The Daily Bitch Putting the \'fun\' back into dysfunctional since...well, for a really long time. People tell me I\'m funny, which is weird to me because nobody ever gets my jokes. C\'mon over, it\'s more fun than a barrel of people. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 36 0 73 6280

Articles from The Daily Bitch

A mini-pimp and a conversation 2007-11-29 20:43:00 Make plans now to tune inFriday night at 9pm CST (10pm EST, 7pm PST)forFriday Night Live with Monty (me)with special Guest StarGOLFWIDOW!Plus the usual unpreparedness and insanity. Good times....with my daughter, the teetotaler:She: "What are you drinking?"ME: "What's it to ya? Are you the drink police?"She: "No! But I was just curious."ME: "A glass of wine. Is that okay with you, missy?"She: *siiiiiiigh* "I guess. I just don't really approve of that."WHERE DID I GO WRONG?? ...

Christmas Card Alert! 2007-11-27 11:39:00 So comes the time of year when we think of things like cookies, reindeer, pretty lights and fat dudes in red. No, it's not the annual Vegas trip.YOU know what I'm talking about. And may I just take a moment to point to the sidebar on the right, whereupon a tiny link called "My Wishlist" resides (hover your mouse-pointer over it for a special message). Just in case you, you know, were feeling generous or something.NOW.As much as I'd love to give each and every one of you one of these for Christmas, I'm a broke mofo (single-motherhood isn't so great for Gift Budgets), so don't be sitting by the mailbox waiting--you'll only be disappointed when the mailman looks at you sadly (once again) and shakes his head (once again).HOWEVER.I would like to send you a Christmas card--in which I will actually write. By hand, not type. Kooky, huh? I KNOW!That means you have to email me your address. And may I just take a moment to point to the sidebar on the left, whereupon a "Contact" link reside ...

You know you want to touch it. 2007-11-26 13:47:00 You need to see the creepiest accessory EVER MADE.WHY O WHY would someone do that? ...

Word Picture Sunday 2007-11-25 10:22:00 Join in the fun...don't forget to put your link in the Mr. Linky box so that everyone may come and admire your handiwork!Now unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!The rules are quite simple:1. Pick a name from your blogroll2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.4. Post the blog, word, and picture.See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.This week I chose a woman who, in my mind, is THE Woman Of Substance. She's like rock covered in fluff covered in rock covered in fluff. What I mean is, she's strong/flexible/soft/resilient all at the same time. Of course I'm talking about my favorite nurse, Heather of Blog, Blah, Blah. She's funny, she's eloquent, caring, and tough. Her job has meaning, her life has meaning, SHE has meaning, so the word ...

Q of the D 2007-11-23 16:53:00 *editMissed the show? No problem. Part 2 of the Concert Series (and part 1, as well!) can be found RIGHT HERE.Listen while you Meet & Greet.Q of the D: (as stolen from The F-Man)If I was your next door neighbor, what would you most likely say that I like best about living next door to you, and what would I say I dislike most about living next door to you?Discuss. ...

Eat me, Pilgrim 2007-11-22 08:50:00 Happy Thanksgiving!You're on the list of things I'm thankful for today. ...

Hm. 2007-11-20 23:14:00 Ever have one of those days when you just want to look at everyone around you and say, "Fuck all y'all" ??Oh.Yeah.Me neither.I was just wondering. ...

One additional thought. 2007-11-19 16:17:00 I'm not going to lie; I do want to be a burden on my children when I get old.It's all about the PAYBACK, BABY!Haha, just kidding.Mostly. ...

Thoughts From Sonic 2007-11-19 08:44:00 Strange, what floats through your mind while waiting for a Route 44 iced tea and cheddr peppers from the Crackhouse.I bet Princes William and Harry are happy--and relieved--that they don't look much like their dad.I think the whole "Goth" thing is just an excuse for boys to wear makeup.I've never, ever seen a male carhop at Sonic.When I was a waitress, there may (allegedly!) have been a time or two or so when I may (allegedly!) have been rude to a stupid asshole customer. The asshole customer may (allegedly!) have said something like, "I'll have your job!"It may (allegedly!) have taken all my willpower not to reply, "Why the hell would you want it? It sucks. You'd have to deal with people like you."People are the biggest hazard to the human race.Whenever I hear (or say) the phrase "Hump-day", I have a mental picture of people walking around rubbing up on each other all day.Sometimes I tell people that I have a tattoo on my lower belly that says, "Abandon all hope ye who enter here" ...

Word Picture Sunday 2007-11-18 13:06:00 Join in the fun...don't forget to put your link in the Mr. Linky box so that everyone may come and admire your handiwork!Now unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!The rules are quite simple:1. Pick a name from your blogroll2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.4. Post the blog, word, and picture.See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.This week I'm featuring one of my favorite people (I know, I always say that, but it's always true): Birdie, formerly of The Beauty Dish, which was filled with the most remarkable stories of being an Avon Lady.She's given up the Avon in favor of publishing a book(!!), but I have always loved the way Birdie can bring life to a story--her words full of excitement that brings you right along side her in her ad ...

Putting it into perspective 2007-11-16 11:47:00 **EDIT! What you missed last night...Friday Night Live with Monty: v. CONCERT SERIES (Part One)AND!Excellent musicLots and lots (and LOTS!) of wine (Steph, you should've been there!)Love, love, loveA Mr. Fab-induced giggle fitA big chesty laughHoss CartwrightBea ArthurGame of the future: SCULPEYOPOLY!andMeLuckily I uploaded the whole debacle show for you RIGHT HERE.TUNE IN LIVE next week for PART TWO of the Concert Series.One of the sites I lurk via bloglines is this wonderful lady, Jill.Yesterday I read a paragraph that made so much sense to me, it was like a bell in my head and my first thought was simply "EXACTLY!"...I've observed this behavior in people. I think there are many of us who could benefit from her wisdom. (the bolding is my doing)"To put it in a simple way, I think excessive optimism is hazardous to a person's mental health. When you put too much trust out, it can come back to you in the form of paranoia. When you expect someone you love to have the same interpretati ...

Crappuccino? 2007-11-15 08:23:00 I love coffee. I do, even though we've recently been having issues with one another.However.I was just now reading about a really rare coffee called Kopi Luwak, which I believe translates to "cat shit" or "poop coffee" (okay, civet shit, but close enough).Apparently these civets eat the best coffee beans, crap them out whole, and then people gather up the shit, wash off the beans and sell 'em.Also filed under "jobs I don't ever want to have".There are some lengths to which even I will not go for a caffeine fix.in other news...Be sure to tune in to my show tomorrow night (FRIDAY!) at 9pm CST (10pm EST) for Friday Night Live on EMPIRE RADIO, as the jet-setting MR FABULOUS brings you the "Hey baby, what's your sign?" horoscope segment!Tune in. Don't make him cry. It ain't pretty. ...

Divided by fours 2007-11-13 22:27:00 One of my newest pals, the lovely Smiler, has chosen to ignore my anti-social tendencies tagged me with a Foursome. (that sort of sounds dirty. I like it) The Four Meme.4 jobs I've had:WaitressTelemarketer (I know! Ick! I was only 20)Hotel General Manager (Studio 6, La Quinta Inn)Writer/Photographer4 movies I love to watch over and over:Sense and SensibilityWaiting For GuffmanThe Big ChillMonty Python and the Holy Grail4 places I have lived:Luther, OklahomaEdmond, OklahomaJones, OklahomaMidwest City, Oklahoma4 TV shows I enjoy watching:Grey's AnatomyThe Amazing RaceHell's Kitchen (and Kitchen Nightmares, I loves me some Gordon Ramsay! YUM)Boston Legal4 places I have been:Disney Land (CA)Disney World (FL)New Orleans, LA6th St. in Austin, TX4 websites I visit daily:Bloglines (how ELSE could I lurk you all?)FacebookeBay (no, it's for my JOB!)iGoogle4 favorite foods:General Tso's chickenMy dad's homemade lemonade piePimiento cheeseIce cream. Any ice cream.4 places I would rather be:O ...

MotherTalk Book Review - The Thirteenth Tale 2007-11-12 06:28:00 "A good story is always more dazzling than a broken piece of truth." Vida WinterWhen I was given a brief synopsis of this book, The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield, I immediately signed on; it sounded right up my alley.It's a story about a story, filled with half-truths, secrets, mysteries and scandal. LOTS of scandal. Definitely my kind of book. Conjoined twins, feral twins, death and sex and murder and mysterious disappearances, twisted love and even a smidge of romance.We have a young bookish girl who works in her father's bookshop and a reclusive, elderly author of 'popular fiction'.The author, Vida, has kept her past vague and mostly hidden...but as she comes to the end of her life she decides, once and for all, to bring forth the truth--but in her own way. Vida chooses Margaret Lea (who has no particular fame other than a well-researched, well-written biographical essay) to record Vida's life story. As Margaret hears the story, her own story becomes entwined with Vida ...

Word Picture Sunday! Yeah! 2007-11-11 06:47:00 Join in the fun...don't forget to put your link in the Mr. Linky box so that everyone may come and admire your handiwork!Now unroll your blogroll and grab a thesaurus--it's time for WORD PICTURE SUNDAY!The rules are quite simple:1. Pick a name from your blogroll2. Think of a single word that you feel describes that person3. Open an IMAGE SEARCH engine, type in the word, and find the picture that fits.4. Post the blog, word, and picture.See how easy? Many of our blogrolls have lots of the same names, so I'll be very interested to see what words YOU come up with for those people.This week's feature is Brian from An Audience Of One. He's a fellow Okie and a very dear friend with whom I've been fortunate enough to spend Real Life time--it was difficult to narrow it down to a single word. Brian is just...bright. Intelligent, clear-thinking, kind, sweet, and thoughtful. He's a light in the darkness for many of us, including the kids that he works with every day.So the word I chose ...