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Articles from Emotional Fiddler

3:05 am | answer the phone when it rings 2006-04-09 22:51:00 “Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore - while I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.” – Edgar Allen Poe It’s innate to me to watch television before going to bed. This time I’ve been up until twelve in the midnight. A quarter of an hour passed before I went to bed. Then another quarter of an hour passed as I was trying to fall asleep. Then, the phone rang. I wonder who it was. I hurriedly went downstairs and heard a not so familiar voice. “Hello, pwede po kay Jonell?” he uttered. “Sino ‘to?” I asked, still wondering who the heck the caller is. “Si Matthew po,” he said. “S-sino?” I smattered abundantly. “Si Matthew po, friend niya–” It took me a minute or two before I finally realized that I was talking to Matt whom I usually chat ...

3:35 pm |that’s what you call handsome 2006-04-08 22:50:00 The grand winner of the Mr. Pogi 2006 in Eat Bulaga was a fellow schoolmate of mine. I didn’t even realized that he’s a Rizalian. I watched the whole competition and have no wonder why he won. My aunt and his husband was here earlier and we ate lunch together. My aunt catapulted so many comments about each contestant and I inaudibly agreed on what she was saying. It blasted on me that not all of the handsome guys really have what it takes to be called a Mr. Pogi. A right Mr. Pogi must showcase the guts, the talent, the confidence, and the self-effacement. It’s not just about knowing how to act, how to sing, or how to dance, it’s about being yourself and trusting on what you can do. The search like any other search in television doesn’t necessarily do this kind of contest just for its audience, for the ratings, what is important is neither the prize nor the money which is innately easily spent, but the consumate ease engraved in the heart of each one who tr ...

2:30 am | ever wished you want to sleep 2006-04-08 22:50:00 “To sleep, perchance to dream…”– William Shakespeare, from Hamlet Okay, so what time is it, silly Manuel? Aren’t you going to have a sleep? Too much sleep-deprived… I wish d_t is fine. I miss d_t so much. But for now, I have to go to sleep or else my eye bags will get pregnant by next week if I’ll not sleep early on the following days. Alright, I promise that this will be the last time this vacation that I’ll be up this late. Seal my word, please. I’ll sleep after Encantadia, okay? I’ll never be sleepless again…yipee. And I’ll try to take afternoon naps, as well. Good night, folks! ...

5:30 pm | sleep-deprived? ube macapuno’s the remedy 2006-04-07 22:49:00 “O, come, gentle night,O, come, loving, black-brow’d night,Give me my Romeo. And when he diesTake him and cut him out in little starsSo that all the world will be in love with nightAnd pay no worship to the garish sun.”– William Shakespeare, from Romeo & Juliet Need to sleep, right? Why should I frantically think about letting the radiant glory of the morning down and worship the dim night with jauntiness and frenzy? I can’t think about anything to do but to sleep. Last night, I slept very late and my sleep-deprivation is getting more intense. I’ve read a couple of Jayce’s post and it really touched me–the way he wrote his father’s death, and the two voices he’s hearing (Satur and Angelito)–o, now, I get it! SATur and ANGELito… ah, okay. Now, I’m craving for a pearl shake. I’m getting hungry. I lacked sleep, I lacked food. What else? Let me depressurize this situation. I’ll go out and buy a p ...

4:32 pm | childhood friends 2006-04-07 22:49:00 “Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to sufferThe slings and arrows of outrageous fortuneOr to take arms against the sea of troubles.”– William Shakespeare, from The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark “Uy! Mamansin ka naman!” (Hey, notice me. I’m here!) I wasn’t expecting her to become aware of me. I bought food from a burger stand and as I was walking, I came up across her. She appeared to be the same Liz I knew–a pretty, witty girl who was my childhood best friend. Thinking about it, it’s hard to think that I do not want to remark her as the old friend I knew, the one I was with everytime, the one I played Mario with on her room, the one I knew as a nice playmate… All was ruined by a family problem–a total collapse of the foundation. I also miss her sister, Dianne, who became my best friend also when I was still young. I played a chess game with his brother.. They were there when I was sick and had no place to go ...

1:00 am | noche toledana 2006-04-07 22:47:00 “To me fair friend you can never be old,For as you were when first your eye I eyed,Such seems your beauty still.”– William Shakespeare, from Sonnet 104 As I was sitting here in front of the computer, as I was listening to the radio and reluctantly trying to enter letters without looking at the keyboard and without the aid of any lights, I came up on realizing something that I cannot deny. I miss tresdos–my beloved classmates. Tresdos because we’re third year, section two (III-2)… I miss each one of them and those moments with them. I want to ignore my tummy this time because I am missing my classmates so much that nothing can replace this yearning. Each one of them had been a part of my life. Most of them made great impact on my life. Okay, so I give up, I am eating ref cake right now. I can’t see what I am eating; it’s too dim. I have realized that I am starting to betray the daylight for the nth time since I seem to be praising the nig ...

11:45 pm | not a computer expert 2006-04-06 22:47:00 “Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.”– John F. Kennedy Call me an addict, please. I do not know how to stop this vice. It is wicked because I mostly spend most of my time with this habit. Blogging. And this afternoon, I went to Study Net to–what else–surf the net. I was there at around 4 pm and I went home about half-past seven. What have I done? In chat, I met a new friend named–what’s her name again, I can’t recall, I think it’s Christine. For the first time, I saw Julius being on-line. I was surprised (yeah, really) that his three Yahoo! Messenger IDs were all open at the same time. Because of him I somewhat knew Jayce and also Gus. I just don’t want to ramble things up on what can I say to these three great people. Yep, I consider them great and honestly, I’d learned so many things just because of keeping in touch with their web logs. Jayce has the greatest impact to me; his type of writing doesn&rsq ...

3:10 pm | a sonant mind 2006-04-05 22:46:00 I can hear every little sound this empty brain is possessing. Too bad–there’s no more tear that can be yielded from this animosity. There’s no more arrow to shot at my heart. My fearful mind is incessantly producing endless emotional torment causing angst-ridden agony that seems to be belittled. My sonant mind, saying that all Manuel ever wanted is to be happy, is disparaged by an awful lot of goading voices reverberating blandly…too many impediments… Is it reality or is it just a mere impractical idea? My sonant mind is speaking. Please listen to it… ...

8:00 pm | exasperated by a phone call 2006-04-05 22:45:00 I don’t want to be the sweeper of the eggshells that you walked uponAnd I don’t want to be your other half I believe that one and one make two–Not The Doctor, Alanis Morissette The phone rang and I never expected somebody else’s call right now. It was Josan–the one who Pamela has been telling me a long time ago and who was introduced to me lately. I was appalled to know that Martin, my best friend’s ex, is her best friend. And she said that I was the one who passed on the rumors about Martin and Shiela (also a friend of mine, classmate last year) being together, especially during the Foundation Day. Apparently, this girl is blaming me, indirectly, with the break-up between my best friend and her’s. It let me contemplate with what had happened for the last one year. Okay, Martin became the boyfriend of Joanne then because of certain circumstances they broke up. and about the thing regarding Shiela, I wasn’t the first one to notice what goi ...

11:00 pm | they really are best friends 2006-04-05 22:45:00 And as I leaveI know that I am leaving my best friendA friend who taught me right from wrongAnd weak from strong that’s a lot to learnWhat can I give you in return?–To Sir With Love, Susanna Hoffs I do not know how to start. I am inducing myself to recall every little thing that happened against getting to the brink of my thoughts. There’s something else that is haunting me right now more than anything else I can think of–they fooled me again. It’s becoming more of a game. And it’s breaking my heart. I was honest to the both of them though, they did it to me. They did many things that caused torrential pain on my part. I never wished these things to happen. As I was talking to the girl earlier over the phone, I can’t help but cry yet I didn’t because I was afraid to face the fact that they fooled me. I was honest but then what was the result of my honesty? They made a fool out of me. Why did I behave spontaneously? I repent being honest t ...

5:30 pm | yesterday, i cried 2006-04-05 22:44:00 “Yesterday, I cried.I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.I cried because hurt has no place to goexcept deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.”–Iyanla Vanzant’s Yesterday, I Cried For four hours, I was unceasingly crying. Why? I don’t know. Maybe, it’s the only thing atypical with me lately. I always wanted reasons for everything but this one is very different. I cried because of everything, though, I still don’t know the reason why I did it. I cried with both guns blazing and it lasted until I was able to sleep. I was crying with emblazed anguish inside my heart, full of wretchedness and emotional distress, full of platonic dreams and wanting occurences. I wetted my cuddlesome pillow with every bit of tear flaming the pillowslip. And one more thing is that I miss the most special person I ever had, the one I ...

5:15 pm | the new phenix 2006-04-05 22:43:00 “O, hereWill I set up my everlasting rest,And shake the yoke of inauspicious starsFrom this world-wearied flesh.”–William Shakespeare’s Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, Act 5 Scene 3 Thirty days passed so quickly that I haven’t even noticed that the change must happen right now. It would go on with the flow of the changes that occured since the door of this month opened with a big arms for me. Thirty days ago, the blue fire sparked its beginning with a loud bang assuming that the phoenix will feel the happiness he is yearning for for a long time. There must be a tangible change. And one of those changes includes this. Please welcome the brand new Manuel that changed ever since Dust came to his life. Welcome to my newest world wherein I will paint every little moment spent: the anxiety, the jauntiness, the sorrowness, and the pain will all be painted incessantly. The sparks of the blue fire had rested already. But the phenix itself ...

7:15 pm | isang milyon isang libo sandaan labin-isa 2006-04-04 22:43:00 isa dalawa tatlohiwa-hiwalay na ba tayo?tatlo dalawa isasaan na tayo patutungo?isa sampu sandaanpaano na ang naging pagsasamasandaan sampu isabinalot ng kalungkutan at sayaisa-isang mawawalayat hindi na muling babalik paisa-isang papanawang pakikipagkaibiganisa-isang hindi malilimutanang lahat ng naukit na alaalaisa-isang babalikanang mga pinag-usapanisa-isang tatanawinang bawat susunod na bukasat isa-isang ibabaonang mga poot ng kahaponisang bagay langang aking ituturansalamat sa lahatng aking mga naging kaibiganmagkahiwa-hiwalay man tayoay di matatawaran ng kahit anoang ating mga pinagsaluhangpighati at pakikipagtunggalimga karanasan at karahasanmga guro at mga libromga asal at pagdarasalmga gago at mga bobomga pikon at mga mabahomga cute at mga guwapomga paninilay at paniniramga panghihipo at mga pambubuyosa bawatisaisaatisa dalawa tatloisa sampu sandaanisa libo milyon…na pasasalamat.sa inyong lahat. ...

10:00 pm | higit pa 2006-04-03 22:42:00 mahal kitawalang ibasana ay ganun din ang iyong pakiramdammahal kitawalang ibaganito lang talaga ako kung magmahal mahal kitawalang ibamahal na mahal kita kung alam mo lang mahal kitawalang ibasana’y bukas na para kapiling na kita mahal kitawalang ibasana’y ‘di ito isang panaginip lamang mahal kitawalang ibasalamat at ikaw ay aking nakilala at dahil mahal kitang talagapangako kong mamahalin kitahigit pa sa ‘yong inaakala10:25 pm mga paabakit dati’ypansin ko paang bilisng takbong panahonngunit mulangnakilala kitatila mabagal naang takbong panahonkailan lilipasang araw na itokailan bubukàsang takbong panahonnais ko lamangmakapiling ang taongpinakamamahal kona malayo man sa’kinay hindi balakidang takbong panahon. * * * 10:35 pm dateang suot mong polo shirt,ang bitbit mong bag na dickiesang phone na may cameraat ang iyong kaopisinaang burger, ang resiboang pinagpalitangsuot sa brasoang tagpuan, ang usapan,ang kinamulatangpagmamahalanang aking mga ...

1:25 am | can anybody tell me where d_t is? 2006-04-03 22:41:00 It’s been almost two and a half hours since I was waiting for d_t’s call. Negative. But I am still waiting for a call. D_t told me last night that he’ll call me up this evening. Negative. Is d_t thinking of me right now? I don’t know. I hope so. Because me? I am awfully thinking of d_t… Ho hum! I wish I have a cellphone. Please, heaven, send me down a cellphone so that I can contact my loved one. Can anyone bother to give me a cellphone? What kind of life is this? I need a cellphone. It’s just now that I have realized that I really need a cellphone–not only for riding the trend right now but to assure what’s happening with my loved one. How are you d_t?…wish you’re okay… Ho hum! Wahhhh! I need a cellphone. Where are my parents? Gimme a cellphone. Wahhh! I’m getting stupid right here. I need to know what’s happening with d_t. D_t, where are you? Are you already home? Are you now sleeping, getting ready for ...