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Articles from Emotional Fiddler

10:00 pm | gibberish views about the internet 2006-04-02 22:41:00 At last, I moved the computer to a more not so convenient location. At my right is a glass of Coke. I can hear from the radio beside it a familiar oldie. I love you more than you’ll ever know… i’ll love you more than you’ll ever see… More than my heart could ever show… I love you more than you’ll ever know… What’s the title of this song? Anyway, at my left is my closet. It’s an awkward positioning of things here, you know. Posted at the wall are the poster from Metropolitan Theatre Guild Asia’s Romeo & Juliet, and two pictures one of which bore my Lola’s portrait while the other one bore my whole body and my three sisters’ shot, I think, seven years ago, I don’t know. At kung hindi man dumating sa’kin ang panahon… Na ako ay mahalin mo rin… Asahan mo ako’y di magdaramdam… Kahit ako ay nasasaktan… Wag mo lang ipagkait na ikaw ay aking… Mahalin… ... Internet

10:00 pm | first date 2006-04-01 22:40:00 It’s been twenty-four hours ago since the beginning has started. Exactly 10 pm last night, a full transformation transpired. But before that many things preluded the event… (please favor me one thing: I’ll write the following in Filipino.) Pasado alas-sais nung tinawagan niya yung friend ko. Gusto niya daw silang magkita. So, sabi nung friend ko gusto din daw niya. Una, gusto niya sa Shangri-la pero sabi nung friend ko hindi niya alam dun (kasi naman tatanga-tanga siya). Sabi nung friend ko sa Megamall na lang. Kaso mahihirapan daw sila kasi nga wala namang phone yung friend ko. Mahirap nga naman kasi hindi nila malalaman kung eto na ba siya at kung nasaan na ba ang isa’t isa. Gusto na niyang makita yung friend ko saka uuwi siya ngayong weekend sa Bulacan kaya mas gusto niyang magkita na sila nung friend ko. Sabi sa’kin nung friend ko excited na nga daw siyang makita itong kaibigan niya na tumatawag-tawag na sa kanya mula pa nung Wednesday. Gusto na nga n ...

6:30 pm | pulling the wool over my eyes 2006-03-30 22:38:00 I feel tipsy as drunken. Just gotten out of bed… I slept for just an hour but I feel like drowzing. This day is such a boring one. I did nothing but played Age of Empires. It’s becoming addictive. Yesterday, after the exhaustion of going to school to find out that they are not letting the students in, Gabriel and I went to my house. He sort of helped me in playing AOEII: The Age of Kings, since I am not really that good with it cause I was used on playing the trial version of the AOE: The Rise of Rome and of AOE II. It was great to know that I am playing this game again. This is really my favorite strategy game. Gabriel borrowed my CD then he returned to school. So, it looks like I am playing this enthusiastic game for 48 hours already. Ah, I need to quit this game. I need to lessen up the consumption of my time with this stupid game typing stupid cheats, and trying the resolve the problems of Joan of Arc and Gengis Khan. It’s a real-time strategy game… Then t ...

1:03 am | ang pakpak man may isip din 2006-03-29 22:37:00 lumilipad, tumitinginang aking payak na isipandumurungaw sa kawalankasabay ang hihip ng hangin.silang dalawa ay mahalaga sa akinkailanma’y wag mong aagawinhindi mo alam aming mga pinagsamahankung sasabihin ko pa’y aabutan tayo ng umaga.ano ba itong pananagalog ko?hindi ba’t dapat ingles ang gamit ko?umaga na ngunit nandito pa rin akomabuti kayang matulog na ako? ...

11:42 am | absorbing gaiety 2006-03-28 22:36:00 Everything seemed to be perfect today. I just feel an awesome ego today that I’ve never experienced for the past weeks. I wonder what’s happening at my school today. Though it is a hot Tuesday morning, and even though I am not yet taking a bath, I still feel a gaiety maybe because there’s no more thing to worry. I know I still have to consider some other things about school stuffs but I don’t care yet. I have a radio beside my pc and it is boosting with wonderful songs. Go Manuel! ...

9:20 am | the girl named joan 2006-03-28 22:35:00 I do not want to start this post by telling you how I got up from bed or how I had eaten my breakfast. It’s another day to waste in front of this computer. It’s another day of pondering my thoughts. As my mantra goes, it’s another day to stare. Yesterday was really a hard day for me. I haven’t even told you everything yet. Yesterday, Joan and I went to Megamall and found many stuffs there. For me, it would be easier if there will be no more redundancy about what happened yesterday. Just wanna tell you, pipz, that I really enjoyed it. Joan and I were friends since first year. Actually, she was my seatmate when we were just Freshmen. During the first day of class, our adviser, Ms. Salmorin, challenged us to know the names of each of our classmates. We have to know names and then when somebody’s called he has to point out who’s who. And so, I asked the girl in my right her name and she said “Joan”. She returned my question and I answered &ld ...

10:00 am | missing e-heads 2006-03-28 22:35:00 Yes. There are these songs that are killing me. Killling me because I miss them. Every single hit of Eraserheads… my all-time fave band. Alapaap, With A Smile, Magasin, Insomnia, Waiting for the Bus, Ang Huling El Bimbo, Minsan, Sa Wakas, Overdrive, Huwag Mo Nang Itanong sa Akin, Kamasupra, Superproxy, Cutterpillow, Kailan, Harana, Sino Sa Atin, Saturn Returns, Bogchi Hokbu, Casa Fantastica, May Sumasayaw, 68 Dr. Sixto Antonio Ave, Tindahan ni Aling Nena, Spoliarium, Pula, Tikman, Sa Tollgate, Run Barbie Run, Maskara, Shirley, Kaliwete, Sembreak, Hey Jay, Kananete, Alkohol, Poorman’s Grave, Bato, Wishing Wells, Butterscotch, Paru-Parong Ningning, Yoko, Walang Nagbago, Julie Tearjerky, Back2Me, Torpedo, Slo Mo, Fine Time, Playground… I want to here all of them. I want to burn CDs. If only they are still existing (as if they’re creatures… tsk), I would surely be “avid” just for them. ...

10:08 pm | my busiest day with joan 2006-03-27 22:34:00 I woke up late but didn’t get in a hurry going to school. As I was entering the campus, many students were outside their respective classrooms, some were just sitting in the benches, some were just standing with the peers, some just wanted to roam, some were so noisy, some still. It’s official. It’s the beginning of the end. Five days to go before the official END. I was about to go to our classroom in IR when it came to my mind that it seemed that our classroom (viewed from afar) was closed. So, it meaned to say, that my classmates are there in the Computer Bldg. I drove the way to the flights of stairs in the right side of the building to find out that the gate is closed. I went downstairs to go to the other side of the building and took a flight of stairs to find out, again, that there was no way up since the gate is closed. (11:08 pm - continuation) …I even see the two rear sides of the building but still, the gates were closed. I opted to enter in the fron ...

6:02 pm | an empty stomach 2006-03-26 22:33:00 My tummy’s whomping. I want to eat but I do not want to go downstairs yet. I want to eat but I am too lazy. Here I am again continuing my rantings. Joshua’s blog upset me, but I am not blaming him for it is not really his fault. I have just read his blog wherein his saying that he is just staring at the screen of his computer… that he’s doing nothing but staring. It says he has nothing to write about. I am upset. I was disturbed by his blog. But still, I am proceeding on what I am writing right now. Even though, as he have said, there’s nothing to write about… The thingamabob is disturbing my mind. It’s no longer the blog of Gus. The culprit is the thingamabob. I feel dizzy. Actually, I always am. Contemplating what’s inside my mind, I am becoming thin-skinned. Too sensitive. Right now, I cannot say a thing. I am hungry. My tummy is screaming, begging for something. I am becoming more conterminous with the authors of the blogs I am read ...

4:08 pm | love is magical 2006-03-26 22:33:00 Many people mistakes the meaning of the word love. Prior to that, some words are being associated with love such as crush, passion, fondness, affection, and liking. “Crush” is used to describe somebody’s strong feeling of attraction toward a person with whom he or she is not having a relationship. It is used especially to talk about teenagers and young people. Of course, I am usually having a crush with those who really are head-turners. And since I am still a tweener, I am accustomed on hearing this person having a crush with someone which is connected to this somebody who is also the crush of this person. On our class, we usually use the term “pagsilay” (peeks) when it comes to girls who often take quick or secret look to their crushes. I never have done such thing as “pagsilay” but I do peek to some–the crushes of my friends especially the four girls… not to mention their names. I usually call their crushes’ names when we enco ...

1:52 pm | from pancakes to souls 2006-03-26 22:32:00 I woke up frustrated with that noisy whacking of the hammer caused by the carpenter who was inside the room to fix the closet. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Anyways, it’s okay since I slept early–yes, early–last night. And it was still night, not some midnight. I was eating pandesal when my aunt came. She usually go here during the weekend to wash her laundries. Then she asked for breakfast. I hailed a tricycle to bring me to the the end of the street. The i walked some hundred meters to Jollibee. I bought pancakes and pies. My aunt asked me to buy that small cake in Goldilocks yet Rustan’s was not yet open that time. Instead of just two pancakes, I bought three–so that I’ll eat two! Four pies, a Coke, a Sarsi, and a hot chocolate. Going home, I rode a tricycle from there and paid fifteen bucks. On my way, a neighbor asked me, “Jonell, birthday mo ba?” I said nope. The he uttered “Nakakataba ‘yan kung puro na lang Jollibee!” I was abou ...

10:10 pm | longing for the thing called happinessIs 2006-03-25 22:31:00 Is it time to dissipate time staring at this magical screen? Life is so full of ups and down. This cliché reflects everything about me save for the fact that I am always on the lower part of the wheel of life. How can you be happy if you lack caress from your family? How can you be happy if you lack the attention you ought to have? How can you be happy when once in a while, people around you misunderstand you? I realize that I am in a total melancholic state. I want to be happy but life itself is hindering my longing. I have to live life without my parents–that’s the thing I can puke on. Everytime I see loving families which are not broken, which are happy together, I always tend to get jealous. Life taunts happiness in me. All I ever wanted is happiness and no cost can buy the happiness I desire. I am living a life I never wished to have yet I am glad that there are still people who care for me. What if I die tonight? Will people cry for me? When will people eat crow just ...

12:53 pm | an idle hope of dreaming 2006-03-25 22:31:00 Right now, I am feeling having a forty winks. I don’t want to loathe sleeping in the afternoon. I haven’t done taking a nap for ages save the times I sleep during my Math class. What time did I sleep last night? 2 am? Jeez! Why do I always sleep awfully late? I spend so much of my time in front of this magical screen, thumping on the keyboard, musing scrutinies. By now, I am making clinches with a pillow for no definite reason at all. I am at a total zilch. I really want to sleep. I want to do what I wont to be doing when I was a child. I am feeling dizzy, not only because of my desire but because of the fact that it’s been ages since I left my PC. I feel like my eyes are soon to pop. Just want to puke, again, for no definite valid reason. I’m more of a drunken employee who had just been fired and is trying to resolve his life by drinking rums and vodka. Yeah, it’s nice when you are on your bed, hugging your ever-flinched pillows, lying on a field of memor ...

11:20 am | preoccupied by blandness 2006-03-25 22:30:00 So what? The school days are coming to an end and so I am free on anything annoying and I can proudly say that I am a not-so-free-of-quagmire type of person right now. I do not want to think about being demoted for the next school year. I mean, so what? SO WHAT? From section two to section four? Or to section five? Out of the pilot class! Yipee! Of course I do not want to leave section two. But there are these certain circumstances impeding us. It is really hard, you know, being the pilot class, the alleged “cream of the crop” and next year’s honor roll. Blimey! I will miss each and everyone of my beloved classmates. All of them. Everyone of them had been–in a little such way or not–a part of my life. It’s time for us to eat. I’ll return. ...

1:20 am | daily routines 2006-03-25 22:26:00 One week to go before the viciousness of high school life will pause for a while to give way to what people call “vacation”. Third year seems to be short. Parang kelan lang… as the maxim goes. Entering the gate to see inspective security guard. Never had the policy of No ID no entry. Proper uniform required. If ever you bring something like a player or a guitar inside the campus, you have to sign on the record book. What’s the purpose of that? The security guards were always being insouciance and I really can’t help it. If it is a Monday morning, then of course there would be a Monday Flag Raising Ceremony. If the classes are regular, I have to go to the Main Building, run some flights of stairs, go the Computer Lab at the Third Floor for my first class: Computer Education I. I remember the first day of classes. IR building was new to me as well as the ambience. The aged three-storey building became the foundation of my day-by-day quandary. And so I have ...