The Pole Affair How I learned to pole dance and embrace my inner vamp Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 4 0 1 6602

Articles from The Pole Affair

Party Girl 2008-01-18 07:42:00 Thursday evening, at 6.15pm, I sat at my desk yawning and grumpy. The Photographer was having a party, and I was regretting having agreed to attend (this man is going to photograph me in my underwear so it’s important I keep on the right side of him). Aching limbs, sleepy head, and the cold, wet, winter night all conspired to sap my enthusiasm and send me home to bed. But my colleague wasn’t ...

Going Greek 2008-01-17 10:01:00 Today was to be the day I talked to you about anal sex. But frankly, everything aches after pole class last night and I’m not entirely sure I’m up to it. After giggling our way through the dance routine Elena has choreographed for us as a warm up – she makes it look so easy, we make it look ridiculous – we moved straight into our shoulder mounts. Now, your shoulder mount involves standing with ...

EDW: Der Blaue Engel 2008-01-16 08:23:00 In celebration of my impending trip to Berlin, today’s nominee for Elegantly Dressed Wednesday is none other than Marlene Dietrich, one of the city’s most famous daughters – although a prodigal one, leaving the city for Hollywood in the 1930’s, becoming an American citizen in 1937, living her final years in Paris, and only returning to Berlin to be buried. Marlene’s life is the stuff of legend; ...

Amazing... 2008-01-16 01:39:00 what you can do with the timer on the camera compared to what you can do without it. Now if only I could figure out how to get all of me in the picture... Jocelyn, the knickers fit beautifully. Thank you. ...

'B' Is For... 2008-01-15 10:15:00 The power of intent is a marvellous thing. I’m off to Berlin next month, with The Pink Pound and Beau de Toujours – who says my fag hag days are over? Hurrah for the easyjet sale and for my dear August; between them, even I am (sort of) able to afford the trip. In addition, the Charleston lady I’ve been talking to has offered me a class for a fiver. At this rate, I’ll be through my resolutions by ...

Headcase With A Smile 2008-01-14 09:23:00 Ever tried photographing your own arse? I wouldn’t recommend it. Seems to me it’s virtually impossible to get the whole thing in at an acceptable angle unless you’ve got six foot long arms. Instead you end up with a frankly obscene crotch shot, or a bum cheek that looks the size of a small planet. Not having six foot long arms, I struggled to get a decent shot of the delightful knickers Jocelyn ...

Pleased As Pants 2008-01-11 12:02:00 Once again the blogosphere has smiled its bounty on Puss; yesterday, a disc arrived from Quinky containing more French popular music from the last fifty or so years than any pole dancer has a right to. Bless him for that. I shall be trying to pole dance to some of it this weekend in my quest to try out different types of music and see how it affects the way one uses and moves around the pole. I’ ...

Pole Power 2008-01-10 09:13:00 Endorphins. Phew! I’d forgotten what fun an endorphin rush is but as I walked across Trafalgar Square after pole class last night, I was buzzing. All day, I’d been looking forward to the class, and arrived to find some familiar faces and some new ones. After an energetic warm-up, we hit the poles, all variously complaining about stiff, achy bodies; the result of action or inaction over the ...

EDW: Interior Design 2008-01-09 05:26:00 It’s 2008! Blimey. What with all the navel gazing, introspection, reconciliations and petty drama, I’d taken my eye off the New Year ball. This is the time for resolutions, for trying to stop all those bad habits and make empty promises to do everything better. Even Dita’s at it, resolving to be ‘more eccentric’ as this LA Times article attests. There’s a fine line between ‘eccentricity’ and ‘ ... Design

Lay Lady Lay 2008-01-08 07:06:00 Last weekend was spent trying to do all the things on my to-do list before my two-week hiatus evaporated into the madness of modern life again. Needless to say, it was a case of too little, too late, and nothing of significance was accomplished. I spent a bit of time beating myself up for frittering away a fortnight, and then considered that actually, in those two weeks, a lot of thinking has ...

Fucked Up 2008-01-07 06:19:00 "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." Mark Twain "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein Once again, this blog has got me into trouble and I’ve been criticised for putting it above the feelings of those around me. At this point, I don’t know if ...

Resolution, Too 2008-01-05 13:58:00 Thursday morning saw us venture into unchartered waters; over tea and toast, my mother asked me how I felt about my childhood. Had the same question been posed a decade ago, I would have answered angrily. Now, however, with all the anger gone, I told her quite simply that I remember being afraid most of the time. ‘Of what?’ she asked me. ‘Of everything.’ I replied. I told her how, as a teacher ...

New Year's Resolution 2008-01-04 17:00:00 In Africa, they say that when the gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers. I prayed for closure, for endings, for resolution, and over the last few days, that is what I got. What I hadn’t bargained for was the sadness that attends the death of hope. Procrastinating wildly could not save me from my fate; I drove reluctantly to Cornwall on Tuesday, and arrived at supper time, full of ...

Zeugma 2008-01-01 07:16:00 Monday morning, New Year’s Eve, I awoke groggy and stiff. Overwhelmed by lassitude and events, I lay in my bed without even trying to understand. As a general rule, I really don’t enjoy New Year’s Eve. This year, I had arranged to meet The Angel for a dog walk on the beach, and in the evening I was to attend a party, but had discovered that the party was actually in the afternoon, leaving me with ...

Cocksucker 2007-12-31 17:49:00 You’d think with two weeks of self-imposed hibernation that life would be dull, uneventful, but no, the soap opera continues apace and I am left wondering – is it me, or is everyone’s life like this? On Friday I met The Homeopath in a Tunbridge Wells awash with bargain-hungry shoppers. The Homeopath is the person to spend time with when one emerges from self-imposed exile, for we inhabit silence ...