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Things about Life 2008-02-06 03:48:04 Women should not have children after 35. Really…35 children are enough Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents … at bowling alleys. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. Save Your Breath… You’ll need it to blow up your date! I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately! Isn’t it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom? “No one ever says “It’s only a game,” when their team is winning.” I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: “CHECKOUT TIME IS 18″ “If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?” “How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?” Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaini ...

Bar Jokes - Beer, booze, bartender Jokes 2008-01-31 12:49:21 An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you, I suppose,” she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one gulp. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. “Yuck, that’s nasty poison!” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!” “Well, there you go,” cried the husband. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!” What happened when the barman died? The police held an inn-quest Twenty-four hours in a day… twenty-four beers in a case… coincidence? Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men twelve bottles of beer each. The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group g ...

Kirsten Haglund - Miss America 2008 Photos and Profile 2008-01-29 17:11:01 Congratulation Kirsten Haglund ! Miss America 2008 photos Kirsten Haglund - Miss America 2008 Profile Kirsten Haglund (born 1988) is a beauty queen from Farmington Hills, Michigan who is Miss America 2008. After winning the Miss Oakland County local title Haglund competed in the Miss Michigan pageant for the first time and was crowned Miss Michigan in June 2007. Haglund went on to represent Michigan in the Miss America 2008 pageant broadcast on TLC from the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino on January 26, 2008. She won a preliminary swimsuit award on Wednesday night, becoming her state’s first Preliminary Swimsuit award since 1987. At the conclusion of the live telecast, Haglund was crowned the 83rd Miss America. She succeeds Lauren Nelson, of Lawton, Oklahoma and is Michigan’s fifth Miss America and her state’s first for twenty years. At 19, Haglund was the youngest girl in the competition, and the youngest Miss America winner since Kimberly Cla ... America

Belt up - Always Wear a Seatbelt ! Video Collection 2008-01-27 06:07:35 Belt up - Heaven can wait A guy without a seat belt in car accident, looks very painful ! Belt up, or suffer the pain This one is quite funny but anything that gets the message across - is a good thing! Irish seat belt, here, only the guy without the seatbelt survives, but he kills everyone else in the car. Think! Always wear a seatbelt, consequences Don’t be another statistic, wear your seatbelt ! Here is a great commercial , even dummies wear seat belts. Look at the dummie squirrel, a nut with an airbag, cool ! And the last one, Think Always Wear a Seatbelt ! Related posts Mio - The Fly Commercial Video (0) Renault Ballett - Commercial Video (1) ...

Super Mario World - Flash Game 2008-01-24 16:05:58 The classic Nintendo game Super Mario. One of the most played game of the 1980’s. It’s a simple game and fun to play, enjoy ! Related posts Storm the House - War Strategy and Shooter Flash game (0) Hot Dog Manager - Flash Game (0) Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow - Santa Flash Game (0) Santa Claus Balance or Santa Artois (0) Santa's Gift Jump - Flash Game (0) ...

Blonde Jokes - Question and Answers 2008-01-22 13:22:48 Q: Did you hear about the Blonde who got a pair of water-skis? A: She’s still looking for a lake with a slope. Q: What do you call a blonde sky diving team? A: A new version of the lawn dart’s game. Q: Did you hear about the new blonde hoodlum? A: She runs around spray-painting her name on chain link fences. Q: Did you hear about the blonde that got pregnant for the second time? A: She asked her husband if they needed to get married again. Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite color? A: A light shade of clear. Q: How do you drown a blonde ? A: When he asks for a lifesaver, ask him what flavor he wants. Q: How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash? A: She’s the one on her bike. Q: Did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a car accident ? A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out. Q: Why didn’t the blondes go to the movies on one buck night ? A: They couldn’t fit a deer into the car. Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: Give her a mirror and tell her to wait for the ...

Storm the House - War Strategy and Shooter Flash game 2008-01-21 00:38:24 You have to protect the stronghold, shoot the stick men with your mouse, reload your weapon by pressing spacebar. When you have the money you can buy gunmen, craftsmen, silo, you can upgrades for the wall and you can fortify it. Good luck ! Related posts Bar Jokes - Beer, booze, bartender Jokes (0) Super Mario World - Flash Game (0) Hot Dog Manager - Flash Game (0) Men Vs Women - Jokes (0) Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow - Santa Flash Game (0) ...

Yo Momma Jokes, The Best Ones ! 2008-01-20 12:01:22 Here are one of the best Yo Momma Jokes I’ve ever heard. Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs! Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds. Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow that when she smiles traffic slows down. Yo mama’s teeth so yellow that when she smiles everyone sings, “i got sunshine on a cloudy day” … Yo mama is so fat that she needs a book mark to keep track of all her chin rolls! Yo mama has so many chins, it looks like she’s wearing a fat necklace !! Yo mama’s o fat she supplies 99% of British gas. Yo Momma so black when she goes swimming people thinks shes and oil spill. Yo mama is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day. Yo Mama’s so fat she sank the Titanic! Yo mama’s so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner. Yo mama’s house is so small you have to go outside to change your mind. Yo mama’s so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese ...

Hot Dog Manager - Flash Game 2008-01-17 12:28:44 Hot Dogs and games, what a delicious combination ! It’s Dubya’s first day at the job and it’s all a bit confusing. Not to worry, create meals and deliver them to customers, it’s simple, but you have to hurry up, customers don’t like to wait. Good luck, you’ll need it ! Related posts Super Mario World - Flash Game (0) Storm the House - War Strategy and Shooter Flash game (0) Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow - Santa Flash Game (0) Santa Claus Balance or Santa Artois (0) Santa's Gift Jump - Flash Game (0) ...

Men Vs Women - Jokes 2008-01-17 02:44:30 MEN AND WOMEN COMPARED NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anyth ...

Question and Answer Jokes 2008-01-16 13:36:18 Q: What do you call 5 dogs with no balls? A: The Spice Girls! Q: What’s the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist? A: A genealogist looks up the family tree. A gynecologist looks up the family bush. Q: What do you call two skunks doing a 69? A: Odor eaters! Q: Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? A: To meet chicks. Q: What do Disney World & VIAGRA have in common? A: They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride. Q: What’s the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom? A: A pick pocket snatches watches. A peeping Tom watches 20 snatches. Q: How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A: It’s not hard. Q: Which 3rd grader has the best body, the blonde, brunette or 20 redhead? A: The blonde — she’s eighteen. Q: Why can’t you tell blondes knock knock jokes? A: Because they go and answer the ...

Achmed The Dead Terrorist Sings Christmas Carols - Jingle Bombs 2008-01-13 11:20:30 Achmed is back ! Dashing through the sand Wit a bomb strapped on my back, I have a nasty plan, To celebrate Christmas Iraq!! I got through check point A but not through Check Point B thats when I got shot in the ass by the U.S Military!! ITS NOT FUNNY!! ohhh jingle bombs, jingle bombs, mine blew off you see, where are all these virgins that bin laden promised me O Holy Crap, I Blow My Foot Off ! Silence !! Night. Achmed is the best puppet that Jeff Dunham has come out with yet, Achmed Rocks, it’s too funny !!! The guitar guy is Brian Haner, in case you’ve wondered. Related posts Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow - Santa Flash Game (0) Snowline - Santa Claus Flash Game (0) Is There a Santa Claus? (0) Dysfunctional Christmas Carols (0) Letter To Santa Claus by Little Johnny (0) ...

Funny McDonald’s Application 2008-01-11 07:40:44 This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! Editor’s note: I would have hired him too!! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I’m worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be h ...

Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow - Santa Flash Game 2008-01-09 14:26:11 The Bad Santa Flash Games Series continues with “Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow”. First Santa got drunk, now is peeing all over the place. The instructions for this one are are pretty simple. ‘Click to begin the flow use the mouse to direct it and join the numbered dots to for Christmas flavoured decorations in the snow’. Have fun ! Related posts Super Mario World - Flash Game (0) Storm the House - War Strategy and Shooter Flash game (0) Hot Dog Manager - Flash Game (0) Achmed The Dead Terrorist Sings Christmas Carols - Jingle Bombs (0) Santa Claus Balance or Santa Artois (0) ...

Santa Claus Balance or Santa Artois 2008-01-09 05:18:17 This time Santa is dead drunk It’s similar to the drunk man flash game, but this time you are walking on the roof and you have to deliver the presents in the chimney. Balance is the key, have fun ! Related posts Storm the House - War Strategy and Shooter Flash game (0) Hot Dog Manager - Flash Game (0) Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow - Santa Flash Game (0) Santa's Gift Jump - Flash Game (0) Snowline - Santa Claus Flash Game (0) ...