The Frog Bog Pontification from the pond. It's funny. Except when it's not. But it usually is. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 0 0 25 1447

Articles from The Frog Bog

Donald Trump’s Hair Tells The Frogster About His Latest Business Venture (An Exclusive Interview) 2007-10-11 17:44:21 THE FROGSTER:  “I’d like to acknowledge our dynamic duo of topic suggestors, Theresa and Ms. Q.  While I’m afraid that we had to release the alligators (it’s a bog, we don’t keep hounds) on The Frog Bog Request Fulfillment Department because Theresa’s request took 96 hours to fulfill instead of the allotted 72, our new staff has been able to honor the agreement regarding Ms. Q’s request, and they were even able to tie Theresa’s request in as well.  It is a great honor to have, live, in The Frog Bog Intelligence Gathering Chamber, The Hair of Mr. Donald Trump.  Welcome.” THE HAIR OF DONALD TRUMP:  “It’s an honor.” THE FROGSTER:  “Oh, no.  The honor is all mine.” THODT:  “That’s what I meant.  It’s an honor for you.” TF:  “Oh.  Uh, yes, yes indeed.  You know, I thought there would be more of you.” THODT:  “Nope.  Just me.  I went solo about 20 yea ...

RU Loses to Bionic Bearcats and the Mid-October Sports Roundup 2007-10-10 08:10:03 Shouldn’t you be over at Diesel’s voting for me in the finals of his latest caption contest? I know.  I have other things I’m supposed to be writing about.  Rest assured that The Frog Bog Research and Literary Implementation Squad is on the case.  Football: Don’t even tell me about your NFL picking blog.  I am currently ranked in the 99.4th percentile of “Pigskin Pick’em” over at ESPN’s website.  Awwww yeeeaaahh. Baseball: I thought the Rockies would advance to The World Series (which The Red Sox will win), but I’m surprised the Yankees didn’t get past the first round again.  For all you A-Rod haters, by the way, this year he makes less money than Jason Giambi, so cool it. Baketball:  It’s nice that we’re approaching playing time and we’ve passed whining time.  In case you missed it, this offseason Shawn Marion, Kobe Bryant and Andrai Kirilenko all whined about how unsatisfying their jobs were f ...

First Stop Jim Thorpe, Next Stop World Domination! 2007-10-08 09:20:43 I should be writing a Fearless Frog post, since it’s Monday, but I’ve got a 72-hour-guarantee to get to (which I’m counting as 72 hours after I actually see the request) and a meme that is getting stale I need to respond to.  But first, I’ll get you caught up on my big weekend at The 2007 Risk Tournament of Champions.   The tournament took place on top of the highest hill in Jim Thorpe, PA.  When we arrived in the morning, the hill was surrounded by a thick fog that forbode.  I’m not sure what it forbode, but it sure forbode.  The tension was palpable as the players arrived, signed in and sized up the competition.   Then the sun came out and everything was fine.              The tournament participants were not here for the scenery, however.  We were here to pillage and conquer.  Here are the participants in my first-round game.  Leland (the eventual winner) is blocking Cell Dude, and 10-year-old Samuel is pictured on the right.  ...

Blogger, Myth, Legend: The Frogster’s Early Years 2007-10-05 09:00:47 Since my blogging fame is spreading far and wide, I figured it was only fair to throw a crumb to the masses clamoring for a morsel of Frogster info.  I’m not just an astonishing success when it comes to blogging.  No, no. I have been on the cutting edge of many fields throughout my legendary life. Over the last few decades, I have excelled in all manner of pursuits.  Don’t believe me? Well, here’s proof:            That’s right.  The Trenton Times Carrier of the Week.  Fifty Smackeroos.  Well, well, well. Looks like The Old Frogster has been a celebrity for the last 23 years. If you were one of the 26 fortunate Trenton Times customers who lived along route 46024 back in 1984, you can say you knew me when news of my remarkable life was just beginning to spread. In fact, I was the one spreading the news about me, since I was the one delivering the papers. Not like today, when, um… well okay, I guess I’m still the one spreading th ...

Dr. F Goes Above the Rim With a Little Honey-Glazed Help 2007-10-03 09:06:47 A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a dream I had while I was in the throes of some evil virus, in which the Miami Heat’s Dwyane Wade told me that the secret to dunking a basketball was to eat a 7-11 coffee roll. That post is here. I said in the post that after I was feeling better I would try this theory. And I did. I think the results will shock you. I promise, on my word as a blogger, that absolutely none of these pictures were retouched in any fashion. Here I am in my normal, un-coffee rolled state, lethargic and droopy.  The basketball, by the way, is an official Bugs Bunny basketball, because I’ve learned that if the kidz in the hood see me ballin’ with Bugz Bunnee, they know how I roll and give me some respect.          My first dunk attempt. Not even close.           Ingesting a 7-11 coffee roll.            My transformation into Dr. F, the slam-dunking machine.          Awww yeah.          It’s too bad that t ...

David Beckham’s Left Foot- An Exclusive Interview 2007-10-01 10:32:10 THE FROGSTER:  “There has been much clamoring in the blogosphere lately for information about David Beckham’s left foot.  And by a lot, I mean a comment left on The Frog Bog by the lovely and talented Theresa requesting said information.  We at The Frog Bog pride ourselves on providing our hordes of readers with anything they request within a lightning-fast 72-hour period.   The Frog Bog Interview Negotiation team hasn’t slept since Theresa left her request on Friday, and it is my great pleasure to welcome to The Frog Bog Information Gathering Compound the one and only left foot of Mr. David Beckham.  Welcome.” DAVID BECKHAM’S LEFT FOOT:  “Cheers.” TF:  “So, how should I refer to you, David Beckham’s left foot?  It’s just that typing David Beckham’s left foot could get a little tedious over the course of this interview.” DBLF:  “Well, I really do prefer David Beckham’s Left Foot.  Not m ...

Breakin’ Off A Little Smut for the Bots 2007-09-28 07:59:10 The first thing they tell you about blogging is, “know thy reader.”  If you’ve got a site that gives tips on how to make lace doilies, a review of the upcoming Xbox 360 game “Brothers in Arms: Satan’s BBQ Pit of Death,” with a special commentary about the gore factor, probably won’t be an enjoyable read for your crocheting, knitting and tatting audience.  I’ve put forth the suggestion in the past that this is not MY site, it is EVERYONE’S site, and I will gladly pontificate on any subject any of my hordes of readers suggest.  I realized something terrible today, however, which made me inconsolable, disconsolate and other words with four or more syllables.  I have ignored some of my most frequent visitors to this site- bots.  Are bots alive?  Do they think, feel and desire?  I don’t know, but if I’ve learned anything from watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, it’s that we cannot simply lump something int ...

Phone Call for Joanne 2007-09-26 08:30:28 Last night I sat down and blogsurfed for a while.  Was feeling a Jersey Life Crisis.  It’s been almost a year since we left California, and I was pondering the who/what/when/where/how of the last year, which has been a doozy.  That led me to wonder what everyone was blogging about this time last year (I didn’t start blogging until November).  Eveyone was blogging about Darren Sherman.  Most of you webfolk are probably familiar with the tale of Darren and Joanne.  If you’re not, it’s here and here and here and here and here. The last link also features Darren’s voice mails to Joanne. The story was new to me, and new to DJ Jazzy Jeremiah (he’s a bullfrog), who was over visiting.  He took over the helm at Frog Bog HQ and revealed his always groovy take on the situation.  It’s here. darren sherman phat beatz rico suave - ...

8 Years and Counting 2007-09-25 14:09:54   Happy anniversary, Beth. love snugglebunnies how to make everyone who reads your blog barf - ...

The Cyberdyne Systems “Frogster” Model 2007-09-23 20:42:35 Well, I’m back.  I don’t really know where to stop with thanking you for the cool comments on my last post, so I’m not even gonna start.  But I am most grateful.  I will give a special thanks to Bobbarama for bestowing upon me his “Best Kept Secret” Award. It is proudly displayed on my sidebar.  Hopefully, it will be a stepping stone to the coveted “Poorly Kept Secret That Everyone Knows About” Award. This is gonna be like one of those “Wordless Wednesday” posts, where I just put up pictures, except it won’t be Wednesday.  …Okay, I put up the pictures and it seems I can’t help but to comment/narrate.  So it’s not going to be anything like a Wordless Wednesday.  So, we’ll drop the entire Wordless Wednesday thing completely.  I did go visit my father’s grave and spent some time with his wife on his birthday.  That was good, but not the kind of thing I want to rehash and dwell on.  I also ...

How To Shoot Yourself in the Flipper 2007-09-16 10:16:22 Before I started this blog, I did some research into what makes a blog successful.  Two primary suggestions kept popping up: 1.  Write about what you know. 2.  Don’t go topic-jumping willy-nilly.  My first ten posts dealt with origami (my knowledge level-0), dog shows (0), Yoda (10), poker (2), meth manufacturing (0) (really), Shakespeare (5), stock-picking (7), hang gliding (0), breakfast cereal (8) and road-tripping (10).  Obviously, I tried as hard as possible to sabotage the success of this blog.  These are heady times for The Frog Bog.  I just put up a post on The Blog Fairy’s Blue Ribbon Bloggers page and have met some cool bloggers over that way. Speedcat, Howard and Karen all gave me shout outs in the last couple of days, my new pal Meeyauw gave me an award and the review crowd from Humor-Blogs (note: this blog has 199 posts (not including this one) and is 44 weeks old, for a post rate of 4.522727 per week, to save you some arithmetic) is going to come ...

FROGCAMGATE!!! 2007-09-14 10:34:14 I can’t believe it.  Not even the blogosphere is safe.  Earlier this morning, as I was adjusting The Frogcam (check the post below for the HOTT and SEXXXY details) for optimal positionage to capture all of the wild and crazy antics of bloggery that went down here at The Frog Bog, I found ANOTHER webcam installed on the top of my computer.  Obviously, someone has been taping my typing, then burning CD’s of my fingers and giving them to linguists who analyze what I am going to post about while I am halfway though the post.  This, obviously, gives that spying Dick Dastardly an unfair advantage over me.  How much of an advantage?  I don’t know.  But that Lex Luthor wouldn’t have been spying on me if it didn’t give him/her SOME advantage.   As we all know in the blogging community, you’ve got to have your current events posts out before the newsprint is dry (or before the binary code is finished arranging itself, if it is an online source).  ...

The Frogcam (My Real-Time Nekkid Blogging Voyeur Webcam) 2007-09-13 00:29:25 Went out with my good pal who I’ll call Amy the other night.  She said she had to remove herself from a couple of internet dating sites because her email was getting cluttered with videos from men who wanted to met her.  Men who wanted to meet her, um, performing, as it were.  Performing acts.  Acts on themselves.  Look, I don’t want to have to draw you a picture.  We got to talking and wondered what good a webcam would be except for bedroom recreational activities.  Then, like a bolt of lightning from the right hand of Zeus himself, it hit me.  Blogging!  What could be more exciting than watching someone blog?  The answer is, of course, not a darned thing!  What else could compare with that kind of non-stop veritable thrill-o-rama?  Then, like a second bolt of lightning from Zeus’ left hand, it hit me again, though not as hard, because Zeus is a righty.  Nekkid blogging!   If you stop by this page regularly (and, really, there is no good reaso ... Blogging

He Wrote the Book on Wheezles 2007-09-12 17:19:26 Just today, in an email to my wife from an unnamed source, regarding this post: Dear Beth,   I hope your day is going well!  …Can you secure a print out of the picture of Karl on your patio reading Wheezles book for me?   Thanks!   Love, (name omitted) diesel anitsocial commentary wheezles - ...

Fever Dreams, 7-11 and NBA Superstardom 2007-09-12 11:41:19 I’m feeling pretty sick.  Been having those weird sick dreams you have when you’re under the weather.  Actually, given my personality, I’m sure that I have the same sort of weird dreams all the time, I just remember them better when I’m ill because I wake up more to sneeze or go potty.  Last night the best dream was that I went into a gym and Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat was there working out.  I told him I had never been able to dunk and he said that I could if only I knew his secret.  D-Wade told me the secret to dunking was to eat a 7-11 coffee roll, which surprised me, since the 7-11 coffee roll is $1.19 worth of everything that is bad for you.  I did, and the basket lowered itself to about 7 feet off the ground.  I took a ball and slammed it home with ease.  I looked at him and we started laughing at the rest of the world.  The fools!  Only WE had the secret!  Then the finals MVP drove me home in a big contractor’s van with no seats in t ...