How to Get Good Duck A collection of fascinating ramblings and conclusions. I mean fascinating. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 0 0 2 1027

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How to kill good duck 2008-01-21 02:10:00 The duck is leaving the building. Sort of. He's really just changing his name and moving to greener pastures, as ducks and cows tend to do.In order to not create too much work for or put too much pressure on myself (read: Irregularly updating ONE blog is enough, gawd forbid two...), I'm moving How to Get Good Duck over to www.andersporter.com. This way I can keep this incredibly insightful blog, some links to some of my other crap and an 'acquired taste' sampling of some of my writing all in one place.How to Get Good Duck will return one day, more than likely as a star-studded major motion picture. Until then, please check out www.andersporter.com when you have a chance. If you are subscribed to How to Get Good Duck, or are receiving email updates (yes, I'm talking to both of you), you might want to change your RSS feed or re-subscribe for email updates from andersporter.com.Thanks for listening and have a nice day.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop cultu ...

Can say lots in six words 2008-01-18 05:01:00 Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway was once challengedto write a story in six words. The result was"For sale: baby shoes, never used."- Smith MagazineA while back, Larry Smith and Smith Magazine asked readers to contribute to the site by offering up six word memoirs. The response was extraordinary and now Harper Perennial is publishing a book, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, available next month.I offered up my own, but I can't for the life of you tell you what I submitted, though it was undoubtedly ridiculous and corny and thus didn't make the book. Perhaps the following would have been better and appropriately descriptive:Do not remember what I wrote.In any event, you can check out this awesome video promo for the book and then purchase it here.Tags:* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * SmithMag * Smith Magazine * Larry Smith * Smith * 6 words * Six Word Memoirs * 6 ...

Quit Bitching and Start Writing 2008-01-17 22:47:00 I remember thinking when the writers' strike started a few months ago: oh yeah, right - the Hollywood "strike tool"... they'll take a few days off from work, walk around the streets of L.A. wearing khaki shorts and sunglasses while they drink soy lattes from paper mugs... cell phone in one hand and picket sign in the other... and then it'll quietly go away: some sort of deal will be reached, and they'll take up their cushy little jobs again, wearing khaki shorts and sunglasses while they drink soy lattes from paper mugs...I am sort of happy to admit that I was wrong. I am glad that the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers has not given in yet, even though it seems fair to say that it is only a matter of time before they do.What really amazes me is the timing of all of this. The Internet now provides an open platform on which aspiring writers, actors, directors and producers can strut their stuff. And this stuff is, right now, as good if not better than what you see o ...

One love. 2008-01-17 02:15:00 Simple. Pure. Converse? Er... okay...Tags: * entertainment * pop culture * converse * converse ad * we * me * we me * bob marley * one love ...

Onions make me cry. 2008-01-11 23:08:00 If it weren't for the diligent reporting from The Onion, I'd have no idea what's really happening out there. Here are two fine examples of tell-all stories, telling all:In the Know: Are We Giving the Robots that Run Our Society Too Much Power?Poll: Bullshit is Most Important Issue for 2008 VotersSee more of this revealing coverage here.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat * conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * The onion * onion * videos * robots * debate * 2008 elections * clinton * bullshit ...

It Ain't Television... It's Brain Surgery 2008-01-11 04:43:00 I heard about this short film a couple days ago on NPR and had to check it out. The 20 minute-long film is very well done and is definitely worth watching. You can see the whole thing here.Suffering from Parkinson's Disease, Ray Farkas decided four years ago to undergo a procedure called Deep Brain Stimulation Surgery, a radical step that would, if successful, reduce some of the shaking that Farkas had been forced to endure due to Parkinson's. The brain surgery requires patients to be awake in order to control the accurate targeting of shake-reducing electrical stimuli. Farkas decided to do what other talented filmmakers would nervously shy away from: he filmed it.The procedure was a success, but Farkas unfortunately passed away on January 4 due to complications from colon cancer. The five-time Emmy award winner had an illustrious career in the documentary television world and is highly respected amongst peers and friends.His sense of humor and love of life is captured in the film a ...

snack attack 1.0 2008-01-09 10:00:00 I've released a beta (ha ha) version of my new podcast at thesnackattack.com. I've got some issues to sort out with the sound quality and editing and stuff, but it is available for download as an mp3, or you can listen to it on the player below. It should be available on iTunes in the next day or two as well.As soon as I get all the kinks ironed out, I'll be trying to podcast a few times a month (I'm steering clear of using the word "weekly." Scary.)If you have any comments or suggestions, or want to send me your favorite snacks to be crunched on the show, send an email to stillhungry (AT) snackattack.com.Enjoy- Powered by Podbean.com Tags:* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * snack * snacks * snacking * food * podcast * snack news * news * hungry * munch * crunch * lunch * eat some stuff ...

Cognitive psychology defined 2008-01-08 04:18:00 I just started reading Omega Minor by Paul Verhaeghen last night and came across this great entry about cognitive psychology:Cognitive psychology is a beautiful, never-ending enterprise. To lose yourself in the details of the mind, in phenomena that lasts for only a few milliseconds and then dissolve into the great melting pot of consciousness without leaving a trace, it's like trying to guess the number and function of the cogs of a tiny machine encased in a steel box that has been welded shut, just by shaking it. There's a warning sticker on the outside of the mind: Warranty void if opened. No user-serviceable parts inside. Yes, this is the life! This is the real deal; it's like getting a chemistry set for Christmas , but someone forgot to include the instructions.Fantastic!Tags:* entertainment * pop culture * Omega Minor * Paul Verhaeghen * Verhaeghen * books * book review * cognitive psychology * psychology ...

Why I Heart Huckabee 2008-01-07 01:31:00 I just sent off my absentee ballot today, and yes, I am on the Obamawagon it seems. The funny thing is that when you look at the list of names of Democrats running, all in one little tiny list, with no color and no sound clips, Obama is (here we go again) the lesser of the evils. So there you have it.But this post is about Huckabee. I just can't stop thinking about that dude. He's whacky and loveable. (If you missed him on Leno, here's one and two.)The reason I like Huckabee is that he's the only one who will talk to me. Back in September, I sent off a list of 4 questions to each presidential candidate. All sent automated responses, a few came back with "sorry no time" standards, written by real people, and ALL of the democrats simply added my email address to their spamming lists. I now get six to eight emails daily from Obama and Edwards (combined) and an occasional one from Hillary. But only one dude actually answered my questions. That's right: Huckabee. They were answered thr ...

How to Get Good Tree 2007-12-21 15:03:00 So, today was the day, just a couple days before Christmas, when I finally got my act together (and found the time) to go out into my backyard and choose the tree that would hang out with me in my house over the holidays. This is how it all went down:Me with saw: ready to go.Bound to be some good trees down here.The first potentials - too close to the road, not WILD enough.the saw and the frostdistraction: more amazing frostagain: totally forgot what I was out here to do - blown away by the frostmaybe one of these guys is good enough...distracted again: ice crystals on the streammore ice on the streamright. back to the mission: could this be the one?And then there was this one: the perfect tree.what it looked like immediately after the killin the bathroom, freshing up, er, defrosting...thawed out and finding its place in the corner of my living roomwith lightsand with all the dressing.That's how I got mine.How did you get yours?:-)Merry Christmas ...

2007-8 Icehotel opens in Schweden 2007-12-13 10:30:00 The Icehotel celebrates St. Lucia Day tonight and the Absolut Icebar opens tomorrow night, which means that after that: it's all good. Come on in... chill out. Hee hee. Ho ho.I was up there last week and wrote this article, focusing on two pairs of artists and the overall concept and construction of the hotel.To see some more random shots of work in progress, check out my flickr account.Enjoy!Tags:* entertainment * pop culture * Icehotel * ice hotel * ice * Jukkasjärvi * Sweden * Lucia * St.Lucia * Christmas * opening * Absolut * Icebar * Ben Rousseau * Jai Drew * Liliya Pobornikova * Viktor Tsarski * cold * hotel * crazy bastards ...

Mitt Romney leading in the polls 2007-12-01 04:55:00 At least in this poll:Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat * conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * mitt romney * bar fight * drunk * clinton * edwards * kerry * poll * election ...

R U IMing 2 ? 2007-11-29 03:13:00 Time Magazine recently reported that:43% of US teens say that they use instant messaging (IM) to express something they wouldn't say in person.22% of teens sat that they use IM to ask people out or to accept dates.13% of teens use IM to break up with people.I wonder what the latter ends up looking like... Maybe: I H8 U ... ? or I LOL @ U? No, turns out it can be done with a simple FUJIMO, defined in its polite form here.Here and here are (way too long) lists of the abbreviations that the kids are using to dump each other and ask each other out. I am assuming that when they "go out" they take their handhelds with them, so that they can continue to communicate.I am such an OM.Dude.Tags: * comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * IM * instantmessaging * chat * date * teenagers * break up * dump * time * time magazine * fujimo ...

Rudy and the child molester: A vaudeville show in countless acts 2007-11-28 23:17:00 A while back, I gave US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney a hard time. While I still have no plans to support the guy, on the Republican side, he's starting to look like an angel compared to this idiot:This shot is of Giuliani, in his customary pin-stripe wiseguy costume (complete with super-shiny teflon tie), seen with Alan Placa, a high school/college buddy and longtime good friend of Giuliani's. Placa, whom Giuliani employs as a consultant at Giuliani Partners, is also an accused child molester. The Suffolk County Grand Jury Report (Placa is "Priest F") can be seen here and you can scroll through more pictures of the two thugs here.As an attorney (the media has often referred to him as a "wolf in sheep's clothing"), Placa has worked defending and covering up allegations against, you guessed it, other priests accused of the same crimes... His litigation is said to have saved the church hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah, he's another good one to have on your side, Mr. G.Wha ...

Size apparently matters 2007-11-21 04:32:00 Time's best inventions of the year came out late last month and everybody knows that the iPhone topped the list. Tell us something we didn't already know, right?Well, there are a bunch of other great inventions, including these "stackable car" things that will make borrowing a car in a city as easy as borrowing a bike. And then there's these really funky shoe/sandal things from Vibram.But what really got to me in the review of the other best inventions by Time magazine was this sentence, which I have now read about 300 times:The new 45-nanometer Core processor is so compact, you could fit 2 million of its transistors on the period at the end of this sentence.This sentence is referring to the new Intel Core processor that is due out by the end of the year. And it either makes perfect sense to you or it doesn't. You can probably guess which group I'm in. Let's look at it again:The new 45-nanometer Core processor is so compact, you could fit 2 million of its transistors on the peri ...