Articles from Freelance Cynic

... and the duped masses
2007-07-20 01:27:00
Just change 'kids are' to 'Finacee is' and you get an idea of what I've got to do tonight!Other PicsCaption Contest 7Moral Pillar of SocietyGet Away ...

Walk this way
2007-07-19 02:03:00
Recently, I’ve been trying out some techniques to improve my Self-esteem.For example, rather than staring at the pavement, I now hold my head up high as I walk down the street.The result seems to be that I trip over a lot more...More Quick HitsAnimal SlightsBegging Your AttentionMake your eyes Google ...

Moaning Meme Moaners...
2007-07-19 01:38:00
The moaning memes are coming in thick and fast! Mostly thick though.Here's some of the people who've got a load off their chest already! Will you be next?Join the revolution... Tagged for the Moaning Meme The photo in this entry is What It Takes. Photographed and edited by me, Lynda Walldez. I was recently tagged by JennieBoo for this meme. I'm glad she did, it's pretty interesting and a nice way to vent. :D Thanks Jennie! ... writ by Lynda Walldez at 19 July, 2007 05:52 The Moaning Meme I have been tagged with this most unusual meme by Ally at Crazy dust in my coffee, thanks Ally... a legal and lawful chance to gripe! I have tagged 5 people who I have not tagged for anything in the past. Enjoy! ... writ by Wanderlust Scarlett at 19 July, 2007 00:59 The Moaning Meme Sarge over @ Sarge Charlie tagged me with The Moaning Meme. This meme was started over at Freelance Cynic. I. List four things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the ...

Celebrity Rumours
2007-07-19 00:15:00
This post is brought to you by celebrity rumorsReading through the moaning memes they was one moan that kept coming up. Celebrity gossip.“It’s not news!” you cried. “I don’t care,’ you cried. “What the hell is this stupid meme?" you cried. In short there was a lot of crying. My cheque from Kleenex is in the mail.And so I dare each of and every one of you to resist the lure of celebrity rumours, the news aggregator site for Hollywood gossip that gathers all the juiciest stories and most recent rumours into one magazine style column.Best of all, when I looked, there were pictures of topless men!Bet you can’t read just one! ...

Home Remedies
2007-07-17 02:35:00
Inspired by this site, which recommends holding a raw steak against your eye, or imagining cigar smoking women, I have decided to recommend some alternative home remedies of my own.It’ll be nice to know I’ve made the world a better place.CornsCorns are useful for guitar playing, but only if you strum with your toes. They are normally caused by ill fitting shoes, so to prevent walk everywhere in slippers. It may also help to start using a plectrum as well.DepressionForget paying out for expensive anti-depressants or counselling. As Jean-Paul Satre could tell you, depression is ‘other people.’ Avoid them! Mix up 2 pints of larger with 6 shots of Vodka and soak your throat and stomach repeatedly. The depression should temporarily disappear within 30 minutes to an hour.Hay feverHay fever is caused by breathing in pollen to which the body is allergic. Thus, to avoid hay fever, stop breathing.Head liceHead lice are parasitic creatures much like us, and can be killed the same way. Var ...

Moaning Meme
2007-07-16 05:57:00
If you've ever listened to people talking on a bus you'll know that most of what they say is negative. They talk about things they hate, people that annoy them and boyfriends that let them down before they even think about mentioning the 'nice things.'All of us do it. We find it natural, when with a friend, to moan. In fact a recent study has shown that the most effective form of human bonding is moaning and gossiping.Yet our blogs, the social tools of the 21st century, are populated by memes listing our 'favourites,' or our 'blessings,' or our 'funniest' moments. In our efforts to be readable we have denied others the one thing that makes us interesting - our whining, moaning, complaining selves.And so I am pleased to present the first ever Moaning Meme! The meme that will teach us all a bit more about each other and ourselvesIt's time to spread some Personality...The Moaning Meme5 people who will be annoyed you tagged them.LindaWebmiztressWhennMr FabSkittles(I tagged peop ...

File Sharing
2007-07-15 02:07:00
This post is brought to you by file sharingHave you been on holiday recently and taken loads of pictures? If so you should meet my dad, you’d have a lot in common.The problem. however, is that you want to send these photos to, say, your second born, but the folder is too big to send via E-mail. Now either you can send the landscape shots one at a time, wasting a lot of time and effort, or you can use something like Driveway file sharing to send them instead.Driveway file sharing allows you to send up to 500Mbs a time, store an unlimited amount of files on line and even post links to the files in your blog!Just don’t tell my Father…. ...

You're addicted to grub...
2007-07-11 15:44:00
Food, like crack cocaine, is addictive.I say this from first hand experience. I am not overweight because of a genetic disposition or a poor metabolism. I am not overweight due to a sedentary lifestyle or poor self-esteem. I am not even overweight because of global warming. I’m overweight because I eat too much.If you put a plate of chips in front of me, and an ounce of heroin in front of Pete Docherty, the result would be somewhat similar, except Pete would probably know when to stop. If you give me food I will eat it until my belly fills, my heart panics, and people begin to ask me if I’m pregnant.The other difference between myself and a heroin addict is that the junkie, a drain on society, gets free health care, free counseling, free morphine injections and a free appearance on Trisha when he is a ‘reformed sinner.’The fat person on the other hand, who drive our economy with their purchases of custard doughnuts and Garfield Comics, get ridiculed, teased and a lifetime membe ...

Caption Contest - Toad Work
2007-07-04 02:41:00
"My work likes to find new and exciting ways to motivate it's employees."Previous PostsPart 9, Part 8, Part 7, Part 6, Part 5, Part 4, Part 3, Part 2, Part 1 ...

Caption Contest Winners
2007-06-29 13:58:00
Only Two Winners today,In Second Place it's Skittles with - "There will be a raid on Barbie's townhouse at midnight."And in first place it's Jams O Donnell with -"Tune in to ESPN tomorrow for another bout of full contact Rock, Paper, Scissors."Congats Jam! Here's your prize!The Original Action Man! ...

Y is for...
2007-06-28 03:04:00
Because the calls for my office are routed through our head office, located somewhere in the Mars' wastelands, we are trained to repeat back details in the phonetic alphabet, making up for the lack of quality on the lines.This has the unfortunate effect of making us sound like we're telling a bad joke about Uncle Charlie doing the Foxtrot in Quebec, and quickly, most of us make up our own phonetic replacements, E. g., A for 'allo 'allo, b for boxers, c for culinary... Sticking to the original phonetics can cause problems.For example, a few days ago, a new girl was reading back a number plate to a customer. It was a Y plate and she used phonetics, beginning with 'Y for Yankee.'For some Freudian reason however, she replaced the 'y' in 'yankee' with a 'w.' The result was somewhat unfortunate.I know a girl who needs to make up her own phonetic alphabet... It would seem however, that she has other things on her mind.Previous PostsPart 7, Part 6, Part 5, Part 4, Part 3, Part 2, ...

Caption Contest
2007-06-27 01:20:00
"His mother warned him his hand would stay that way if he kept it up."Winners announced on Friday....Previous PostsPost 8, Part 7, Part 6, Part 5, Part 4, Part 3, Part 2, Part 1 ...

Meme Update
2007-06-27 01:07:00
Linda and Angelika added the 5 Things Meme!I'll give you a cookie if you go check them out.Will not actually give you a cookie. ...

Number 5, not just robot...
2007-06-26 01:21:00
I've only gone and been tagged again. Whenn seems to have it in for me...INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:Daddy ForeverThe Ice BoxThe Buzz QueenOpinion MinionsFreelance CynicNext select five people to tag:ShellyAngelikaAllyWebmiztrisLindaTHEN answer the following Questions: What were you doing 10 years ago?I was in grammar school, blissfully unaware that such a thing as real life, bills, and memes existed.What were you doing 1 year ago?Unpacking in my new flat after I moved to Bristol and wondering if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I hadn't. I'm still waiting for that to happen.Five snacks you enjoy:Twix bars - Double the pleasureMilky way magic stars - Chocolate with smiley faces! What more could a guy need.Cheese and Onion sandwiches - Anything to make my breath smelly.Toast - Breakfast, Lunch and DinnerBananas - mmm Bendy...Five songs to which you know a ...

Credit Card Application
2007-06-26 01:08:00
This post sponsored by credit card applicationRecently, Financial companies have had an overwhelming urge to give me credit cards. I can’t even post a letter nowadays without someone popping up next to me with a simile, a contract and a promise of Free Air Miles.I can see how some people to fall into debt.If you’re in debt and looking to repair your credit record or maybe get a new credit card, check out credit card application to see what they can do for you.Then all you’ll have to decide on is weather to have the Tiger cord, the American Flag, or the naked lady. Shiny…. ...

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