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Articles from Emotional Fiddler

The looking glass. 2007-02-27 03:51:06 Cold air, darkness, and unpredictable havoc covered the moonless night. I found myself stranded on a quiet forest that is apparently abandoned by Mother Nature. In a moment, I came up to the realization that I am lost… One thing for sure is that one can’t find me on a library browsing Science books. It’s not that I hate Science; matter-of-factly, I loved Physics I when I was on my third year and recently, I am enjoying my Advanced Chemistry class. Though I am not affliated with Science in any way, I want to pursue a dream with its help–a dream that can be considered worthy if given consideration and attention. I am no inventor but I want to create a tool which could help a lot of people experiencing the same problem as mine. With sparks of magic and morsels of gargantuan amount of effort and patience, time wil come that I would have the blueprint I am perceiving. I’m not after the impressions and marvels of people; all I want is to help myself and to help ...

Silliness. 2007-02-26 04:28:37 PREVIOUSLY: Wetted teardrops. I cannot deny the truth that I long for something to fill the void inside me. As I have said, I am a snobbish girl who consider enemies as enemies and treat friends as friends alike. I do not declare the emptiness I have to the people around me especially to those who merely judge me without hearing the words that come out of my mouth. I have no one to consider as my best friend. Nobody takes me as theirs too. I don’t care. It’s a silly thing for me. Call me vain or anything. That’s the truth I always uphold. ...

Wetted teardrops. 2007-02-25 04:43:40 PREVIOUSLY: The umbrella. As I was walking along the corridors, I suddenly noticed this girl, sitting on a bench, crying, alone. With my inept talent of explaining why things go, I don’t know what made me approach her. The sunset’s grandeur leaped unto her burden as I advanced. As she looked to see who was coming, I swiftly realized that she is a friend of mine. I sat beside her; as I was about to ask why was she crying, she hugged me. In a while, she told me that she found out that her boyfriend had been with another girl; thus, she had insisted a break-up with his week-old boyfriend. It was a tough job for her since she really loves the guy. For seven days, she gave herself to him, she apparently showed him how much she loves him. But in that circumstance, it was truly painful to admit that she was fooled. With this situation, it came up to my mind that you could not be so sure in all of your decisions in life. In her case, she had dreamt to be with her boyfriend for a very long ...

Ang Kahalagahan ng Pagiging Seryo. 2007-02-24 09:50:14 I arrived at the University of Asia and the Pacific at around 7:40 pm. After lending my ID to the security guards, I hurriedly had my way. The corridors were so dim-lighted but that did not turn out to be a predicament on my going to Telengtan Hall. It was my second time to go there after watching “Art” last September 2006 on the same venue. Upon having my seat reservation stub (seat LC1), an usher stamped Kultura’s logo on my right wrist. I sat down for some minutes until the door was opened for us to have our seats. I honestly enjoyed “Ang Kahalagahan ng Pagiging Seryo” albeit it was my first time to watch a play without any company. The play lasted for two laugh-stricken hours. It’s nice that I was not able to spend an hour or two on the library to read its English version (The Importance of Being Earnest) before watching the play. I thought I would not be able to watch it. Thank God! Before going home, I had my dinner at McDonald’s El Puebl ...

The umbrella. 2007-02-22 14:36:59 You would probably hate me. I have this loathsome attitude of being snobbish. I don’t respond to any passersby’s greeting. I would merely walk along the corridors without the tolerance shown on this sort of crap for I just talk to people I really want to talk to. Many people hate me and only a few of my classmates have the guts to converse with me on a day. Everyone thought that I would be like that for the rest of my life yet everything seems to be changing. It was a Thursday evening. I had no umbrella that time and so I had nothing else to do but to wait for the rain to end. The rain was so hard I can’t even wait for something magical to transpire. “Miss, do you need help?” – that sentence rumbled the silence of my dreams. I can’t believe someone has approached me. It was this tall guy offering me his umbrella. His voice was not infuriated; it was gentle as thin air. It was the first time I accepted a help. And for the least, it came from a guy. He accompanied me to the ...

A familiar voice. 2007-02-22 04:23:24 It’s innate to me to watch television before going to bed. This time I’ve been up until twelve in the midnight. A quarter of an hour passed before I went to bed. Then another quarter of an hour passed as I was trying to fall asleep. Then, the phone rang. I wondered who it was. I hurriedly went downstairs and heard a not-so-familiar voice. “Hello, pwede po kay Jonell?” he uttered. “Sino ‘to?” I asked, still wondering who the heck the caller is. “Si Matthew po,” he said. “S-sino?” I smattered abundantly. “Si Matthew po, friend niya–” It took me a minute or two before I finally realized that I was talking to Matt whom I usually chat with through YM. I remembered last time, about two weeks ago, that he said he’ll call me up when he has time. I wasn’t expecting his call since he didn’t promised me such. I didn’t even remember that I asked him last time if we can talk over the phone so ...

Swimming at Ace Water Spa. 2007-02-21 04:23:20 The “swimming thing” was along Del Monte Avenue near corner Banawe Street, Quezon City. We parked the car then entered the back entrance. We were already oriented on the do’s and do not’s and the expected things on Ace Water Spa. After paying at the counter, my aunt Ate Vivian gave each one of us, the pass, the headwear, and the locker key. There were still a lot of people so we decided to have dinner first. The lockers of male and female are separated, of course. Our footwares were taken at the entrance. Then, Tito Denver, Penpen (Tito Denver’s nephew) and I opened our respective lockers. I put there my things except my swimwear, my headwear, my key in my wrist, and my towel. I took a shower, then, there we were! Inside the full spectrum of aqua massage jets. The European concept of therapeutic spa utilizes “Ultrasonic Jet System” that massages specific areas of the human body and when combined with hear, it removes oils, fats and other non-es ...

Moving on. 2007-02-20 03:56:40 I have committed a million mistakes already. I don’t have to prove myself to everyone. I’m moving on. ...

My dear best friend. 2007-02-19 04:48:54 Dear Donna, alam mo, hindi ko naman kasalanang maging mabuting kaibigan sa iyo. wala naman akong ibang hinangad kundi ang maging isang tunay na kaibigan sa iyo pero kung gusto mo na talagang tuldukan at kalimutan ang lahat ng ating pinagsamahan… hay, mahirap para sa akin. gusto kong umiyak nang umiyak… matagal na akong nag-iisa. matagal na. pero nang dumating ka sa buhay ko, napasaya mo ako. pinuno mo ang puwang sa puso ko. iba ka sa lahat ng taong nakilala ko kaya ako ganyan sa iyo. iba lang talaga ako magpahalaga sa isang magandang pagkakaibigan. oo, sandali lang tayo naging magkakilala, at sa sandaling iyon masasabi kong naging malapit talaga tayo sa isa’t isa. kahit ako hindi ako makapaniwala. para bang ang bilis! natatandaan mo ba noong una kang umabsent sa school? para akong patay na bata. paano pa kaya ngayon na ayaw mo na akong kausapin, ayaw mo na akong kasama sa lahat ng bagay. ano na ngayon? mag-isa na ako. gusto mo na akong iwan. iniwan mo na ako. kung m ...

Buhay trumpo. 2007-02-17 10:23:59 ikasiyam ng setyembre, nakaraang taon. laman ako ng isang dambuhalang globo. ako ay natataranta sa pag-ikot nito. wala akong magawa kundi panoorin ang mga bumabagsak na bulalakaw mula sa langit. wala akong magawa kundi pakinggan ang mga nagsisipagtangis na kulog at kidlat na gumuguhit sa maamong anyo ng dagat. bakit ba mahirap pakinggang ang bulong ng araw na pumapaso sa bawat ugat ng aking nadarama? at bakit ba mahirap unawain ang katayuan ng mga talang nakadipa sa kalawakan? sa mundong ito, tayo’y pare-parehong nagbabago. nahahapo. napapata. napapagod. gutay-gutay tayong hihinga at mananaghoy. punit-punit tayong titindig at unti-unting lalayo. ...

One who knows best. 2007-02-16 10:00:02 One depressing night, I accused God of not loving me. Why? Because of unanswered prayer. I was counting on him, believing that I will get what I want as long as I believe I’ll have it. Moreover, I waited for it for almost half of my life. I spent a dull life with such agony that God is taking a nap every time I pray. And yes, I knocked as much as I could to discover that God didn’t want to open the door for me. It truly tore my heart. I have to admit that the unanswered prayer made me lose faith in Him. It turned me to question God if He did love me. If He did, then why did He snub my request? Ending: I didn’t put my trust on him. I forgot that God’s will is non-negotiable. And that is exactly why he does not answer us with just a mere YES… but with NO and oftentimes WAIT. We may not understand it fully, but that is His mystery. Never lose hope. God’s lawn has an endless number of daffodils. You are free to pick one—and that’s hope. He may not give you everything but ha ...

I fell in love. 2007-02-16 00:49:33 Staring at a long, narrow, quiet corridor with no company, just you. It’s what I always thought about talking to the Almighty One. Since He is a spirit, I often mistook it to be conversing to the subtle wind alone. I thought it is a stupid thing to “pray” because you have to close your eyes not to sleep but to have a conversation with someone you can’t see, you can’t feel and you can’t hear. But He Himself proved me wrong. One afternoon, I cuddled my pillow and cried having a feeling that I am alone and nothing can make me happy. Swiftly, a friend of mine asked my help to solve a problem between him and his girlfriend. After a couple of day, despite of the grudges I was bearing, I patched their relationship up and everything was fine again. Two lonely hearts were mended; two lovely people turned out to be happy again. I was surprised to learn that they were glad to have me in their lives. It seemed to be the first time I heard such compliment that would surely turn my life ...

Nervous breakdown. 2007-02-15 02:21:12 Before going to bed last night, I prompted myself to prepare for today’s graded recitation in my Filipino class. I had to memorize a passage from El Filibusterismo. I looked at Chapter 7: Simoun and found this very wonderful statement of Basilio: Ang karunungan ay siyang walang pagkatapos, siyang kagalingan ng katauhan, lalong laganap sa daigdig. Sa loob ng ilang daang taon, pag matalino na ang katauhan at nahango na sa kinalalagyan ngayon, pag wala nang mga lipi, pag malalaya na ang lahat ng bayan, pag wala nang busabos at bumubusabos, wala nang sumasakop at nasasakupan, pag ang katarungan ang siya nang nakapagmamayani at ang tao ay tinatawag nang mamamayan sa daigdig, ay wala nang matitira maliban sa pananalig sa karunungan, ang pag-ibig sa bayan ay maihahambing na lamang sa isang bulag na pananampalataya, at ang sinumang magparangal sa panahong iyon ng pagmamahal sa sariling bayan ay walang salang ikukulong na parang isang mapanganib na maysakit o isang mapanligalig sa lipunan ...

Bisikleta. 2007-02-14 04:56:24 Narinig ni Tita Denise, ang nanay ni Mariel, ang aking sigaw. Mula sa kusina ay pinuntahan niya ako sa kuwarto ng namatay kong kaibigan. Inabutan niya akong nakababa sa sahig at umiiyak. Ngayon niya lang ako nakitang umiyak ng ganito. Pinatahan niya ako ngunit walang nagawa ang pagyakap niya sa akin. Niyaya niya akong lumabas ng kuwarto. “May ipapakita ako sa’yo, Donna.” Pumunta kami sa store room ng bahay nila. Pagkabukas ng ilaw, sa makipot na silid na iyon ay ipinakita niya sa akin ang isang bagay na tiyak na nakapagpaalala sa akin kay Mariel. Ang bisikletang iyon… at ang pagkakaligtas sa akin ni Mariel. “Matuto ka ngang magbisikleta! Ang tanda-tanda mo na, hindi ka pa rin marunong sumakay diyan! Ilang linggo na kitang tinuturuan, Donna, hindi mo pa rin magawa. Pagtatawanan ka ng mga kaklase mo niyan.” Iyan ang naging banat sa akin ng tita ko nang minsang bumisita ako at ang best friend kong si Mariel sa kanya at naisipan niyang ipagpatuloy ang pagtuturo ...

Love poem and Sbarro. 2007-02-13 08:11:20 You fill the void inside my sordid self, And furnish my dreams, my heart you perfect. If I can only be with you tonight I will softly whisper my love to you, And hug you before rebels of sunlight, Kiss you as I believe you love me too. ...