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Articles from Dailywaste.com Humor and Funny Pics |
December 20 - On this day
2007-12-20 12:39:40
1803 - The Louisiana Purchase is completed at a ceremony in New Orleans.
1835 - First signing of the Texas Declaration of Independence at Goliad, Texas.
1942 - World War II: Bombing of Calcutta by the Japanese.
1995 - NATO begins peacekeeping in Bosnia.
1996 - NeXT merges with Apple Computer, starting the path to Mac OS X. ...
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Christmas Thank You Note - Joke of the Day
2007-12-20 12:10:33
One Christmas, mom decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties.
As a result, their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given.
The next year things were different, however.
“The children came over in person to thank me,” the grandparent told a friend triumphantly.
“How wonderful!” the friend exclaimed. “What do you think caused the change in behavior?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” the grandmother replied. “This year I didn’t sign the checks.” ...
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December 19 - On this day
2007-12-19 13:59:20
1154 - Henry II becomes King of England.
1843 - Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” first edition published in England.
1941 - World War II: Adolf Hitler becomes Supreme Commander-in-Chief of the German Army.
1983 - The original FIFA World Cup trophy, the Jules Rimet Trophy, is stolen from the headquarters of the Brazilian Football Confederation in Rio de Janeiro.
1998 - Lewinsky scandal: The United States House of Representatives forwards articles I and III of impeachment against President Bill Clinton to the Senate. ...
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Blonde Girl Driving - Joke of the Day
2007-12-19 13:54:52
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?”
The blonde said, “I’m sorry sir, but wherever I go, there’s always a tree in front of me and I can’t seem to get away from it!”
The cop looked at her and said, “Lady, that’s your air freshener!” ...
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December 18 - On this day
2007-12-18 17:04:11
1787 - New Jersey becomes the third state to ratify the U.S. Constitution.
1892 - The first performance of Tchaikovsky’s ballet The Nutcracker is held at the Mariinsky Theatre in St. Petersburg, Russia.
1932 - The Chicago Bears defeat the Portsmouth Spartans 9-0 in the first ever NFL Championship Game. Because of a blizzard, the game was moved from Wrigley Field to the Chicago Stadium, the field measuring 80 yards long.
1944 - World War II: 77 B-29 Superfortress and 200 other aircraft of U.S. Fourteenth Air Force bomb Hankow, China, a Japanese supply base.
2006 - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld resigns, Robert Gates is sworn in as the new Secretary of Defense. ...
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Singing Christmas Present - Joke of the Day
2007-12-18 17:00:33
There was a man who wanted to find the perfect gift for his wife. He went to the store and asked the salesclerk and asked him what he should get his wife. The salesclerk brought out a parrot. The salesclerk said, this is no ordinary parrot, if you light a match under it’s right foot, it plays Silent Night, if you light a match under it’s left foot, it plays Santa Claus is Coming to Town. The salesclerk made sure to tell him that the name of the parrot is Chet.
The man thought it would be great, so he took it home. He let his wife open it early, since it was a living thing. He told her what great songs it played. They wondered what it would play if they lit a match under it’s crotch. So, they did. The parrot sang “Chet’s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire.” ...
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December 17 - On this day
2007-12-17 14:04:13
1600 - Marriage of Henry IV of France and Marie de’ Medici.
1718 - Great Britain declares war on Spain.
1862 - American Civil War: General Ulysses S. Grant issues General Order No. 11, expelling Jews from Tennessee, Mississippi, and Kentucky.
1973 - Terrorism: 30 passengers are killed in an attack by Palestinian terrorists on Rome’s Leonardo da Vinci Airport.
1989 - First free elections in Brazil in 25 years. ...
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Pick Up Lines - Joke of the Day
2007-12-17 13:37:06
I see you’ve got arms, I’ve got them too! We should hook up sometime!
Do you want a hotdog to go with those buns?
Do you carry another weapon with you besides your eyes?
I would give up eternity to be with you.
Is there an airport near by or is that my heart taking off?
You know your good enough to give my last name to.
I got skittles in my mouth… wanna taste the rainbow?
You look like a tall glass of water, I wanna drink you up.
I love you like pigs love mud.
Want to compare tan lines?
Should i call you in the morning or just nudge you?
How long did it take you to walk around the sun to look that hot and be that sexy. ...
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