Experiments In Mediocrity Small, obscure, nocturnal, dizzy and itchy; I tell weird stories and will give you my opinion on everything given the time. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 5 0 106 3536

Articles from Experiments In Mediocrity

Oh Elizabeth, I'm-a Comin'. 2008-02-03 21:33:00 I realize that saying is lost on many people who A) never watched TV in the '70s, '80s, and even now on Nick At Nite, for crying out loud! Or B) never watched TV. But it makes perfect sense to me, because I am delirious with the sickness.See, I invented my own dance for the Sanford & Son theme back before my first allergic reaction to penicillin, but after then, from the age of 3-ish and on, I was a mean, bitter person.However, when I have a high fever, oh man am I fun! I am more fun than I am when I've had a drink (sleeping) or after allergy drugs (crying on the bathroom floor clutching scissors and Epsom Salt).Like earlier, we were watching the figure skating, and there was a skater being fondled in the stands, and when he saw himself onscreen, he was all, "Blasted crumbs! Must brush all these off!" Then later they did a spot with him and he had 190 pulse and all and they were worried about him, and I was like, "HAHA, stay away from those girls in the stands!"You see?I could ...

Another Week And This Is All I Have To Show For It 2008-02-02 14:52:00 Last Saturday, we finally got to see Blade Runner: The Final Cut. I bought it with my Christmas money, for some reason I feel I need to explain how I'm allowed to have nice things, and this thing...it's nice. The movie was so clear I felt like I never saw it before. Fabulous.The U.S. National Figure Skating Championships were on all weekend, and that's one of the two skating events I still try to catch when it's on. Nice to see we've got some good skaters coming up, even though I only recognized about five of them and event hough two of the three female medalists can't go to the Worlds because they're too young to skate internationally or something. Would Mahai Nagasu spread the cute? Is that a danger? NBC has stolen the coverage from ABC Sports, and as a result they've now got ten different commentators, and Bob Costas, who keeps breaking into baseball jokes in a desperate attempt to stay macho. I wish I could laugh, but all I wondered was who would come out alive if B ...

A Rainy Friday. 2008-02-01 18:00:00 This is sort of how I entertained myself back in the day. I say sort of because I only had three of the five games featured in this Summer Games Suite, and also because instead of playing one person from one country, I would set up all eight, from different countries, and keep tallies, because you know how an ordinary Olympics runs about 16 days? Mine lasted about five years. Good times.Tags: February 2008, Epyx, Summer Games, Decathlon, video, video games©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

I Personally Can't Wait For The Chim Chim Fruit Gusher. 2008-01-30 14:27:00 ComingSoon.net is reporting that Speed Racer is going to be G-Rated. I'm a little confused by this, but I guess if Bambi can be G-Rated, so can a movie about race car drivers who engage in...car-fu.I still feel funny when I say car-fu.Plus Speed always had that G on his shirt, so this makes perfect sense. He's a G-rated boy, that Go Mifune.Looks like in addition to the Indy and Father of Indy Lego set I still can't get near, there will be four Speed Racer Lego sets. This is also making me feel funny.It's nice to know things can still make me feel funny after 30 years. The great thing is that now I can post about that feeling on the Internet and you all get to watch. Maybe great is the wrong word.But enough about my funny feelings, happy birthday (yesterday) to Peter Fernandez! That voice.... *sigh*Tags: January 2008, Speed Racer, movies, Lego, confessions©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

The Best Reason I've Heard. 2008-01-29 14:29:00 I guess real-life video cameras in the movies don't have image stabilization. Don't get me started.Tags: January 2008, humor, comics, Little Gamers, movies, Cloverfield, shaky-cam©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Another Day At The Unna Boot Factory. 2008-01-28 17:17:00 There are two nurses who remove Unna Boots on Monday. Two of the other clinic nurses have quit because they couldn't handle working at the clinic. You may leap to the conclusion I'm judging them, however keep in mind I can't stand up for more than two hours or I pay for it for a week, but I can't remember that because my brain fell out in 1988. No, I mentioned them only to contrast against the nurse that my mother thankfully didn't get...who handed the scissors to a patient to take off his own Unna Boot. You may recall people call those things casts.Four weeks back the vascular specialist who hasn't been seen again insisted he was the only person trained to put an Unna Boot on. Nurses have been putting them on my mother since then. I don't really mind that because you know and I know nurses have their shit together more than most doctors, but...I could buy Unna Boots on eBay. I'm just sayin'. It would cost less than the parking. And whatever mystery funds the hosiptal ...

Rabbit Hole Day, 2008 2008-01-27 15:18:00 The morning crowing of the cat alerted me that great big flakes were falling from the sky. In the street alone there were hundreds of strange people just piling up on the cars. I decided against my better judgement to make them cookies. The cookies sold rather well until some kid in Pensacola who just happened to have an allergy to people ate a whole tin of the cookies and broke out in hives so large they could be seen from orbit.Luckily, I was able to escape by climbing the hives, and stowing away aboard a passing UFO. Since the UFOs are classified, the manhunt for me was called off, and I spent my retirement making elaborate sandcastles for the cats and dog in a remote and undiclosed location somewhere in the general area of Nevada. When I needed some extra pocket change for shovels and pails, I decided to open a tea room called, "The Russians Aren't Behind The UFOs Tea Room," because I suck at naming things. Ironically, my tea shop was a smash success among conspiracy theori ...

Last Week, As Seen From One Day. 2008-01-27 15:09:00 I had planned to take last weekend off, just catch up on some shows I wanted to see, maybe sleep late, but then the weather turned cold and I was faced with unread mail, things to burn to disks, and it ended up being a usual weekend for me. No, I didn't get to my mail, or those shows, or those disks. I made case art and PaintShopped some craziness for Fark.Saturday, we watched Keeping Mum again, this time with my Mum, who guessed a glaring plot point right off the bat which, now that I've seen the movie from the very beginning, was bloody obvious. Doesn't take away from the wacky Britishness of it, and I still love it.The Fifth Element ran on TNT all last Sunday, so that was frikkin' fabulous. I could watch that...three times in a row, I guess. Even though they cut most of Ruby Rhod's scenes to the point where they made no sense. Sad. I'm rabidly anti-prude when I happen to like the thing being censored.We got The Confessor for Mum to see, and since I compared it to The Ro ...

Input Director made my day. 2008-01-25 17:31:00 Last night I felt rather crap, so as usual, I sat in front of Newsgator, scrolling past things for all infinity. I caught an article on Lifehacker about a program that lets someone with networked PCs to use the same mouse and keyboard over two or more computers.Now, I didn't need Input Director, but using it was way too much fun. I could run the mouse off the side of my old-ass Powerspec, and it would magically appear on the Dell with Vista! It works on Vista!So far, my only quibble is that, like The Matrix, if the mouse is in the Dell at shutdown, it dies in its host computer too. But that just teaches me not to go stick my input devices into things that are shutting down.Update: The hot-key combination designed to return control to the "master" computer works very well provided the user knows the difference between left and right. I'm just sayin'. If you're like me, the hot key can be changed to be any combination of keys.Tags: January 2008, computers, babble, Input Directo ...

Now I Get It, Don Henley. Now I Get It. 2008-01-23 14:41:00 Out on the road today I saw a Homestar Runner sticker on an Acura.Seriously.Tags: January 2008, music, Homestar Runner, cars, confessions©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

I Should Have Expected This. 2008-01-21 18:49:00 Microwaves, they have motors. Not quite the pitch of a vacuum, but a motor nonetheless.My dog hadn't eaten for two days because we'd put her dinner down, then go off to reheat bit of our own dinners, like the easy fries...easy fries are fabulous, you know. But the microwave, it terrifies The Puppy. She stands in the middle of the kitchen with her ears flat against her head, her tail bravely tucked between her legs, and she toughs it out, the terrible 15-second reheating of my noodles and cauliflower.Tonight, I knew it was dinnertime because The Puppy ran upstairs and tried to get under me.(She finally ate tonight, btw, don't worry. We made sure she ate long before we even opened the microwave door.)Tags: January 2008, microwave, dogs, family, pets©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Buy Art For A Good Cause 2008-01-20 13:35:00 Do you like dogs? Do you like art?Go to http://s-suzuki.blogspot.com/ and buy art for a good cause, Ripley needs her toofs fixed.Ripley's human is also, of course, on Etsy.http://ssuzuki.etsy.com/Tags: January 2008, art, etsy©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

4 Days, 7 Nights 2008-01-19 15:11:00 Last Saturday, we watched 16 Blocks, which Nan and I had seen, but wanted to show to Mum, who hadn't seen it with us...but had seen it another night. She just didn't want to mention that, because we'd said we didn't see the whole thing. We...kinda did. While the steadycam operators seemed to be on strike during the film, I'm not one to pass up a Bruce Willis movie and this one in particular reminds me that at least I don't have to drive in Manhattan.The Painted Veil (2006) reminded me that I'm lucky I don't live down river from cholera. Oddly, the sun bouncing off water and nuns had the same effect as a high speed action movie, and I think from now on I will need to watch movies where no one moves around on every second week of the month. All that aside, it was a good movie. Wash your hands and keep your pianos in tune, kids.On Monday we were promised a pummeling by the myriad snow fairies whose chain e-mail I did not forward. However, my own personal Ullr came through a ...

The Source Of So Much Entertainment 2008-01-18 16:09:00 A booming voice filled the house at the crack of dawn, a man screaming out of our answering machine that THE MICROWAVE! IS SCHEDULED FOR DELIVERY! TOMORROW! BETWEEN 11:30!Wait, what? Between 11:30? And 20 seconds? Some recording woke me up to give me a four-hour window that is only 60-seconds long.I wish we still had the message, I'd have played it for you...but when the machine says, "Press erase again to delete all messages," my mother takes that as a suggestion.So I guess that concludes the saga of the microwave. Unless like the dishwasher, it tries to kill us all after it's here.Tags: January 2008, microwave, Home Depot, silliness©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ... Entertainment

Now is your chance to laugh at me. 2008-01-17 14:37:00 Just like the gods do.I would prefer to be a vegetarian, you may know this already. My reasons are not important, but taking my meat-eating mother to grocery stores where blood then starts dripping out of the wagon because there are freshly killed cow parts in there may very well be one of those reasons.I'll leave that up to you to decide.Tags: January 2008, vegetarianism, meat, blood, gore, death, groceries©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...