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Articles from Dailywaste.com Humor and Funny Pics |
Sore Throat - Joke of the Day
2008-01-04 17:05:19
A man with a terrible sore throat walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something to relieve it, and the pharmacist says: “Well, I could give you any number of things but they won’t really do you much good. However, I can tell you what I do when I have a bad sore throat like you have.”
“Really? What’s that?” asks the man.
“I go straight home and have my wife give me a good blow job. I
suggest you try that.”
“Sounds great!” says the man, “Is your wife home now?” ...
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January 3 - On this day
2008-01-03 16:06:16
1431 - Joan of Arc is handed over to the Bishop Pierre Cauchon.
1958 - The West Indies Federation is formed.
1959 - Alaska is admitted as the 49th U.S. State.
1977 - Apple Computer is incorporated.
2007 - National Express has its worst ever coach crash just outside Heathrow Airport. ...
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Golf Accident - Joke of the Day
2008-01-03 16:04:29
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, “Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow.”
“Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I’ll be all right…I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him.
She then asked him, &ld ...
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January 1 - On this day
2008-01-01 13:22:03
1651 - Charles II is crowned King of Scotland.
1806 - The French Republican Calendar is abolished.
1890 - First use of football goal nets in England.
1994 - The European Economic Area comes into effect.
1999 - The Euro currency is introduced. ...
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Why its great to be a guy - Joke of the Day
2008-01-01 13:12:25
Why its great to be a guy…
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview
Your last name stays put.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can be president.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
Same work… more pay.
Wrinkles add character
You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
All your orgasms are real.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
One mood, all the time. ...
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December 31 - On this day
2007-12-31 11:05:36
1831 - Gramercy Park is deeded to New York City.
1857 - Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom chooses Ottawa, Ontario, as the capital of Canada.
1909 - Manhattan Bridge opens.
1997 - Quaker Oats settles a lawsuit involving the immoral use of child subjects in radioactivity experiments from around 1945-1956.
2004 - The official opening of Taipei 101, the current tallest skyscraper in the world, standing at a height of 509 metres (1,670 feet). ...
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Cross-eyed Dog - Joke of the Day
2007-12-31 10:39:53
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, “My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?”
“Well,” said the vet “let’s have a look at him” The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes.
“Well,” says the vet “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“Just because he’s cross-eyed?” say’s the man.
“No, because he’s heavy,” says the vet. ...
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