The Pole Affair How I learned to pole dance and embrace my inner vamp Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 11 0 0 5520

Articles from The Pole Affair

Autistic Autumn 2007-11-01 17:45:00 Do you ever get the feeling that some kind of schism has occurred in the fabric of the universe, leaving it on one side, and you on the other? You’re slightly out of step, somewhat removed, the world running along behind an invisible pane of glass, refraction rendering your reactions out of time. And space. It’s been this way all week, and I find myself wondering if this is what Plath meant when ...

EDW: Black Orchid 2007-10-31 15:31:00 I have long considered Sophia Loren one of the most sexy, glamorous women ever to appear on film. And tomorrow, when I have a bit more time, I shall set out my reasons for admiring her. For now, I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom from the gloriously gorgeous woman herself, and this image of her, at 72 years old, taken from the 2007 Pirelli calendar. Now that’s a healthy self-image. "A ...

The Greatest Of Ease 2007-10-30 10:25:00 It’s almost three years since I broke my right foot. The accident itself was most mundane; I dropped a table on it, breaking the metatarsal bone in my right big toe, whilst setting up a room for a visiting speaker at the school where I taught. The medical treatment I received was woefully inadequate; they couldn’t see the break and so refused to acknowledge it was there. Six weeks after the ...

Fingers and Toes 2007-10-29 10:20:00 I don’t know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was boredom; I had spent the whole weekend at home, and most of it in bed eating miniature, marzipan-filled stollen and fighting off a cold after all, and there are only so many New York Review essays a girl can read. But I did it, I made a list of all the men I’ve been involved with in my life, from my first tentative schoolgirl fumblings to my ...

Marked Woman 2007-10-26 07:11:00 Yesterday was unfortunate; it began, unfortunately, at 5.30am, and finished some twenty hours later with frustrated desire. Jolly Boss is away on holiday, and so I am hellish busy at work, and quite grumpy, too. London has descended into the steel-grey shell of winter, and it feels like an assault. I abhor this weather, the darkness, the pall it shrouds everything with, bleaching the colour and ...

High Life Highlights 2007-10-25 05:44:00 I have no idea how I got through Wednesday. Actually, that’s a lie, I know how I got through, I ate enough calories to power a small village, self-medicating with sugar to keep myself awake after no more than a couple of hours of very disturbed sleep. God that hotel that was noisy. Yesterday’s post only appeared through sheer effort of will, so forgive the rambling tone. As promised, here are ...

EDW: Miss Pole Dance 2007 2007-10-24 12:31:00 ‘I find you very intriguing.’ said the tall, dark actor/singer/dancer/comedian/DJ/juggler/stranger. ‘Well,’ I replied nonchalantly, ‘You wouldn’t be the first.’ He laughed, and I continued to chat to him and his friends as we waited for the competition to start. It was nearly 11pm and the club was crowded, people jostling for position, security guards struggling for control, TV crew milling ...

Circles Of Security 2007-10-23 05:40:00 There’s good stiff and there’s bad stiff. Take that as you will. But today, I’m definitely good stiff, having had my first trapeze class with Alex last night. I think I mentioned before that I am in a beginners’ class, because I want to learn from scratch and learn right, but I couldn’t help but gaze longingly at the three sets of silks rigged up at the other end of the room. We all warmed up ...

Give Us A Twirl 2007-10-22 11:18:00 Friday evening passed in a deep haze of contentment, the kind of contentment only the acquisition of glamorous smalls can engender; I am easily, if expensively, pleased. After trying on, trying to photograph, and admiring the results, I repaired to bed, sleeping happily, rising early, for I had much to prepare. At the allotted Saturday hour, I trundled off to Tunbridge Wells, where I was to ...

Bad Cat 2007-10-19 10:53:00 Much excitement. Spoke to Steve of Pole Passion yesterday, and Kay (also of Pole Passion) today. I am all set for Miss Pole Dance next Tuesday (they've even offered me two VIP tickets if I want to bring a couple of friends), now I just need somewhere to stay, which shouldn’t be too much trouble in Brighton. Hurrah! I’ve booked the afternoon off work, so I’ll get there around mid-afternoon and ...

Fabulous Is As Fabulous Does 2007-10-18 06:38:00 There are a fair few things I’m really crap at in this world, looking after myself properly, taking politicians seriously, and not buying shoes/knickers being three of them, but I’m also rather good at some other stuff, like coordinating my accessories with my outfit, parallel parking, and giving blow jobs. So hurrah for me. Looks like I need to add ‘winning blog awards’ to my list as well, ...

EDW: She’s Lost Control 2007-10-17 11:57:00 Apparently, people with depression are prescribed up to 220mg of Amitriptyline and they don’t get side effects. Ergo, being on 10mg, I should not get side-effects. That’s my GP’s logic anyway. Helpful stuff, especially as I feel worse today. Anyway, went to see Control last night with The Admirer, which was possibly not the best move in the world. The tale of a young man who disintegrates upon ...

Curmudgeon 2007-10-16 08:17:00 Waiting for your GP to call you back is a bit like waiting for Victoria Beckham to say something intelligent; you believe the capacity may exist, but thus far, there’s no evidence to suggest it will happen any time soon. Cunts. You may have noticed I’ve been a bit sluggish on the blogging front, and this tendency has crept into my everyday life. Most of the time, you will find me earnestly ...

Jazz Baby 2007-10-15 14:24:00 Friday was a dark day. Literally. With a migraine bubbling beneath the surface, the office lights above me were turned off and we all sat in the half light of a steely, grey October day. Thankfully, I have understanding colleagues. Such a reaction to acupuncture is common by all accounts, feeling like crap means it’s working, which was a relief, because having taken the morning off to get ...

'Hello, Miss...' 2007-10-12 06:17:00 Funny old day yesterday; deeply cunty in the main, with flashes of remarkable serendipity. Went to see an acupuncturist in the morning – for the migraines and paid for by work healthcare plan (hurrah!). Turns out he’s a GP as well, and is fit as fuck. However, I must report that making eyes at someone when you have needles stuck in your face is inadvisable as the needles move about when you pull ...