The Pole Affair How I learned to pole dance and embrace my inner vamp Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 8 0 107 6075

Articles from The Pole Affair

So... 2007-12-28 15:39:00 If a man thinks you're out of his league, is he right? ...

Boxing Clever 2007-12-27 11:24:00 There are times in life when the most efficacious course of action is that of inaction. So it was yesterday; the long, to-do list remains unticked, friends remain unvisited, and plans unmade. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but something is, and for once, I’m not going to try and figure it out or articulate it; I’m just going to let it be. Consequently, I don’t have much to say, and when ...

EDW: Spiderman Of The Caribbean 2007-12-26 11:37:00 “There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.”* Out and about on Christmas Eve, I was struck by Scott Fitzgerald’s words, not least because I felt I could fit into at least three of those categories. The universe proved relentless, delivering an email from my father, entitled ‘Reconciliation’, to my inbox. What my father means by 'reconciliation' is an email stating he is ... Caribbean

My, What Shiny Balls! 2007-12-24 18:02:00 Happy Chirstmas, Gentle Reader. ...

Divine Timing 2007-12-24 11:28:00 When I woke on Saturday morning, all that stood between me and two weeks off was two hours of tutoring. I drove through fog and a frost so thick it looked as if it had snowed to deliver my personal blend of wisdom, essay technique and reassurance, leaving two happy teenagers in my wake. On my way home, I stopped by the sorting office to collect a mystery package that required a signature, and ...

The Longest Night 2007-12-23 10:24:00 If the last few days are anything to go by, this year is going to be bizarre to the end. Friday started well enough, with Beau de Toujours presenting me with my own copy of The Northern Lights trilogy; a gesture touching for its sweetness and generosity. Jolly Boss told me I’m getting a pay rise from January, and the photographer who has agreed to work on my book with me was at our office ...

How To Scare A Man Shitless 2007-12-21 07:54:00 1. Be smart. 2. Be sexy. 3. Be confident. 4. Tell him you fancy him. 5. Maintain a professional manner in the work environment. Yesterday, I took the bull by the horns and talked to Cute Colleague. Things have been self-conscious since last Friday, with eye contact at a minimum. I couldn’t go on like that so decided to establish some normalcy and take him at his word about being friendly. ...

Solid 2007-12-20 10:43:00 Answer me this, Gentle Reader; does eating rum-soaked stollen at 7am make one a lush? In my defence, there was feck all else left to eat in the house, and I needed something to impart sufficient energy to get my poor, tired, ill frame out of the door this morning. Yes, it’s official, my immune system is fucked. No sooner had I recovered from the chest infection than I caught a head cold. The ...

EDW: Santa, Baby 2007-12-19 07:01:00 Is it just me, or is Santa Claus getting fatter? Every image I see of him, whether it be on TV ads, posters or standing in shop windows, he’s clearly become clinically obese. Now, in these days of fattening populations and thinnening chimneys, I think that’s a little irresponsible and the fat boy should go on a diet. However, at this late stage, and with a planet of mince pies and glasses of ...

Humanism 2007-12-18 09:52:00 With recovery comes repentance. I am usually the model of propriety at work functions, but I think the combination of ‘home turf’ and a constant stream of alcohol led me to a kind of boldness usually reserved for ma vie priveé. I missed my train because I was talking to a colleague. Emboldened by champagne and rum and gin (as if I needed emboldening), I asked him something I’d been meaning to ask ...

Under The Influence 2007-12-17 07:32:00 For many years, the boundaries between my personal life and my professional life were irredeemably blurred, as I lived on campus. The stress of this took its toll, and so when I changed careers, I carefully guarded my personal life marking its boundary with a ninety-minute commute. In answer to those who ask if I am on Facebook, I always reply that I am not, because I like to keep things separate ...

Amity 2007-12-14 09:31:00 I went back to Seduction last night, the erotic art exhibition at The Barbican. This time, La Belle accompanied me, and while she began at the beginning, I went back to the bits I’d missed first time. This included the early photographs of Monsieur X and others, which were great fun. I particularly liked the photograph of a maid in her uniform, lying back on an ornate sideboard, with a fag in one ...

People, Pole & Polepeople 2007-12-13 10:17:00 The train was cold, and I sat there, huddled in my coat, physically tired out after a strenuous trapeze class, thinking surely it was about time I just let go. The weight of the past, the limitations under which I have forced myself to operate, all of the shit needs to be released. I stretched my legs, wiggled my freezing toes and felt the present moment ebb and flow around me; the sensation that ... Amp

EDW: Joannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus 2007-12-12 09:27:00 I get the impression Baroque music is a little out of fashion these days. Shame. I was listening to a radio programme about Einstein last weekend and the great man’s love of Mozart was discussed. This got me thinking. Einstein saw Mozart’s music as beautiful – a quality he prized highly, but whilst I agree that Mozart’s music is undeniably beautiful, it also has simplicity, which makes it truly ...

And You Thought I'd Forgotten 2007-12-11 08:26:00 You may recall, Gentle Reader, that some weeks back, I performed at a showcase in Derby. Minxy kindly recorded the routine, and Man The Nice has uploaded it. So, if you'd like to see Puss doing what she does, you will need to drop me an email (or a comment if I already have your email) and I will let you have the password. Then all you do is click here, enter the aforementioned password, and ...