Articles from Dailywaste.com Humor and Funny Pics |
February 1 - On this day
2008-02-01 14:12:28
1861 - American Civil War: Texas secedes from the United States.
1924 - The United Kingdom recognizes USSR.
1969 - Saturday mail delivery in Canada is eliminated.
1996 - The Communications Decency Act is passed by the U.S. Congress.
2005 - Canada introduces the Civil Marriage Act, making Canada the fourth country to sanction same-sex marriage.
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Retirement Day - Joke of the Day
2008-02-01 14:10:15
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill stickin ...
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January 31 - On this day
2008-01-31 13:01:22
1747 - The first venereal diseases clinic opens at London Lock Hospital.
1930 - 3M begins marketing Scotch Tape.
1956 - Guy Mollet becomes Prime Minister of France.
1968 - Nauru declares independence from Australia.
2003 - The Waterfall train disaster occurs near Waterfall, New South Wales, Australia.
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Physics - Joke of the Day
2008-01-31 12:59:53
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
“Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”
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January 30 - On this day
2008-01-30 16:27:26
1847 - Yerba Buena, California is renamed San Francisco.
1933 - Adolf Hitler is sworn in as Chancellor of Germany.
1976 - George H. W. Bush becomes the 11th director of the CIA.
1989 - The American embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan closes.
2003 - Belgium legally recognizes same-sex marriage.
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Vacuum Salesman - Joke of the Day
2008-01-30 16:25:41
A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don’t do wonders cleaning up that horse crap, I’ll eat every chunk of it.”
She turns to him with a smirk and says, “You want ketchup on that?”
He Salesman says, “why do you ask?”
She says “We just moved in and we haven’t got the electricity turned on yet.”
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January 29 - On this day
2008-01-29 13:10:26
1863 - Bear River Massacre.
1886 - Karl Benz patents the first successful gasoline-driven automobile.
1900 - The American League is organized in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with 8 founding teams.
1996 - La Fenice, Venice’s opera house, is destroyed by fire.
2002 - In his State of the Union Address, United States President George W. Bush describes “regimes that sponsor terror” as an Axis of Evil, in which he includes Iraq, Iran and North Korea.
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Blonde in first Class - Joke of the Day
2008-01-29 13:09:08
A blonde walks into the airplane and sits in 1st Class and the stewardess asks her for her ticket. The stewardess tells her that she only has a coach ticket.
The blonde says, “I’m a cute looking blonde and I’m flying first class.”
The stewardess replies that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta….
The blonde then retorts, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class”.
Just then the captain happened by and asked what was happening….
The blonde tells him, “I’m a cute blonde and I’m flying first class….
The captain whispers in her ear…and the blonde gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach cabin…
The stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move so fast..
He replied, “I told her that 1st class is not going to Atlanta.”
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Accouting Job - Joke of the Day
2008-01-28 11:53:50
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a highly agitated, arrogant little man who ran a small business that he had started from scratch.
“I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”
“How’s that?” the would be accountant asked.
“I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.”
“I see,” the accountant said. “And how much will my position pay?”
“I’ll start you at eighty five thousand,” responded the owner decisively.
“Eighty five thousand dollars!” the accountant exclaimed. “How can such a small business afford a sum like that?”
“That,” the owner said, “is your first worry. No ...
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