The Daily Bitch
Putting the \'fun\' back into dysfunctional since...well, for a really long time. People tell me I\'m funny, which is weird to me because nobody ever gets my jokes. C\'mon over, it\'s more fun than a barrel of people. |
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Articles from The Daily Bitch |
Trick or Treat!
2007-10-31 06:00:00
HAPPY HALLOWEENfromPierre Hamel of the '75 OKC Blazers and pre-Kotter Gabe Kaplan.(okay, it was my brother and me, but you see the resemblances, right?)In this particular costume, I knocked on my grandma's door, my uncle answered--and didn't recognize me. I duly reported back to my mother that "Uncle Terry didn't know" who I was, so she sent me back and I just walked right in the house. My uncle hollered for his mom (my grandma) and Grandma proceeded to lecture me on the impropriety, bad manners, and dangers of walking into a stranger's house.At that point I believe I started giggling...and then the jig was up.We still make fun of Grandma for that...and for many, many other things.I have no idea why Grandma doesn't like me. ...
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I am the Best.Aunt.Ever.
2007-10-30 16:21:00
Is it wrong for me to teach my baby niece how to say red rum and do that little finger thing like the kid in The Shining?Nah. ...
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I am the Best.Aunt.Ever.
2007-10-30 16:21:00
Is it wrong for me to teach my baby niece how to say red rum and do that little finger thing like the kid in The Shining?Nah. ...
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Monday discoveries and odd things
2007-10-29 16:54:00
Remember that time I told you that I buy toilet paper every time I go to the store? (and coincidentally, when I went to look up that post I discovered that I wrote it 2 years ago today! How odd!)In addition to that weirdness, I must confess that I buy deodorant every time it's on sale, no matter how much I already have at home. And then? When it gets low (not empty-I never use it all the way down!) I do NOT throw it away, I put it in the medicine cabinet "just in case".In case of what? Nuclear war in which all the deodorant factories are vaporized?My family will be the sweetest smellin', gaaahRONteed.I discovered today that it appears I've broken my previous record in the sport of How Long Can I Go Without Shaving My Legs?Go me!I've decided to make cornrows. With beads.Also, I discovered that it's not much fun to play pick-up-the-soap when you're showering alone.Surely one has nothing to do with the other.Surely.That is all.Have a day. ...
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Monday discoveries and odd things
2007-10-29 16:54:00
Remember that time I told you that I buy toilet paper every time I go to the store? (and coincidentally, when I went to look up that post I discovered that I wrote it 2 years ago today! How odd!)In addition to that weirdness, I must confess that I buy deodorant every time it's on sale, no matter how much I already have at home. And then? When it gets low (not empty-I never use it all the way down!) I do NOT throw it away, I put it in the medicine cabinet "just in case".In case of what? Nuclear war in which all the deodorant factories are vaporized?My family will be the sweetest smellin', gaaahRONteed.I discovered today that it appears I've broken my previous record in the sport of How Long Can I Go Without Shaving My Legs?Go me!I've decided to make cornrows. With beads.Also, I discovered that it's not much fun to play pick-up-the-soap when you're showering alone.Surely one has nothing to do with the other.Surely.That is all.Have a day. ...
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Maybe yes, maybe no...
2007-10-29 11:47:00
I've been considering it for quite some time, but I keep forgetting to ask you about it.Jeckles was a guest on my show quite some time ago, and it was great fun.I'm thinking of making it a semi-regular thing--guest spots, I mean to say.You interested in a guest spot/interview?It'll be fun...and we can make fun of the people in the chat room, which is always a good time.Let me know if you're up for a good time. ...
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Maybe yes, maybe no...
2007-10-29 11:47:00
I've been considering it for quite some time, but I keep forgetting to ask you about it.Jeckles was a guest on my show quite some time ago, and it was great fun.I'm thinking of making it a semi-regular thing--guest spots, I mean to say.You interested in a guest spot/interview?It'll be fun...and we can make fun of the people in the chat room, which is always a good time.Let me know if you're up for a good time. ...
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The HELL?
2007-10-29 08:54:00
How could I possibly have lost the USB cord for my scanner?It's gone, gone, gone I tell you.Dammit. ...
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The HELL?
2007-10-29 08:54:00
How could I possibly have lost the USB cord for my scanner?It's gone, gone, gone I tell you.Dammit. ...
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Word Picture Sunday
2007-10-28 06:00:00
(Don't forget to download or listen to the Halloween show!)Unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!The rules are quite simple:1. Pick a name from your blogroll2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.4. Post the blog, word, and picture.See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.*Side benefit: I'm cleaning up my blogroll...I didn't realize how many mislabeled and old links I had in there.This week's featured blogger: Finn from A Life Less Ordinary.This is but one of the many words that describe Finn: Evocative(because I couldn't find an image for kick-your-dick-up hot)In this case, I think the picture captures it better than words ever could. ...
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Word Picture Sunday
2007-10-28 06:00:00
(Don't forget to download or listen to the Halloween show!)Unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!The rules are quite simple:1. Pick a name from your blogroll2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.4. Post the blog, word, and picture.See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.*Side benefit: I'm cleaning up my blogroll...I didn't realize how many mislabeled and old links I had in there.This week's featured blogger: Finn from A Life Less Ordinary.This is but one of the many words that describe Finn: Evocative(because I couldn't find an image for kick-your-dick-up hot)In this case, I think the picture captures it better than words ever could. ...
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In The Abstract
2007-10-26 14:09:00
but first..TUNE IN tonight at 9pm Central (10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific) for Halloween Fun with Monty!Two hours of...stuff.CHAT ROOM will be open!Only on EMPIRE RADIO.Did you ever have so much stuff crammed into your head that, when you look in the mirror, you expect to see lines of text trickling from your ears?Or is that just me?Are you ever so confused that, if you were drawn as a cartoon, your thought bubbles would look like a Pollack painting?Or is that just me?After more than 10 years of internet usage, I'm astounded (not really) to find that I still cannot properly set up Outlook Express. I do not understand how to make it work.Is it just me?That is all.Have a day. ...
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In The Abstract
2007-10-26 14:09:00
but first..TUNE IN tonight at 9pm Central (10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific) for Halloween Fun with Monty!Two hours of...stuff.CHAT ROOM will be open!Only on EMPIRE RADIO.Did you ever have so much stuff crammed into your head that, when you look in the mirror, you expect to see lines of text trickling from your ears?Or is that just me?Are you ever so confused that, if you were drawn as a cartoon, your thought bubbles would look like a Pollack painting?Or is that just me?After more than 10 years of internet usage, I'm astounded (not really) to find that I still cannot properly set up Outlook Express. I do not understand how to make it work.Is it just me?That is all.Have a day. ...
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