time there was a kitty princess who found all her clothes were becoming a little bit tight around the middle. Seriously disheartened by this, she took comfort in dark chocolate coated marzipan and denial, but the clothes did not lie, and she was too poor to buy bigger ones and too damn lazy to pole dance her way back into the ones she had. Luckily, the princess had an admirer who ...

EDW: Elegant Befuddlement 2007-10-10 10:22:00 I'm at sixes and sevens, Gentle Reader; I keep thinking it's Tuesday, but it isn't Tuesday at all - it's a whole twenty four hours later! Being Wednesday means celebrating elegance, so would you take a look at this. Heaven. ...

On High 2007-10-10 09:27:00 The Angel of Robertsbridge called yesterday and as well as discussing what we would do when we meet this weekend, she told me that today, she would be a Page Three Girl. Sort of. Rather than appearing topless in The Sun, she features on page three of The Guardian’s Society section. You see, The Angel is rather special, (as her name implies), and she makes her living helping young people with ...

Clueless 2007-10-09 07:33:00 Regular readers may recall that some months back, I spent a Friday night in Hastings on a blind date with a steam rail enthusiast, La Plus Glam Grandmere, and her beau. I’d been told that my date looked like Harry Potter, and was quite looking forward to a night out with Daniel Radcliffe. Turns out he actually looks like Harry Potter, not the actor who plays Harry Potter, and had an exhaustive ...

‘Remember, ladies, you’re never too old to play ponies.’ 2007-10-08 11:04:00 Friday was not a good day. No, Friday was a pile of shite. Having narrowly escaped injury at the hands of the same taxi driver – twice, in the space of five minutes, (he will be duly reported to the council for his reckless driving, the bastard), I was probably not in the best frame of mind to answer The Admirer’s latest email. But answer it I did, with ire, and not a little self-righteousness. ...

The Final Frontier 2007-10-05 07:03:00 Space. It’s a curiously modern idea, borne, possibly, of our obsession with individualism and proximity – with our mobiles, Blackberrys, laptops and wi-fi, we are never alone, never uncontactable, never free. But ‘space’, in my experience, usually masks something else, is often a byword for ‘I’m just not that into you but I’m scared to say that so I’ll bottle it and convince myself I’m letting ...

Smile 2007-10-04 07:02:00 People come into your life to offer you opportunities for growth and learning, and they often leave for the same reasons, at least, this is what I’ve been telling myself for the past couple of months. I’ve felt hurt, betrayed, used, and I’ve felt delighted, flattered, treasured and loved. Nature abhors a vacuum, so the space left by absence has been filled by the presence of new friends, new ...

EDW: Smalls Is Beautiful 2007-10-03 09:29:00 Amidst a flurry of flirty text messages, I arrived at my desk yesterday morning to find another pink box, for me, from The Admirer. Although desperate to open it and squeal over the saucy treasures contained therein, I knew they would not be ‘safe for work’, and so exercised extreme self-restraint for oooh, ten minutes tops, before pulling off the black, satin ribbon and peeking inside the black ...

For Matt... 2007-10-03 01:56:00 or 'Why I'm Not Yet Ready To Hang Up My Stripper Heels'... ...

Invisible Pole 2007-10-02 10:06:00 For a blog purportedly about pole dancing, there’s been feck all pole action around here for a good long while now. So, at the risk of being all mouth no hotpants, I guess I ought to explain. It appears my friendship and my services are no longer required by one previously considered to be one of my dearest and closest friends. Where once I was shocked and deeply hurt, I am now stoical in my ...

Piss & Wind 2007-10-01 09:07:00 Funny weekend. Spent Saturday afternoon in a windmill. As you do. Had lunch with The Homeopath, who lives in one of those charming Kentish villages, full of weather-boarded cottages, oast houses and at least four pubs. We had planned on going for a walk post lovingly-prepared luncheon, but heavy rainfall that morning rendered my footwear inadequate, so my friend suggested the windmill instead. It ... Amp

‘Nice’ Matters 2007-09-28 09:57:00 Funny old word ‘nice’, one I was always actively discouraged using in my school days due to its lazy lack of descriptiveness. But it’s a good word, a stalwart, always handy to drop in whether one is being sincere or sarcastic. And so to receive a ‘Nice Matters’ award is, well, nice. Thanks CEO, for the nomination. Not sure of the form, but I guess I have to select some of the nicer bloggers out ...

'Fascinating, Fuckable, Fab' 2007-09-27 10:01:00 Still alive; not an axe in sight, as it turned out. Sometimes, dinner is just dinner, and sometimes, it isn’t. Over a bottle of Tattinger, we quickly moved from smalltalk to talk, aided by the thoughtful, little gift he’d brought along for me. It’s been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to relate to someone I don’t know very well, and one of the great pleasures of life is listening to such ...

Afar To Near 2007-09-26 10:24:00 Having dinner with The Admirer tonight. We're meeting in a champagne bar before repairing to the restaurant. Shame I've had food poisoning for the past couple of days, but I'm sure I'll rally, being a greedy bint at heart. Bit nervous to be honest. I guess that's to be expected. So, if I don't post tomorrow, you can either assume I had a really, really good night, or that he turned out to be an ...

EDW: Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady 2007-09-26 10:07:00 I’m guessing most of you are aware that Pointless Posh and her Increasingly Injured Spouse were voted ’most overrated people’ by US Life. Calling Posh ‘a pointless collection of body parts’ strikes me as the pithiest and most pertinent description I’ve heard of her in ages – certainly more appropriate than the ‘Woman of the Year’ title Glamour magazine awarded her. ‘Woman of the Year’? That? My ...