Experiments In Mediocrity Small, obscure, nocturnal, dizzy and itchy; I tell weird stories and will give you my opinion on everything given the time. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 2 0 0 4371

Articles from Experiments In Mediocrity

This is my 20 minutes ago. 2007-05-23 09:27:00 American Idol has ended, and it's the first season I'll actually miss. Maybe it's because of all the allergy medication I'm on, maybe it's because this is the first year we all watched every episode, or maybe it was just better than all the other years. I don't know. I'm happy with the result, and I was happy the rights to the Beatles songs were finally released, and I was happy to see Sanjaya was still good even after I hadn't seen him in a while. They were all good. Green Day was incredible, and seeing Doug E. Fresh again damn near made me cry like Paula Abdul.Dancing With The Stars also ended fabulous for me, and that may also be for the reasons I rattled off up above but can no longer remember.I took my car for the yearly emissions inspection yesterday. I took my car for the yearly emissions inspection today, too. My car is, like its driver, a freak of nature. This thing that was made a long time ago, still functioning well enough to go out in public. In my one-gar ...

I've Lost My Drum! 2007-05-19 19:18:00 I've lost my Indian drum!This brings back memories.Tags: May 2007, video, humor, Kids In The Hall ...

Sometimes They Come Back. 2007-05-16 19:45:00 I have allergies, I have termites, I have an overgrown garden, I have a blog, I have a computer, I have a comic strip...so much to prattle on about, but first I will fixate on the thing keeping me from all the rest: my allergy does not stop with medication.Okay, maybe fixate is the wrong word, because with allergy medication, fixating is not possible. It is possible to appear to be fixated on something, but I can assure you, that stare? Nothing coming in these eyes.My house still tastes good to the earth-dwelling bastards who systematically took two of our trees and a shed. I'm glad something shares my love for the house, but like all bad relationships, I don't know how to get the termites to leave. The exterminators came today for the third year, and treated the soil. That's all you can do, I hear. Burning them tends to cause more damage than it prevents, and eBay doesn't sell nukes.I've run out of witty things to write today, so I really have no way of pulling this around ...

How American Idol might have done much better in the '80s. 2007-05-08 20:05:00 Keep in mind I just saw Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band again last night. I love that movie, as you know, and this time Nan made the discovery that Sanjaya Malakar would have done well to sing a Peter Frampton song or two. (As you also know, I liked Sanjaya. Peter Frampton's Billy Shears and me go way beyond like. *ahem*)So it was Barry Gibb night on American Idol. My first 8-Track was the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever. You might guess where this is all going. I mean, after all, it was Bee Gees night the first time I noticed Idol, so many years ago.What the ever-loving hell happened to three-fourths of the Top 4?! These were my favorite kids this year...singing my favorite music...what could go wrong? Missing harmonies? Maybe. I don't know. I just found myself saying they should let Jordin Sparks win tonight and kick everyone else off. I didn't expect to like Jordin at the beginning, either...but...tonight she invoked Guilty.The Barbra Streisand/Barry Gibb a ...

I am not a slave to fashion. 2007-05-04 16:17:00 It's spring. The equinox may have occured over a month ago, but the days surrounding Beltane (no...I didn't participate...I played with the cats and dog) brought with it the nice warm weather that signals the usual swarming termites and swooping bats, and also the pollen.I'm not sure if the bees around here have all died from the cell phone waves created by all those people who walk by my house talking to themselves, or maybe the bat ate them, but there seems to be a lot of pollen this year. So much pollen, that my lip swelled up yesterday. I swear, it was like those special lipsticks that are supposed to make you look all trendy and hot, but--I assume--feel like you've just eaten every fruit and piece of sea life that gives you the deathly hives.I did not look trendy and hot with my allergic lips, my squinting runny eyes probably couldn't pass for cutesy batting, and the words I was saying would have ruled out being attractive to anyone at all for a few hours yesterday. And t ...

Burning Question 4/30/07 2007-04-30 14:20:00 Why's that guy's name Puss-Feller in Dr. No? How...how'd he get that name?Tags: April 2007, movies, burning question, Dr. No, James Bond ...