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Articles from Ninja Monkeys!

I’m in the top 5% of Java programmers 2008-02-08 08:26:31 According to BetterProgrammer.com I passed their testing better than 95% of other test takers. However, they don’t say how many other test takers there were, and you don’t really know how many were legitimate either, but I’m still proud of my result :) Try to beat me at http://www.betterprogrammer.com ...

207 people freeze in place on cue in Grand Central Station 2008-02-07 00:07:54 From the folks at ImprovEverywhere.com. 207 people freeze in place at the exact same second in Grand Central station, and stay that way for five minutes to thoroughly freak out everyone not in on the joke. ...

Finish every day 2008-01-23 08:38:45 Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays. – Ralph Waldo Emerson ...

Ron Paul for president 2008-01-14 02:53:16 Instead of Zuma! ... President  Ron Paul

Far Cry 2 stolen demo footage 2008-01-04 03:08:33 Far Cry 2 makes Crysis look silly. I could add a laundry list of features here, but rather watch the video if you want to be impressed. It’s going to be the most dynamic game on the market with the most immersive and realistic environment. I’m just worried that games are going to get so hard you actually need army training to play them… Update: More tech demo footage here. ...

Review: Six Fang Marks And A Tetanus Shot 2007-12-04 08:45:25 The book starts simply enough, with a hilarious look into the childhood of two brothers, Rem and Ysbrand, whose luck doesn’t just run out, but never seems to have existed in the first place. I laughed at all the accidents Rem manages to blunder into as he tackles life without thinking of the consequences, and I felt sorry for Ysbrand when he gets burdened with the responsibility of keeping Rem, if not in one piece, at least alive. But the comedy runs out near the end, where the novel gets dark and tense as you see just how dangerous Rem’s accident proneness can be to other people, and the finale of the book will leave you gaping in disbelief as you try to separate fact from fiction. You get taken on a rollercoaster ride of emotions as you empathise with the characters, and the ending will take you by surprise instead of leaving you wanting. Definitely one of the better novels I’ve read recently, and that means a lot coming from a science fiction nut like myself. My on ...

Panda Escape! 2007-11-26 05:38:30 Oh sure, they’re laughing now, but when that bear comes rampaging around the corner to eat their children it’ll be another story entirely! ...

Call of Duty 4 review 2007-11-22 03:43:11 Game of the year 2007. For me anyway. The trailer above is all from in-game graphics, nothing pre-rendered, and it really is that intense and generally awesome. Even the fact that you can’t drive vehicles like Battlefield 2142 doesn’t detract from it’s playability. This is a game that will live on in multiplayer circles even longer than Counter Strike has. They’ve fine tuned everything from how your weapons handle to the way you move to make it truly immersive, so you come out of the game feeling like you’ve been a marine fighting for your life and your squadmates’ for a few hours. Most of the environment is physics-based, so a grenade going off in a house will knock the paintings off the wall of another room, and the sound and visuals fit together tightly to deliver a true cinematic gaming experience with none of the usual crates ‘o health or ammo boxes to remind you that it’s just an approximation of reality. This game feels real ...

Review: Corne and Twakkie’s The Most Amazing Show 2007-11-21 23:36:48 I can sum up TMAS in one word: stupid. Forget about any intelligent humour delivered with rubber-faced funny antics like you’d expect from Robin Williams. TMAS is more along the lines of your friend drinking too much at a braai, putting his underwear over his jeanpant, making a snor out of tomato sauce, and then cracking crude jokes in a funny accent at other peoples’ expense. You’ll laugh, but secretly you’re just waiting for him to pass out so you can draw penises on his face in permanent marker and take photos to show his parents, because frankly, that’s a whole lot funnier. If you enjoy laughing at people acting daft, and you’ve had at least four beers, then go see the show, but be warned that it’s a few laughs interspersed with long periods of dull comedy sinking under the weight of tired political jokes. The TMAS website has details on the show, which is live at the Baxter in Cape Town from Nov 19 till Dec 1, and some videos so you&rsquo ...

Android platform from Google will jumpstart innovation in the mobile industry 2007-11-12 23:46:27 Software development on the mobile platform is painful. Various incompatible extensions and badly implemented Java virtual machines cause headaches for developers and users. Google and the Open Handset Alliance are aiming to change that with their Android platform. The platform provides an operating system, middleware, and key applications standardised across devices so the developer can program an application using Java and be guaranteed that it will run on any Android supporting device in the same way. Great news for developers and consumers alike. We’re going to see some fantastic innovations in the mobile space now that it’s feasible. Especially since Google is jump-starting Android development by running a competition with $10 million in awards. My favourite feature is that the standard email, calendar, etc. programs that come with your phone will be written on top of Android as well. So any other application can access the same data subject to security constraints, an ... Google

Game Development: My first game 2007-11-09 04:20:14 I hacked together my first web game, an 8×8 variation of Connect 4 where you need to get four coins in a row, and it only took about 12 hours. It uses Java and the PulpCore framework for animation and sound, and my own weak minimax with alpha-beta pruning AI algorithm to beat your ass senseless. Theoretically the AI can look 4 moves ahead, so I like to think that when it gives you an easy win it’s because it’s seen how depressing and futile the future is and just gives up, like Marvin the paranoid android. Either that or there’s a bug in there, but I’m buggered if I can find it. So play the game and let me know what improvements I can make. I’m loving game development, now if only I can bring my passion and your money together somehow… ...

Armadillo Run game review 2007-11-05 03:10:23 Armadillo Run is a physics game where you get to build Rube Goldberg contraptions to try and maneuver the armadillo to an exit portal. A simple premise, but it allows hours of gameplay with many different solutions to the same problem using ropes, metal poles and sheets, elastics, rubber, rockets, pulleys, etc. If you liked The Incredible Machine series, you’ll be completely addicted to Armadillo Run. This game is almost as much fun as Portal but with more longevity, and you’ll be getting an education in physics and structural engineering without realising it. The game is only $20, so go support innovative indie developers now! Try Armadillo Run demo for free. ...

Review: aXbo alarm clock wakes you up the right way 2007-10-22 08:36:40 The aXbo sleep phase alarm clock wakes you up the right way, with coffee and a blowjob. Okay, I lied. Unfortunately it isn’t as fantastic as that, but it does keep track of your sleep cycles so it can gently coax you out of slumberland instead of jarring you awake with the aural equivalent of a brick to the cranium. It does this by monitoring a sweatband you wear on your non-dominant arm wirelessly, and when it’s time to wake up, within 30 minutes of your specified alarm time, it will try to estimate when you’re almost awake and then gently sound a tone that you can set. Much nicer than a violent beeping at 7am when you’ve just convinced Angelina Jolie that you’re a much more satisfying option than Brad Pitt. It’s similar to the Sleeptracker watch I looked at previously, but the good folks at Identum were kind enough to send me one to review, so I can vouch for it’s effectiveness. I can’t wear a watch to bed, but the sweatband is hardly n ...

Portal: The best game you’ll play this month 2007-10-22 08:05:03 Portal is one of those rare games that blow your expectations away. When you first start the game you’re thinking “oh yay, another first-person shooter” but then you’re given a device that can open up a portal in any wall and a set of fiendishly difficult puzzles involving physics, timing, and some heavy lateral thinking, and you’re in for at least four hours of glorious entertainment. Add to this the great black humour from the genius of the Half-life creators, and even your significant other will end up watching you play in rapt amazement. It’s that good. Now, enough yakking, I can’t put this game into words, go get it now from your local shop or get it off Steam like I did and you can thank me later. 3h30 of gameplay is a bit short, but it fits the story perfectly, so it’s not really a negative. Hell, I can’t think of any reason not to play this game. p.s. Yes, yes, I know the month is almost over, but I’m trying to ...

Project Offset: Cinematic-quality gaming 2007-09-28 01:13:58 I’m irrationally excited about Project Offset. Never mind the frightening array of jargon such as unified lighting and shading, post-processing, realistic shadowing, and particle effects, what it all boils down to is that playing it will be like playing in your very own Lord of the Rings movie. The graphics are that good! Download the video sneak peeks if you don’t believe me. I was blown away yesterday by the Bioshock demo; it’s changed my expectations of gaming completely. Beautiful and interactive environment, stunning graphics, and a storyline that immerses you in a world beyond your imagination. This is what all new games should be like: promise a lot, and then deliver more than you could possibly expect. Makes going to the movies seem dull. I’m hoping Project Offset exceeds my expectations. ...