The Pole Affair How I learned to pole dance and embrace my inner vamp Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 11 0 0 5520

Articles from The Pole Affair

EDW: No Mug 2007-08-01 08:19:00 Apologies for missing Elegantly Dressed Wednesday last week – I had every intention of posting, it was all planned out, but I turned out to be far too unwell to do much of anything. Horrid cold thing has turned into horrid chest infection, so I’m still struggling but hopeful that the course of antibiotics prescribed yesterday will soon have me purring again (as opposed to growling a la Marianne ...

Beyond Darkness 2007-07-31 13:47:00 Being ill on holiday ‘sucks’. Being ill on holiday with a period having just been disrespectfully dumped ‘sucks ass’. Since landing in the UK, I’ve been trying to maintain the bubble of holiday, existing in a time and space outside of my life in an attempt to protect and preserve my wounded heart. But it doesn’t work, and I am forced to think about the end of the affair. What is beyond my ...

American Addendum 2007-07-30 15:20:00 Four things that really got on my tits last week: If I stop masticating for more than thirty seconds, someone tries to take my plate away. And if I order dessert, once it arrives, the bill follows shortly thereafter. The way everyone says ‘How are you?’ and ‘You’re welcome.’ In exactly the same tone of voice leading me to surmise that all service industry workers are fitted with a courtesy chip ...

Multiple Memes 2007-07-30 09:33:00 In my absence, I got tagged with two memes. Lucky me. First, Uncivil tagged me with ‘The Moaning Meme’. You tag five poor bastards who will be annoyed at being tagged, but as I think any one of you would be, I’m a bit stumped, so bugger it, I’m not going to tag anyone. Then you list: Four things that should go into an Orwellian Room 101 and be removed from the face of our fair planet: 1. Estate ...

Snickerdoodle Day 2007-07-29 16:42:00 Despite only five hours sleep, I awoke Thursday morning feeling a little better than I had in days. Forced to get ready in a matter of minutes, I rushed through the Wynn to meet Naomi, The Auburn Goddess having left earlier in search of coffee. Naomi was running later than we were, so all was well, and we arrived at the studio ready to dance. Belly dancing is fun. It is also a damn sight more ...

Ah-tissu! 2007-07-26 12:30:00 Two hours of aerial training seems positively masochistic when you’re so weak getting out of the bath exhausts you but, as previously mentioned, I am nothing if not stupid and stubborn. We met the gorgeous Naomi of StudiOhm early (for Vegas) on Wednesday morning, and drove out to her beautiful new studio. She warmed us up with her tribal dance moves before we hit the golden-yellow aerial tissus, ...

The Twilight Zone 2007-07-25 05:29:00 It was 3pm before I finally got out of bed on Tuesday. Deeply hungover herself, The Auburn Goddess informed me I looked liked I’d just had major surgery, so frail, pale and feeble did I appear. But I was also on holiday, so I was damned if I was going to spend a week in a hotel room, and agreed to accompany her to the Fashion Show Mall across the road. Of course, it took a while to get there as ...

Under The Weather On Top Of The World 2007-07-24 16:21:00 I’m sitting up in my king-sized bed, Egyptian cotton bedding pulled cosily around me, racked with a coldy-fluy-virus thing, blogging. The room, a Parlour Suite at the Wynn, is impossibly luxurious; a most comfortable place to be ill, in fact. Room service were kind enough to bring me blueberry pancakes and English Breakfast tea (sadly not in a pot), and I used the honey and lemon that came with ...

'S' Is For... 2007-07-24 14:53:00 Sunday morning was a leisurely affair. The Auburn Goddess went off to sunbathe by the pool while I pottered about, waiting for Claudia to arrive. We had arranged to meet at the hotel, have brunch and then drive to our classes, where Claudia wanted to photograph us. I was very excited about meeting her, for she was the first blogger I was to meet in real life. Right on time, she pitched up and ...

'Major' 2007-07-24 14:53:00 ‘Is it just us, or does this happen to everyone?’ I mused. The Auburn Goddess looked askance, ‘Of course it’s just us. Who else do you know who attracts such weirdos?’ She had a point. I know they call LA ‘La-La Land’, but the last couple of days had been really quite extraordinary. Saturday was shopping time. We started at Trashy Lingerie, where I invested in a fabulous Burlesque outfit, before ...

Jet L.A.g 2007-07-21 12:03:00 Finally, there is clarity; the Lord of Darkness dismissed me with a text message. To the last, confusing, controlling, painful. My mood sank accordingly and the heavens opened. Heavy rain warnings. In July. They weren't joking either. As I lifted my suitcase into the back of The Auburn Goddess's car on Friday morning, I was drenched. The hour was unholy. But traffic was light and we made the ...

This Bra May Be Smokin’ But It Ain’t For Burnin' 2007-07-19 06:23:00 Yesterday’s G2 Grauniad supplement contained a special tribute to fifty years of the womens’ page. It’s one of a few things that has recently got me thinking about feminism again. For many years, I would have described myself as a feminist, and for some of them, a staunch feminist, but now? Well, now, I’m rather more equivocal about the whole thing and I’d be more likely to describe myself as a ' ...

EDW: Antithesis 2007-07-18 08:45:00 Ok, so over the last however many weeks, I have presented my thesis of elegant dressing. Today, in the absence of inspiration, and while I plot and scheme an EDW treat you’ll just have to wait a bit longer for, I thought I’d give you some of the more terrifying crimes against fashion I have recently observed on my travels: 1. Chunky lady wearing leopard print ballet pumps with purple lacy tights ...

Carrion 2007-07-17 12:09:00 Some things happen and you just have to sit with them for a few days before you can blog it. On the way back from Reading on Sunday, I bet The Auburn Goddess that my traffic would spike on Monday as the vultures circled, looking for fresh meat upon which to feast their unholy appetites. I wasn’t wrong, so thanks for that, ladies. What I hadn’t reckoned on was that they would extend their ...

Kiss My Shiny Metallic Ass 2007-07-16 12:46:00 Post to follow when I feel less unwell... *** Apologies for absence, Gentle Reader, but huge and grateful thanks for your lovely supportive comments. I have a migraine and that, coupled with a couple of nasty shocks, rather floored me. I’m trying to rally. And am annoyed, because I was regaining my usual vim and vigour before the vipers got me. Sigh. Anyway, post as promised: You know you’re ...