Articles from ACT Professional Counseling

What is intimacy and why is it so important?
2007-07-19 12:25:00
What is intimacy and why is it so importantIntimacy is about being emotionally close to your partner, about being able to let your guard down, and let him or her know how you really feel. Intimacy is also about being able to accept and share in your partner's feelings, about being there when he/she wants to let their defences down.We all have an `inner world' of feelings and experiences, the world of our day dreams, hopes, fears, hurts and memories, the world of our 'inner-most' thoughts. To be able to share our 'inner-world' with a partner we love, and to be able to share our partner's experiences, is one of the most rewarding aspects of a relationship.Intimacy often doesn't need words, but being able to put feelings and experiences into words makes intimacy more likely to occur. Intimacy involves being able to share the whole range of feelings and experiences we have as human beings - pain and sadness, as well as happiness and love.Most of us, however, find it easier to share ...

Example of how Stress can effect Children
2007-07-18 17:45:00
Example of how Stress can effect Children Uploaded by Peyton on Jun 15, 2006 Disturbing, resilience, and courageous are merely a glimpse of how impacting the story of Mary Karr’s life was growing up as a child in an unpredictable home life. Reading about situations that Mary and her sister experienced made me think about my own childhood with its crisis and misfortunes. I myself have never come close to experiencing anything in my life like she had, but how she described the situations she endured made me feel her frustrations and vulnerabilities. Even with the difference in the time era from today Mary’s traumatic and stressful childhood growing up in the 60’s coincides with what we have been learning in this class. There are many examples that can be related to the information about stress and how it affects children in today’s society. The way she starts her memoir is like she is unfolding memories she had tucked away during the pecks of the stressful and at many times tr ...
Children

Job Stress can affect your children
2007-07-18 17:39:00
Job stress can affect your childrenWorking parents often bring a bad day home to their kidsLiveScienceUpdated: 6:40 a.m. AKT Jan 25, 2007NEW YORK - Working parents might think they leave it at the office, but kids know better. Whether adults realize it or not, their job-related stress affects their children, scientists said here this week at the annual meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association.Over the past 30 years, time spent at the office has jumped 10 hours a week. And one in three employees in the United States reports feeling chronically overworked, said Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute in New York.“By all of our measures, jobs have become much more hectic and demanding," Galinsky said. "People feel like they don’t have enough time to get everything done.” And that includes spending time, let alone quality time, with childrenEven if parents bring no actual work home, they definitely carry the residual impact of their day in the office. ...
Children

Weathering our Feelings
2007-07-17 12:32:00
Weathering our feelingsPosted by Wendy in Health, Love & Relationships, Power & Energy, Sustainability, FamiliesOur feelings are like weather patterns. They are changeable and act on the environment with great power. They inform and distract with their intensity. They reflect the nature of the moment with great accuracy. Just as our changing weather patterns are shifting and changing the world we live in, our ability to experience and share our feelings in meaningful ways has the power to shift the emotional landscape of our lives.Yet feelings are for many people a locked box: an experience that overwhelms and is difficult to express. We are taught in a variety of circumstances and for a variety of reasons to suppress our feelings. We learn to silence our feelings so well that the messages in our bodies are not even discernable. Suppressed feelings are not as invisible as you might think. They take on a life in our dreams and eventually become diseases in our bodies. Our inability to e ...

Why Do we fall in Love?
2007-07-17 12:23:00
Why Do We Fall in Love?Loving and being loved adds richness to our lives. When people feel close to others they are happier and even healthier. Love helps us feel important, understood, and secure.But each kind of love has its own distinctive feel. The kind of love we feel for a parent is different from our love for a baby brother or best friend. And the kind of love we feel in romantic relationships is its own unique type of love.Our ability to feel romantic love develops during adolescence. Teens all over the world notice passionate feelings of attraction. Even in cultures where people are not allowed to act on or express these feelings, they're still there. It's a natural part of growing up to develop romantic feelings and sexual attractions to others. These new feelings can be exciting — or even confusing at first.The Magical Ingredients of Love RelationshipsLove is such a powerful human emotion that experts are constantly studying it. They've discovered that love has three ma ...

Add Trust to your Relationship
2007-07-16 10:44:00
Add Trust To Your Relationshipby S. A. BakerTrust is something that is important to every single relationship you have. No matter if it is a relationship of friends, family, or even a relationship of lovers; trust must be there to make it successful. So, if you are noticing a lack of trust within your relationship, how can you get trust back into your relationship? How can trust be incorporated into your life, daily? How can you trust if you’ve been hurt in relationships before?It is hard to add trust into a relationship that is already damaged. But, it is necessary in the most immediate way. Relationships are built on qualities like trust. If the trust in your relationship is week, chances are good that the relationship will suffer in the long run. If you are constantly questioning or worry about your relationship, then you have no trust in your partner. If you trust in them, then you know that they have your best interests at their heart just as you do for them.To add trust to your ...

Impact of Parental Conflict and Childrens Futures
2007-07-16 10:28:00
New studies confirm impact of parental conflict on children's futuresBy William G. GilroyTwo new studies lend further support to research by E. Mark Cummings, a University of Notre Dame professor of psychology, on the impact of parental conflict behavior on their children's future behavior.Cummings, the Notre Dame Professor of Psychology, and researchers from Rochester University and the Catholic University of America, found that the manner in which parents handle everyday marital conflicts has a significant effect on how secure their children feel, and, in turn, significantly affects their future emotional adjustment."A useful analogy is to think about emotional security as a bridge between the child and the world," Cummings said. "When the marital relationship is functioning well, it serves as a secure base, a structurally sound bridge to support the child's exploration and relationships with others."When destructive marital conflict erodes the bridge, children may lack confidence ...

Healing
2007-07-11 12:00:00
I am the healing force. I trust in the movement of love. I release myself (my family, my friends [can name them individually]) into the hands of love. I am the love in all things. I have no need to hold on to anything because I am the love in all things. It is safe for me to let go of all worry and just reveal the love that I am. It is okay for me to just be. I let go of all responsibility except the responsibility to be love. I trust in the power of love to heal my body. I trust in the love given to me by my doctors (family, friends, etc.) to help my body heal itself. I let go of all worry about the future, knowing that as I yield to love, the very best things possible will happen. I have no need to worry about anyone or anything. I can just be. When I feel afraid, I love my fear.When I feel anxious, I love my anxiety. When I start to feel that I need to be in control, I love my feeling that I need to be in control. I am not afraid of any of my feelings. I love all my feelings. All my ...

HEALING
2007-07-11 11:37:00
I am the healing force. I trust in the movement of love. I release myself (my family, my friends [can name them individually]) into the hands of love. I am the love in all things. I have no need to hold on to anything because I am the love in all things. It is safe for me to let go of all worry and just reveal the love that I am. It is okay for me to just be. I let go of all responsibility except the responsibility to be love. I trust in the power of love to heal my body. I trust in the love given to me by my doctors (family, friends, etc.) to help my body heal itself. I let go of all worry about the future, knowing that as I yield to love, the very best things possible will happen. I have no need to worry about anyone or anything. I can just be. When I feel afraid, I love my fear.When I feel anxious, I love my anxiety. When I start to feel that I need to be in control, I love my feeling that I need to be in control. I am not afraid of any of my feelings. I love all my feelings. All my ...

Overcoming Fear
2007-07-10 11:38:00
Overcoming Fear, Uncertainty & Doubt by John D. Moore, MS, CADCFour things you can do to chase away the enemies of goal attainment & move onto reaching you dreams!When he was 32, Dylan fulfilled his longtime dream of becoming a professional body builder. For him, winning first place in the state championship was even more spectacular than he had imagined. Now he set a new goal that would drive his decision making process for the next decade: To become a professional trainer to those who desired to improve their physical appearance. Today, Dylan is runs a thriving business and clears nearly six figures a year.Achieving his goals was anything but easy, because along the way, many people attempted to dissuade him off his path through the use of FUD. Simply put, FUD is Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. It is quite possibly the most powerful weapon that others will use against you to prevent you from reaching your lifetime goals. Sometimes the use of FUD is insidious, cloaked in a message that i ...

TIPS FOR HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
2007-07-09 11:49:00
TIPS FOR HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGETen ways of increasing happiness in your marriage and making it a successful one. The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.Enter the Marriage With the Right Intention and Renew this OftenDo Not Hold Unrealistic ExpectationsEmphasize the Best in Your SpouseBe Your Mate's Best FriendSpend Quality Time TogetherExpress Feelings OftenAdmit to Mistakes and Ask for ForgivenessNever Bring Up Mistakes of the PastSurprise Each Other at TimesHave a Sense of HumorQuick Tips for Discussions and DisagreementsBegin with the intention t ...
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Living, Loving and Learning
2007-07-08 14:40:00
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.To reach out for another is to risk involvement.To expose feelings is to risk rejection.To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.To love is to risk not being loved in return.To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.He has forfeited his freedom.Only a person who takes risks is free.From the book Living, Loving and Learningby Dr. Leo Buscaglia ...

Does Couples Counseling Work?
2007-07-08 11:59:00
Couples counseling can indeed work very well to rescue a faltering relationship. It can also improve relationships that aren't particularly troubled. Of course, there are no guarantees in life, so whether it is successful for any specific couple will depend on a number of factors.There are several things that it helps to know when beginning couples counseling. One is that if you're expecting the counselor to agree with you about all your mate's shortcomings, you're going to be disappointed. A good counselor will help a couple recognize the real problem areas and find ways to deal with their issues appropriately, often in ways that can actually strengthen the relationship. But it's not about who's right and who's wrong or taking sides in any way. It's about the relationship and making it as good as possible for both partners.Another good thing to know is that often whether couples counseling is successful or not depends on whether both people are willing to see it through and wo ...

Loyalty
2007-07-06 11:09:00
Sunday, June 24, 2007I came to the bay area alone. I leave the bay area alone. Packing alone, cleaning out my Oakland apartment alone, seeing myself off. I guess I didn’t come here so much to develop roots, although in some fundamental way this occurred. I came to really understand what roots are. It is a hard lesson to learn. I came to love so many people in the bay area and I learned more about myself by loving these people. I cannot move on without making note of this. Otherwise the pain, struggle, and tears would have been in vain. Although we won’t be living or working within the same physical community, there are very few loved ones who are deeply rooted in my heart for life.I have learned the importance of loyalty. Being loyal and learning to identify and appreciate those who are loyal are essential to building fam. Loyalty is a major aspect of how a person’s character is determined. Loyalty is defined by the ability to be consistently reliable in their word and action. A ...

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