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Articles from Dailywaste.com Humor and Funny Pics |
January 16 - On this day
2008-01-16 17:42:42
1556 - Philip II becomes King of Spain.
1777 - Vermont declares its independence from New York.
1991 - The United States goes to war with Iraq, beginning the Gulf War (U.S. Time).
1986 - First meeting of the Internet Engineering Task Force.
2006 - Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf is sworn in as Liberia’s new president. She becomes Africa’s first female elected head of state.
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Reality of Heaven - Joke of the Day
2008-01-16 17:39:43
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.”
“Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”
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January 15 - On this day
2008-01-15 15:09:09
1759 - The British Museum opens.
1885 - Wilson Bentley takes the first photograph of a snowflake.
1936 - The first building to be completely covered in glass is completed in Toledo, Ohio (the building was for the Owens-Illinois Glass Company).
1975 - Portugal grants independence to Angola.
2005 - An intense solar flare blasts X-rays across the solar system.
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10 things in golf that sound wrong - Joke of the Day
2008-01-15 15:01:55
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
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First Sunday - Movie to see this weekend (January 12, 2007)
2008-01-12 17:59:11
Durell and LeeJohn are best friends and bumbling petty criminals. When Durell learns that his ex-girlfriend plans to move to another state with their son unless they can get her $17,000 to pay off a debt they come up with a desperate scheme to rob their neighborhood church. But when the duo fumbles their way through the break-in, they discover someone has beaten them to the punch. In order to get their hands on the money, Durell and LeeJohn are forced to spend the night in the presence of the Lord and his followers and end up getting a lot more than they bargained for.
Trailer
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January 10 - On this day
2008-01-10 11:26:59
1776 - Thomas Paine publishes Common Sense.
1941 - World War II: The Greek army captures Kleisoura.
1999 - The HBO television series The Sopranos first airs.
2000 - America Online announces an agreement to buy Time Warner for $162 billion, the largest corporate merger in history at the time.
2008 - First Open web awards. Daily Waste is attending! ...
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Stuck in a ditch - Joke of the Day
2008-01-10 11:24:43
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.
Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, pull!” Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
“Well… Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!” ...
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