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IB, CBI and Delhi Police apprehending criminals 2007-11-07 07:16:00 The IB, CBI and Delhi Police are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The PM decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch.The IB goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.The CBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.The Delhi Police goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit! ...

Finger prints 2007-11-07 06:57:00 Police Inspector: Have you caught the thief? Hawaldar: No, but I found some trace of him. Police Inspector: What? Hawaldar: Finger prints. Police Inspector: Where? Hawaldar: On my cheeks. ...

Desi Marriage FAQ For Dummies 2007-11-07 06:53:00 Q: What is an arranged marriage?A1: Arranged marriage is the process through which a loser like him will get a knockout like her that he will never get in real life.A2: Arranged marriage is the process through which she will get the BMW of her dreams by marrying the doctor of her nightmares.Q: How many functions are there in a desi marriage?A1: It depends on how much your parents love you and how much they are prepared to spend on you. Parents, if you have two kids, decide which one you love more now. The other one is going to elope.A2: Three functions.Q: What's the first of the three functions?A: It's called a holud ceremony, literally the "yellow" ceremony.Apparently, we have discovered a breakthrough scientific formula.Brown + Yellow = White.Because our ultimate aim in life is to look like this.Q: What is the second ceremony?A: It is called the akht. This is where the imam decides because a girl is silently crying she is happily agreeing to the marriage, whereas the boy (who shoul ...

Bengali Joke 2007-10-06 11:43:00 An angry Bengali letter? Chitti-chitti Bong! BongA talkative Bengali? Bulbul ChatterjeeAn outlawed Bengali? Kanoon BanerjeeAn enlightened Bengali? Jyoti BasuA stupid Bengali girl? Balika BuddhuA Bengali marriage? BeddingA Bengali voyeur? KeyholloA mad Bengali? In Sen (insane)A dark Bengali who lives in a cave? Kalidas GuhaA perfumed Bengali? Chandan DassA Bengali goldsmith? Shonar BonglaWhat's bigger than the Bay of Bengal? The Bengali EgoWhen does a Bengali sound like a dog? When he says Bow (wow)Also when he bharks! (works). ...

Hidden cameras 2007-07-20 07:17:00 Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?" ...

Bengali Jokes 2007-07-18 06:10:00 Q : How does the Bong learn the alphabet?A : A for Orange, B for Bhegetable.... :Q : How does a Bong relax in the evening?A : He goes to the Howrah Breez to get some Brij. :Q : What does the Bong do first in the morning?A : After baking up from hees slip, he removes the bed-shit. :Q: What did a Bengali voyeur say to another?A: Keyhollo?Q: What do u call a firebrand Bong?A: Gun-goli. ...

Air India 2007-07-10 06:34:00 Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!" So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!" The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American. "Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly. Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?" asked the American. "Sweet of India!" replied the old man. After the meal ...

Recognizing a Sardar 2007-07-01 07:19:00 You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:• puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.• gets stabbed in a shoot-out.• sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.• tries to drown a fish in water.• thinks socialism means partying.• trips over a cordless phone.• takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.• At the bottom of the application where it says “Sign Here” he puts“Sagittarius.”.• studies for a blood test and fails.• sells the car for gas money.• misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.• drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, “Airport left”, he turns ground andgoes home.• gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor. ...

Lie detector 2007-06-02 07:12:00 An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says:“I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer”. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.“Ok”, he says, “10 bottles”.And the machine is silent.The American says: “I think I can eat 15 hamburgers”.BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.“Allright, 8 hamburgers”.And the machine’s silent.The Sardarji says:“I think…”,BUZZZZZZ goes the machine. ...

Identification of Sardar 2007-03-20 07:32:00 You can be sure it is a sardarji when somebody: – Sends a fax with a stamp on it.– Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.– Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead,– Boards another bus in extreme hurry and upon seeing it is a 23C cut () service, promptly gets down thinking that the bus route is cancelled.– Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, “Airport left”, he turned around and went home.– Got locked in Furniture Shop and slept on the floor.– At the bottom of the application where it says “Sign Here” he put Sagittarius.”– Studies for a blood test and fails.– Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said “concentrate.”– Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.– Gets stabbed in a shoot-out. ...