Experiments In Mediocrity Small, obscure, nocturnal, dizzy and itchy; I tell weird stories and will give you my opinion on everything given the time. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 3 0 0 4371

Articles from Experiments In Mediocrity

I Can Do It, But They Can't Help. 2008-01-16 15:13:00 You know the demise of our microwave would lead to stupidity the size of a nuclear mutation that goes on to devour major cities. I expected a new microwave to be expensive, I expected a wait if we ordered one online, but what I never expected was how much worse Home Depot could possibly get.I don't even remember when our microwave kicked off this mortal coil now, but since the door latch--and in turn the entire unit--broke, dinnertime's been a bitch. It's winter, the windows are maybe 80 years old, there's one baseboard radiator in the entire kitchen/dining room, and keeping anything hot is sort of impossible. That's life, and as long as the oven could warm things, we could do without the microwave a few days. Not really a problem, really. Just an inconvenience.We were supposed to get like, loads of snow. "Pummeled," the weather people said. I was heading for a week of the palsied insanity I like to call being a woman, anyway, so it was going to be next to impossible to get ...

My usual awards-watching habit is on strike. 2008-01-13 20:59:00 The Golden Globes sucked without being able to see Johnny Depp accept that award for Sweeney Todd. Hey, AMPTP, you need to pay the writers. Or else all television will look like Murder Unscripted, and while that's not entirely bad...no, I'm not going to entertain that thought.Tags: January 2008, writer's strike, movies, Golden Globes©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

The Second Week of 2008 2008-01-12 16:50:00 I accidentally deleted the horoscopes from my bulk folder, so I didn't really know what to expect from this week, but now that it's over, I'm not sure what happened, so maybe that was the message of the horoscopes. I seemed to be changing a lot of ink cartridges and moving around when I probably shouldn't have.On Sunday I found out figure skating is still around, who knew? I spent a few hours watching it last weekend, and I recognized like three skaters. Has it been that long? When Christopher Bowman passed away this week, I felt like it had been even longer since I enjoyed skating. Couldn't be that long, I remember watching this, it was only a little while ago.This week, I got my Technorati Tags script for Blogger back, and I bet you didn't even notice I'd lost it, eh? I'd been pasting the div in, man. Hand-edited tags. I'm hardcore.My eBay listing for Titanic was not a success. Not even one watcher. Maybe some free listing day I'll put it on there again, because n ...

This just in: Speed Racer to feature actual Japanese people! 2008-01-11 16:32:00 I couldn't be happier. I wouldn't mind living in Japan, at least the TV wouldn't give me episodes of whatever that is that happens when I watch TV here.Rocket Punch Auto Blog has pictures and lots of words about the racing team, ARTA, who are going to be in the movie, and the car. Not that I'll be noticing much else beside the with car with the jacks and the saws and stuff.I'm having an episode now!Tags: January 2008, Speed Racer, movies©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

I am damp. 2008-01-10 18:12:00 It's been a balmy 55° in the upper-east area of the states, and while I generally lament the loss of the polar ice caps and the impending doom that entails, it has been freakin' nice out, and I've forgotten what computers are for.Oh yeah, I've also been driving more than I should. Which brings me to the point of this post. I have a question for the drivers out there. When Is Oncoming Traffic Visible? Behind the painted line next to the stop sign.Through the windshields of the parked SUVs.From the middle of the intersection.It isn't.When it is lodged in my car.view resultsFree vote poll(No, I didn't get hit, but my mother is starting to ask that I don't just close my eyes and hope for the best.)Tags: January 2008, weather, driving, poll©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Secret Agent LeFluffe in: Sexy Cookie Time 2008-01-07 15:12:00 Secret Agent LeFluffe had been sleeping all night, but when he heard the whistle of the tea kettle, he sprang into action, leaping over couches and televisions to reach the nearest table in his usual drinking establishment.He stood on the table and his eyes flashed. "Gimme the White Russian without the Russian, bebbe, I got all night!"Women flung themselves at him with dessert carts. "Ya!" Secret Agent LeFluffe announced, selecting an orange cupcake with tasty creme filling that made a jaunty white moustache and goatee on his face.Just then, the mafia burst in, gunning for LeFluffe!"Hey, bebbe, I just saw that guy out there though the window," LeFluffe lied, finishing his drinkie as the mafia fell out the tenth-story window."Ya," Secret Agent LeFluffe purred, curled up in a hot broad's arms.Tags: January 2008, family, writing©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

In Case You Didn't Know. 2008-01-06 16:43:00 All you kids who know that Christopher Walken guy who dances in the Fatboy Slim video might want to check this out.Tags: January 2008, videos, Christopher Walken, dancing©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

The Year So Far. 2008-01-05 15:05:00 This is probably the only week I'll remember to do this. Actually I can't remember much, but Dick Clark was involved. Dick Clark rules.It's been very sunny, but very cold. The red ribbons blew out of the hedges. I'm impressed, for 99 cents, I found Christmas decorations that take themselves down. Fabulous!WLIR is dead. Again. I am unhappy with the management of that station.I once again started archiving the accumalated things from my hard drive. Oh for the days when computers didn't have hard drives. Or at least my lovely old Connor 10MB. It didn't take long to back that up. Then again all I had to back up in those days looked like this:I'm still amused by silly things. If you haven't "experienced" the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotes yet, you "need" too.I found Jesus in a picture of a dog's butt. I dig pictures like this.I also dig pictures of Indy IV. There's a story that goes with the pictures, but I just keep seeing the man in the hat. No, not the baseball c ...

Dear Fellow Drivers, 2008-01-04 16:26:00 To the only person on Earth, who I offended with my very presence in the Rite-Aid car park, do not blow your horn at me unless you are about to collide with me. The space was mine, if only because my car is purple and your monstrosity is colorless. Yeah, that's right, I'm callin' white a non-color, you wanna yell at me some more? It is my dearest hope that in the coming year, your microscopic excuse for manhood falls off as you're driving and everyone behind you blows their horns and curses at you as you search for it in vain. I will allow that pulling up so close to my bumper that I couldn't read your plate number was a good move on your part.To the ambulette driver who used up all the adrenaline intended for the patients that were not even in the vehicle at the time and then got on the loudspeaker to tell me to move as I was waiting at a stop sign for the oncoming traffic to pass, you need to lose your voice. It does wonders for the mind, I've found.To whatever was behind ...

This Is Your Brain Being Flipped Like A Fried Egg. 2008-01-03 21:29:00 I'm watching a listing for krinkle gauze for Mum on eBay and writing this post at the same time. Will wonders never cease? (I shouldn't kid, I've been known to miss the end of listings I had noted on my arms while sitting at the computer staring at the very listing I was meant to be bidding on.) We get the gauze from a seller called vetsupplies, and when I mentioned this as a selling point along with, "22 rolls for a buck each!" my family's only concern was that it would be okay for people too....The old joke of confusing vets with vets is alive and well, but sadly it took me an hour to realize they thought I was buying veterinary supplies. If it took you until that explanation, it's okay. Really. It isn't like my book is going to be clever or anything.Among the other supplies for veterans, I found something called a brain spatula. I was looking for sterile spatulas to apply the silver sulfadiazine, see, that is why I innocently typed in spatula, but I didn't find those, ...

Happy Frikkin' New Year! 2008-01-01 14:59:00 Are you tired of hearing and seeing that? I'm not, mainly because I keep my head nicely cocooned and thought it was still 1986.I have plans for this year. I have plans for every year, but I think I need to accept that beating Mindshadow probably isn't going to happen.Most of my little plans hinge on the big plan of getting something published, therefore making enough money to maybe buy some windows or a faucet for my house, as well as having that guy come and see why it rains in my kitchen from time to time.Those are not the kind of plans that interest anyone who has not ever had a cup of coffee that rusty rainwater has dripped into, so I'll just switch to what I'm looking forward to this year.That thing that happens on that Tuesday in November. I have looked forward to other Tuesdays in November, but none had me as impatient as this one.Before that, though, there are a load of movies I can't wait to see. Indy IV, Speed Racer, Wanted, The Mummy 3, The Dark Knight, the new X-Fi ...

Love Me, Love My Music. 2007-12-31 13:03:00 Each time I'd open the file so aptly named "2007Tunes.txt" and add another title and artist to it, I feared this year might not turn out such a mind-blowingly long list, but look...over 50 songs full of, "Yes, I heard that in 2007, and it got me through."The links lead to videos on YouTube or official sites where the songs can be heard/read/looked at/listened to/telepathically inserted into your brain. I apologize for none of them, I love them all, and if you haven't heard them, and you have a lot of time to spend waiting out winter, I think you should give them a listen. Rawk on in '08, kids.The first song I heard this year that I had never heard before was Dunder Mifflin Overdrive by Charles V. This was a mashup requested by R Stevens of Diesel Sweeties, and it is technically the first new and amusing song I heard this year. A new version of Across the Universe by The Beatles from the LOVE album was playing in the background on WFUV at the same time, so it could be a tie. Hmm ...

This Would Be Day Five. 2007-12-29 16:20:00 All that marketing crap and radio bombardment about Christmas through Hanukkah and Solstice once again ended Christmas at around 5 A.M. on Boxing Day.Screw that, here's a 12 Days of Christmas that goes totally frikkin' insane and ends up being one of my favorite songs ever.Tags: December 2007, music, Straight no Chaser, 12 Days of Christmas, Christmas, Christmas music, holiday music©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Factory-Sealed Is Code For "You Want This." 2007-12-28 22:20:00 Ripping off Taking a page from Dawn Meehan, I went nuts and wrote up an eBay listing for my aunt's factory-sealed 2-tape set of Titanic. I'm not going to explain why, that's what the listing is for.Ooh, suspense.Tags: December 2007, movies, Titanic, eBay, writing, selling©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...

Happy whatever you celebrate. 2007-12-25 13:50:00 What're you reading a crotchety ol' blog for? Go be merry and enjoy whatever it is you do today.That's what I intend to go do, now, even if it causes my head to crack open.Tags: December 2007, holidays©2000-2008 Lynda B. Naclerio, all rights reserved. ...