Experiments In Mediocrity Small, obscure, nocturnal, dizzy and itchy; I tell weird stories and will give you my opinion on everything given the time. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 5 0 0 4371

Articles from Experiments In Mediocrity

Traffic Was Stalled For At Least Half A Block. 2007-12-21 15:27:00 I saw this truck on the same day I chopped my car out of a glacier.I did not take this picture, this guy did.Tags: December 2007, photos, silliness, Georgi vodka big-ass ad©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Laugh, And Your Ass Will Be Kicked. 2007-12-20 15:49:00 I probably already told the story about how the local A&P, when they were closing, set up a display of dozens of ice scrapers. Being the store was closing in the middle of August, it was hilarious to see a sale on ice scrapers. I didn't buy one, but I took a picture.During the recent ice storm, I noticed the ice scraper had gone missing from the trunk of my car. That picture sure doesn't make a good icebreaker.I am selling a print of my photo of the ice scrapers, so you can hang it on your wall, look at it and laugh. You can laugh at a grocery store for overstocking ice scrapers in the middle of summer, or you can laugh at the idiot who laughed at the grocery store for overstocking ice scrapers and took a picture, only to be left chipping away uselessly at her car a year-and-a-half later. Summer Special, original photo by Lynda Naclerio, © 2005Tags: December 2007, photos, silliness, ice scrapers, ice storm, selling©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

If I Had Room For This Behind My Piano.... 2007-12-18 15:06:00 It would be hanging right between Obi-Wan and Cornholio.Tags: December 2007, movies, Speed Racer, confessions©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Daryl Hall Says It's The Right Time, I Do Not Argue. 2007-12-17 17:33:00 The media and stores have been insisting it's Christmas since October. The neighbors have had decorations and lights up since before Thanksgiving. This past week we got a ton of snow--and meterologists may frown upon my ballpark weight of the snow, but they didn't have to shovel it out of my walkway. Ton.But it really isn't Christmas yet, it isn't even winter for another four days, even though Paul Winter's had his concert down in St. John The Divine already.Today, however, I finally heard Jingle Bell Rock by Hall & Oates with Daryl Hall singing. There are two different versions, you know, and for some reason the station that went all-Christmas music before Hanukkah seems to only play the John Oates version. I don't have anything against Oates, you can't have Hall & Oates without him, but in 1983, the first year I decorated the tree mostly by myself, it was the Daryl Hall vocal I had burned in my head as my Princess Leia doll handed me red glitter balls and wondered if Han ...

The Best Ones Are The Ones You Won't Hear On The Radio 2007-12-16 16:57:00 Nine Inch Noëls. I can't really add anything to that. Nine Inch Noëls. Wow. Tags: December 2007, music, Nine Inch Nails, Nine Inch Noels, Christmas, Christmas music, holiday music©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Careful what you dig up. 2007-12-15 13:32:00 Last year, the gang at Battered Hat Productions made this downright scary film called The Christmas Fairy. It's still freaking me out, man.Tags: December 2007, videos, movies, Battered Hat Productions, Christmas Fairy, Christmas©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Happy Birthday, The Puppy. 2007-12-14 15:13:00 Keep making me laugh, thanks for not eating me this year, and thanks for rescuing your brothers' furry butts with your pouncy skills.Tags: December 2007, photos, family©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Dear Drug Companies, 2007-12-12 15:54:00 You suck. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful you pulled my mother back from the brink of gangrene, but you know, charging a woman who only has 52 days to go until her Medicare Part D kicks in $125 for ten days worth of generic antibiotics is rather cruel. But hey, it's not like she had to eat for the rest of the month or anything, and gauze, that's free, right? Sure, reusing the outer wrappings before had nothing to do with the infection she picked up.Merry Christmas!Tags: December 2007, drugs, perscriptions, healthcare©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

I Can't Wait To See The Golden Compass. 2007-12-11 14:14:00 I read the books when they first came out, right before I read The Hobbit and all that came after. His Dark Materials is not Lord of the Rings. It is not The Chronicles of Narnia. It is not Harry Potter. It is what it is, and I love it, and if one more movie trailer starts with, "In the tradition of" any other series, I am going to have to write my own damn series that has like, people in it, and pass it off as the next series of people going from place to place--possibly by broom--doing stuff that doesn't involve fart jokes.Yes, coming soon to a theater near you, a band of orphaned curlers discover a tiny magical person prophesized to alter the fat content of donuts forever living in the ancient Scottish quarry of the sparkly granites and must go to space to rescue the chalice of chelation before the the queen (played by Dame Edna) eats the last donut made by the baker with the flaming hands, who is kept in a vegetative state in a burn unit until the skip returns.Think I could ge ...

Deep Thoughts. 2007-12-10 15:10:00 The answer is no, the tree does not make any sound when it falls. The trees around it, getting smacked by the branches rustle and crack a bit, but the ground, the ground is the biggest whiner ever.Tags: December 2007, obscure comments, deep thoughts©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Sunday still sucks. 2007-12-09 15:48:00 I can't actually recall last Sunday now, but I'm pretty sure the general idea of me being of little to no use to anyone is alive and well. For instance, it is well-known that our dog is a lunatic. Her reaction to me being asleep involves knocking over my grandmother. On cement.For roughly three days I have awoken to my grandmother crying, and still I fall for the idea that perhaps my mother's leg fell off during the night. But no, it is always The Puppy. Who, while covered in hair, has Nan convinced that she will freeze to death if left out in the 40° yard, where she stands like a deer in the headlights, refusing to move...until someone goes out there.Our Woman, Holly, bless her, she didn't mess with Nan. No, Nan was her friend, Nan didn't leave her places to have parts removed, so Nan was safe with Holly. This one? All are alike to her, she will knock you over and eat you if she detects that you plan to feed her, walk her, play with her, give her a vitamin, bring her ...

My Eyelashes Are Curling Just Thinking About It. 2007-12-08 16:08:00 The official Speed Racer movie website hasn't updated in a long time, so imagine my surprise when I found stories about it elsewhere. Yeah, why bother keeping the offical site up to date, guys. I mean, hell.Empire Online is great, I find out about a load of movies that are years away there. A few weeks ago, they ran a story where Emile "I am going to have such a dirty old lady crush on you" Hirsch said that the sets will all be green screen, which most likely sent the purists who love the old days when people "drove" their cars in front of film of a winding road into a frothing crazy fit. Me, I'm optimistic because the movies I've seen filmed on green screen don't shake around like, say, The Bourne Ultimatum. What the hell was that movie about, anyway? I couldn't tell with all the jiggling.USA Today has photos of the movie that make me wonder if I am going to need to take some drugs before watching it, but aside from a marked lack of pretty eyelashes, I'm digging it.ComingS ...

Some Call It Insanity. 2007-12-07 15:10:00 This was written a few days ago for AC, but we both knew it wasn't exclusive going into it. My mum's leg--if anyone other than the people who love her care--is doing better.The idea that anyone learns from experience what not to do is a common mistake among people who are too busy with their own lives to notice what is going on around them.For instance, as a child I was always walking into doorknobs. My mother was concerned that perhaps I might be damaging the fragile egg that is my brain and mentioned it to my doctor. My doctor, who was maybe more than a little responsible for my habit of bluntly saying how I see things, told her that I would stop walking into doorknobs when I found out it hurt. This anecdote is pulled out by my family at random times, and only as I lay on the kitchen floor last week, after recovering the consciousness lost when I smashed my left temple into the metal doorknob that leads to the happiness and freedom known as my backyard, did I realize what utter ...

Christmas Came Early And We Can Start Being Thankful. 2007-12-06 15:29:00 My mum's in the hospital. She's finally getting antibiotics for her leg, which is infected and going by the shooting pains she was getting probably would not have waited another 59 days plus however long the medicare supplement HMO-chosen doctor would take to set up an appointment. We can worry about losing the house later, but for now, yay modern medicine.Tags: December 2007, family©2000-2007 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Waking Up With The Ill-Informed. 2007-12-05 14:00:00 Any day I wake up and the first voice I hear is a crazy man on television ranting about Psychology 101 is destined to be...well...just a little more stupid. But this is what happens when I surface long enough to see early morning television programming. My mind is in an easily distracted state, and the sight of the people so full of energy that early fascinates me. The strange, and slighty alarming, news conference was followed by a hoarse Rachael Ray and then The View, which usually ends up on because Mum watches the ABC news, but I always seem to be the only person who listens to what they say on that show, because yesterday when I started screaming, "Did you hear that?" I got dead air...at first.If you're at all familiar with The View, you have an idea of who said this, and if you don't know the hosts of The View, it won't matter who said it, but what's important is that there are people, out in the world, who work in television, who make enough money to be able to live in Ma ...