The Frog Bog Pontification from the pond. It's funny. Except when it's not. But it usually is. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 0 0 26 1497

Articles from The Frog Bog

Not A Crummy Book At All 2007-11-21 09:10:47 Got my copy of Crummy Church signs Volume One (2004-2007) yesterday.  Now, the author, Joel Bezaire, is a reviewer at humor-blogs, so it would make sense to butter him up with a glowing “buy it now!” recommendation so he would look kindly upon my blog when reviewing it, and he’s also got an in at the humor-blogs bookstore, so he might be able to put in a good word for me and help me get a book included there.  The thing is, my blog has already been reviewed and I am not planning to self-publish anything in the near future.  So this review is completely legit. Crummy Church Signs Volume One (2004-2007) is currently sitting on The Cherished Place of Honor where all the funny books are.  You get the drift.     Three reasons I dig this book: 1.  It is easy to poke fun of something you don’t understand.  This is the source of much of our humor today, where a not very funny person can adopt an “I don’t get it” view about something, ...

An(other) Open Challenge To NASCAR Champion Jimmie Johnson 2007-11-19 09:23:52 PRELUDE TO THE PRELUDE (November 19, 2007):  This post seems as appropriate as when I first wrote it, because Jimmie Johnson just won the NASCAR title yesterday.  In honor of this occasion and Mr. Johnson’s lack of response to the challenge I threw down LAST YEAR, and because no one except my dad read my blog when I first put this post up, and because I’m busy, I’m throwing my challenge down again, twice as hard.  PRELUDE (August 19, 2007): My father was my most regular reader when I started this blog. He LOVED this post, originally put up in November of 2006, and mentioned it almost every time I saw him for the last three months of his life. So it was, is and will continue to be one of My Greatest Hits. (NOTE: In light of NASCAR’s fierce protectiveness of its brand name, second only to that company with the castle and fireworks and magical moments, I will try to insure that in this post I use the NASCAR monker with all due respect and appropriateness. ...

What’s In My Bag- A Meme Dispatched 2007-11-15 22:28:04 Soil your ducky print nightwear, fragile organisms!  This is Grundir the Implausible, I mean Implacable.  The Frogster requested my presence to dispatch a meme, and my lord Diesel obliged.  Cower, um, thoughtless meme-taggers!  Thou shalt taste my iron, I mean, steel!         Theresa tagged The Frogster with a meme she called, “What’s in Your Bag, Or Something Along Those Lines.”  Well, Theresa, I’ll tell you what’s in MY bag.  The Rapier of Meme Justice.  Behold the Rapier and quake with fear!  I mean, I don’t have The Rapier with me.  It’s in the shop.  But just the thought of it should make you quake, I mean, QUAKE!  Why aren’t you quaking?   Read that last part in a deep, scary voice!  Sigh.  This isn’t working, is it?  Drat.  Hold on a sec.  Let me take this mask off.         It’s just that Grundir has been popping up everywhere and I thought it would be cool if he filled in her ...

Vladimir Putin’s Dog (Yet Another Exclusive Frog Bog Interview) 2007-11-13 08:40:37 Another post today from the desk of The Frog Bog Topic Suggestion Board, AKA Theresa.  Well, the post isn’t from her desk, but the idea is.  Was.  Whatever.    THE FROGSTER:  “We all recall the dark days of The Cold War, except Lisa, who is too young.  But those of us in grade school in the 1970’s remember being told that as long as we hid under our desks when the nukes from The USSR hit our school, we’d be just fine.  Yikes. We’ve come a long way since then.  We’ve learned that your average American and your average Russian want the same things- to find a soulmate, to have enough money to pay the bills, to be able to express themselves freely, and to win ESPN’s ‘Pigskin Pick’em.’  (Look at me on the screenshot I took from ESPN just this morning.  I don’t want to shrink it because it becomes illegible.  The leader Kevin Staats is at 107, Joe Messina is at 105, and there are about ten of us at 104.  A ...

One Year 2007-11-10 18:20:47 On the one year anniversary of The Frog Bog, the scoop is that I’ve been doing so much writing lately that I just don’t have anything of interest to put up.  My writing brain cells are out of juice.  The only news on this auspicious occasion is that I took the Google ads off this site.  When I put ads up, I thought “Yeah, I’m only making 34 cents per month now, but just wait until I get 100 visitors per day.”  Well, many days I do now, and the revenue just isn’t worth seeing ads every time I look at my own site.  I’m not so great when it comes to checking my messages on the MyBlogLog or Blog Catalog thingies, but I’m grateful to my regular (and irregular) readers.  That’s irregular as in “not consistent,” by the way, not irregular as in “weird.” As far as “People Who Are The Reason Why I Am Still Blogging,” well, they are right there on the sidebar under the “Frogroll” category. ...

Our Big Trip Part 13- Ohio, Illinois and Maryland 2007-11-07 09:17:20 It’s been a while since I put an episode of Our Big Trip up at The Frog Bog. The background info about our big trip is here.  Correction Department: First, we here at www.k&b.com (Ed. Note: karlandbeth.com was our web site while we were traveling.) would like you to notice how prominently our corrections section is displayed. None of that sissy “hide the corrections at the bottom of page 34 under the ‘recent poultry births’ column” nonsense. No sir. We here pride ourselves on journalistic integrity, and we own up to our mistakes. Avid reader Noah Baerman of Middletown, CT, sent in this correction (Ed. Note: On my previous update I typoed by bemoaning not visiting Stax while in Detroit): “hey karl & beth, first things first, i would be remiss not to point out an error in your recent update. hate to start with that, but . . . the famous record label that was located in detroit was motown, home to smokey robinson, stevie wonder, the supremes, ...

The Fearless Frog’s Stock Picks For November 5, 2007, Or Don’t Make Me Spit On You 2007-11-05 09:40:14 The background info about The Fearless Frog is here. The more recent background info about TFF’s patented Alphabetic Inversion and Chart Reversal Strategy is here. The next chapter in my “Things I Put In My Mouth While Trading Stock Options for a Living” series is a little bit yucky.  It involves a pen.  After I had turned myself into “Blue” by eating pens and I punctured my tongue with a toothpick, I decided I needed to stop chewing on things.  This probably lasted about three hours.  One day I was chomping on a pen (I had, by this time, learned to leave the cap on the pen) when a broker came into the pit and called out that he wanted to buy a particular option for a particular price.  I called out “SOLD!”  and extended my hand toward him.  My hand holding the pen.  The pen with the cap on which I had been chewing.  Chewing a lot. And it came to pass that I dumped a blob of spit on the head of the trader standing in front of me, who ...

Blogging Mastery And Helping The Grammacatible Challenged 2007-11-02 08:56:35 First, thanks to all for the kind words regarding my family.  Mom is still sick, but not life-threateningly so.  Beth and I hope she’ll be well enough to come up here for the holidays.  Thanks again.  You guys are great. Now then.  It’s taken me almost a year, but I have found the secret to having a successful blog.  It’s quite easy, really.  Okay, get out your notebooks.  The rules for having a blog lots of people come to visit are: 1.  Stop blogging.  Really.  It worked for me.  I received 50% more visits the last week (while I wasn’t online) than I usually do.  Go figure. This means that my most successful posts must be the ones I don’t put up.  However, I’m going to take a chance at infuriating my readers and put up a post today.  I’m doing this because The Frog Bog is about helping.  It’s about public service.  It’s about finding the potato chip bag of need and carefully opening the vacuum packing of servi ... Blogging

See Ya 2007-10-27 16:11:00 Hi all.  I have some pretty funny posts half-written and it looks like I got a positive review from the good folks at humor blogs.  Some new folks are stopping by and this blog is getting some attention.  In my typical style, this means that I am taking off for a while.  Many of you know my father just died a few months ago very suddenly.  I received word a couple of hours ago that my mother is in the hospital in Florida.  So I’m out of here.  Thanks for stopping by.  See you when I return online.    The Frogster - ...

North American Van Lines 2007-10-25 11:16:02 I like to have fun and acknowledge cool people on this site- you know, give shout outs to my favorite bloggers, promote my musician friends, etc.  So, on the one-year anniversary of our big move east, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at the people who made moving such a wonderful experience.  Got too much money?  Of course you do.  Holding on to too many pieces of expensive memorabilia from inconsequential events such as your wedding day?  Of course you are.  Well, I have the perfect solution for you… North American Van Lines.  Yes, sir.  They will empty your wallet and get rid of those silly knick knacks taking up space on your mantle.  Let me tell you how North American helped my lovely wife and I.  On the loading end, it is the customer’s responsibility to pay for a second shuttle truck if the big truck won’t fit.  On the receiving end, it’s the driver’s responsibility.  Miraculously, the driver Tex (who never even exited his ...

The Importance of Moon-Based Nanite Android Clones 2007-10-23 09:58:34 A couple of days ago The Frog Bog received a comment by Sisli that read: “after reading your posts i wanted to know your numbering for the below: 1. moon will be our next communication base 2. microscopic nanobots in the air will be the future pc 3. our clone androids will colonize planets maybe starting with mars. 4. Biosuit will be made first for the wealthy for interaction away from the virtual world. Please email or post a reply. I am curious to know your opinion.” As far as my chronological numbering for them goes, I’d have to say 4, 1, 2, 3.  It has always been safer to be wealthy, and I don’t see that changing.  And all that has to happen is for one country to pack an extra bag of fertilizer in their satellite gun and shoot it to the moon, then there will be another machismo-infused space race and within a couple of years The Sea of Tranquility will look like The Vegas Strip. As far as numbering them in order of importance, I’d go with 3, 2, 1, ...

The Fearless Frog’s Stock Picks for October 22, 2007, or How I Started the Tongue Piercing Phenomenon 2007-10-22 13:08:40 I like visiting Lisa’s (the “Insatiable: the girl” girl) place, and you do too, right?  She’s awesome.  As a public service announcement, I’d like to help spread the word that she’s had some ISP difficulties or hosting difficulties or just bloggiculties in general, and since most everyone who has linked to her has bookmarked her page that no longer exists, no one can find her these days.  She’s still around, though.  Her new place is http://www.idontthinkitsgoingtorain.com/.  Change your bookmarks and check her out in her latest (and hopefully permanent) home. I’ve finally gotten over the flu and am up and running.  Well, not running.  Monday I go biking. Tuesday is running day.  But Monday is most definitely Fearless Frog time. The background info about The Fearless Frog is here. The more recent background info about TFF’s patented Alphabetic Inversion and Chart Reversal Strategy is here. Yes, along with my thousands of ...

A Day In The Life With The Flu 2007-10-18 08:15:38 I’ve got the flu today, oh boy My throat, my stomach and my head all ache. After I tried to eat breakfast, Well, I just had to barf. I should have worn a scarf. I drink my juice up every day, Especially when I’m just not feeling well. A lot of people skip breakfast, But that’s not good for you. I hope those antioxidants will beat the influenza down. I had to sneeze today, oh boy, Sinuses jammed like The Jersey Turnpike. With all these boogers to and fro, My breathing just won’t flow, I have to blow my nose. I’d love to blow yours tooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeoo. Woke up, got off the couch, Had a backache, I can vouch. Drank my orange juice and I had to poo, I turned around, and headed for the loo. (pant pant pant pant) Made the toilet room in time, It was vacant, so I was fine. Had a coughing spell and I almost wheezed, Somehow I sneezed and my throat really hurt. Ow, ow ow ow, ow ow ow-ee, ow ow ow!  Had a cough drop toda ...

Homemade Flu 2007-10-16 12:38:10 Sorry, folks.  I’m fluing and planning to use my blog time to rest on the couch.  If you’re looking for something funny, check this out.  I especially think Maureen will enjoy it. While you’re here, perhaps you can solve a problem.  Take two random people, like, say, my lovely wife and I.  Imagine these two people are having a discussion about brownies.  The brownies came from a box.  Two possibilities: 1.  The brownies are homemade, because they were assembled at home.  They are not from scratch, but they are still homemade. 2.  The brownies are not homemade, because “homemade” and “from scratch” are synonyms, and the brownies are not from scratch.  Are the brownies homemade?  Hopefully I’ll be on the mend tomorrow and back to my usual incredibly entertaining self. the sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so you can rest brownies - ...

The Fearless Frog’s Stock Picks for October 15, 2007, Or Eschew What You’re Chewing 2007-10-15 09:56:40 I haven’t put up a TFF post for a couple of weeks, due to reader requests and my incredibly hot, happening and rapid-fire lifestyle, but finally things have slowed down enough at The Frog Bog to get one in. The background info about The Fearless Frog is here. The more recent background info about TFF’s patented Alphabetic Inversion and Chart Reversal Strategy is here. Now, a brief service announcement from the trenches.  When I first started trading on the floor of The Pacific Exchange, I got swept away by the excitement.  10 years ago, trading floors (before electronic trading took over the industry) were the only place one could trade stock options.  The P-Coast (as we called it), being located just an hour north of Silicon Valley Ground Zero, was the place to go to trade most of the high-tech stocks (Adobe, Compaq, Sun, Microsoft, etc.), and while the internet boom was going on, a very busy place.  I started trading in Compaq.  When you are first trading in a bu ...