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Pirate Master Recap - 5/31/07 (Episode 1) 2007-05-31 21:50:38 Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate’s life for me! Tonight, for a crew of 16 would-be pirates began the adventure of a lifetime! The crew seems to be the usual assortment of characters that you get on most reality shows. All of them were very full of themselves. One in particular stood out. John (the Scientist/Exotic Dancer) seemed like he was going to be the freak of the show. He was getting on people’s nerves during the first night’s meet and greet. The first time we saw him my son asked “Is that Sanjaya?” Supposedly the crew had all sailed before but you couldn’t prove it by me. The couldn’t haul on a line in unison, some of the crew seemed a little shy of climbing the ratlines to set sail, and before they had even reached the island joy was seasick and chunking over the side of the ship (some pirate, eh?). The Zanzibar Chest The story for the show states that the notorious (fictitious) Captain Steel divided his treasure in 14 parts a buried the ... Pirate

Pirate Master Preview - 5/31/07 (Week 1) 2007-05-31 12:14:38 Ahoy me hearties! Arrgh! Tonight be the night that Pirate Master starts! Starting this show the week after Pirates of the Caribbean 3 came out was a brilliant move on CBS’s part. I was excited about this show when I first wrote the preview for the series for WBM. Once I saw Pirates of the Caribbean 3 over the weekend though I was totally ready for more pirates! Even though the show looks really cheesy, I can’t help being excited about it. The problem of course is that I’m so up for this show now, that the chances of me being disappointed are high. Make sure to check back and I let you know if it sails or if it should be sent to Davy Jones’ Locker! Arrgh! This is going to be great! If nothing else it will be an entire season of reviews where I get to talk like a pirate! Shiver me timbers! Arrgh! Check out the rest of our Pirate Master coverage. SirLinksALot: Pirate Master ... Pirate

Coming Soon: DOA: Dead or Alive - Worst Movie Ever? 2007-05-31 12:00:27 I think I read about this at the end of the Bible. After this gets released there should be three more horsemen and then that’s it, we’re all done for. How does this crap even get made, much lease released?? Everything about it is completely absurd. Let me back up. Dead or Alive (DOA) was originally a fighter video game way back in the day (1996), like Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter. It than progressed through several revisions and sequels and revisions of sequels and sequels of revisions until it came to Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball (2003). This is pretty much where things got silly. Just like the title says, it was about volleyball, well that and bouncing breasts. Seriously. So here we are today with DOA quickly approaching a release date (supposedly June 15 or 22) after setting dormant since completion back in mid-2005. What really blows my mind is the budget this thing got… $21 million!! Hey Hollywood, I just took a dump in a bag and am ...

American Idol: NBC 4th of July Special 2007-05-31 11:13:24 In case you’re going through American Idol withdrawal following last week’s finale show like the rest of us then there’s still hope. NBC is going to air a special on July 4th this year with the top 3 contestants from this season of American Idol. Oh yes. Not just this season’s winner Jordin Sparks or Blake Lewis, but we’ll get another serving of Melinda Doolittle’s talented voice. All three singers will be on stage together performing together for the event. Those three performers won’t be the sole singing event though. Martina McBride will be joining the show to perform her song “Anyway” just as she did back on April 17th on American Idol. This NBC event will be hosted by Natalie Morales and Tiki Barber and will also feature a very healthy dose of fireworks. The network described the display as “nearly 35,000 brilliant shells exploding over New York City”. Yes, I looked for the 30 Rock video clip where Ja ... American Idol

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Release Date Moved Up 2007-05-31 10:55:30 Alright all you Harry Potter fanatics, today you get to rejoice and dance around like the crazies you are. “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” will be opening in U.S. theaters two days earlier than planned. So instead of the huge stretch until July 13 you only have to wait until July 11, 2007. Now if you were really such a Harry Potter fan you’d already have tickets booked to Tokyo where the world premiere will take place on June 28. If you can’t swing Tokyo there is always the London premiere on July 3. (What’s up with these Tokyo world premieres these days?) If you haven’t pre-ordered your copy of the final book in the series, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”, there’s still time before it’s release on July 21, 2007. In the mean time, check out the trailer and details for the upcoming Harry Potter movie. Source: Y! News ...

Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Sneak Peak Video 2007-05-31 10:00:17 There has been a lot of action going on around the Star Wars saga these days due to its 30th anniversary, but this latest bit is one of the best parts. Lucasfilms has released a 2 minute sneak peek of their upcoming (2009) series for The Clone Wars. Unlike the previous, similarly titled “Clone Wars” series, this series will be CGI produced which avoids the cartoony feel of that earlier series from 2003-2005. The Clone Wars will focus on the events between Episode II, Attack of the Clones, and Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. This will be the first project to come out of Lucasfilm’s new animation department. So far it looks very promising. All the main characters will be there: Yoda, Obi-Wan, Skywalker, Mace Windu, and more. You can watch the two-minute trailer for The Clone Wars at StarWars.com ...

Scarlett Johansson?s Next Role: Mary, Queen of Scots 2007-05-31 08:00:31 Looks like Scarlett Johansson’s, 22, next film role will be to take on Mary, Queen of Scots. The “historical film epic” will be filled with “battle political enemies, scheming allies, and affairs of the heart in her quest to reunite the warring tribes of her native Scotland,” says the film’s producers. The movie is set to be directed by James Curran who also directed “The Painted Veil”. Geez, I watched about 5 minutes of “The Painted Veil” in utter confusion on the plane last week. It was another historical piece and boring as hell. Thankfully the audio went to junk and they pulled it. Sadly, I’m concerned this film could likely just be reheated leftovers from the same mind. I’m sure Johansson won’t have any trouble with a serious role as she’s handled those well so far (”Lost In Translation”, “The Girl With a Pearl Earring”), but I’d like to see her in somet ...

Miss USA, Rachel Smith, Takes a Spill - Video 2007-05-30 15:47:04 In case you missed it the Miss Universe Pageant took place this past Sunday. The winner turned out to be Riyo Mori of Japan, but that didn’t stop our own Miss USA, Rachel Smith, from grabbing the spotlight for at least a little while. During the evening gown portion of the event Smith’s feet slide right out from under her. Loud chants from the audience followed her for the rest of the night as you can hear in the video below. The Wiki page for Miss Universe 2007 has the details on the audience’s reaction: Rachel Smith, Miss USA, was booed during and loudly jeered during her final interview. As she answered her question, there were loud shouts of “Mexico! Mexico!”, which continued until she answered in Spanish. This followed a similar incident during Miss Universe 1993, when that year’s Miss USA, Kenya Moore, was also booed. This may have been due to Miss USA making the top five despite slipping and falling during the evening gown competiti ...

iTunes Plus: Now With Less DRM 2007-05-30 11:27:22 Apple has now launched iTunes Plus, a digital rights management-free (DRM) version of their iTunes service. The price has bumped up a bit to $1.29 per song versus the previous iTunes price of $0.99. A 30% increase in price just to finally own what you’ve already paid for? Sheesh. So what else do you get for your extra $0.30? iTunes Plus offers higher audio quality downloads. This new “Plus” service won’t replace the existing iTunes system, but rather operate in parallel to it. I’m glad they’re offering these now, but the whole rights-management stuff still ticks me off. Could you imagine going into Borders and buying a book only to have them tell you that you can only let X number of friends read it and they’ll need to register first? If I paid for it, it’s mine. Damn you Apple and your superiorly built technology! Funny side note: Apple should have picked a name that wasn’t already registered as a domain. Oh but ...

Family Guy Does Star Wars, Giggity Giggity 2007-05-30 10:00:29 I was excited to read over at CompuCorGP that George Lucas had given his blessing to a full blown hour long Star Wars spoofing episode of Family Guy. If you’ve watched the FG show you’ll undoubtedly seen all the Star Wars references tucked into episodes from time to time. The episode was intended to sync up with the 30th anniversary of Star Wars (along with those Star Wars stamps which I nearly bought today). So what do Peter and the gang do when they lose power? Same thing as the rest of America, they play out the Star Wars saga. CompuCorGP has all the role details: Peter will play the role of Han Solo, while Lois will strut her stuff as Princess Leia. And of course there is nobody as evil as Stewie so he was a complete shoe-in for Darth Vader. Chris will be Luke. No word yet on Meg, but in the true FG tradition she’ll be tossed in there for good sport. Brian will act out Chewbacca and R2-D2 will be handled by Cleveland, with Quagmire as C-3PO. Obi-Wan Ke ...

Mischa Barton Feeling Better, Out of Hospital 2007-05-30 08:22:34 Well you can all stop your candle vigils now and relax. “Actress” Mischa Barton, 21, didn’t end up staying at the hospital very long after overdosing having a bad drug interaction over the weekend. Barton was rushed an LA hospital on Sunday for what was initially rumored to be an overdose. She was then released after a few hours. Now the story is that an antibiotic she was taking mixed badly with her booze. Smart choice Mischa. I hate all those pesky “warning” labels on medicine. Don’t try to tell me I can only take 24 Advil a day! Her publicist, Lesline Sloane, said in a statement, “She is fine now” and has gone to an “overseas” location to work on a new film. I don’t know where people get these crazy ideas that she’s doing drugs. I mean, just look at these pictures of her taking elderly people to the park. Oh wait, nevermind. ...

Knocked Up: Babymaker Game 2007-05-30 08:00:24 In honor of “Knocked Up” coming out this weekend here’s a little baby making game you can play that at the office that won’t get you fired. Upload a couple of pictures and then it’ll combine them for you in true, horrid fashion. Well there are a few more steps than that, but it’s not too bad. Since I didn’t have any personal pictures handy at the moment I decided to pick the closest celebrities to my wife and I. So here’s what you get when you combine Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Yikes! I see why they’re doing more adopting than baby making! Check out the game for yourself: Knocked Up BabyMaker ...

On the Lot: Box Office Results Show Recap - May 29, 2007 2007-05-29 21:05:35 Tonight’s episode of “On the Lot” presents the Box Office Results where we see the crowd dwindle down from 18 directors to just 15. Yesterday’s show delivered all 18 director’s comedy shorts as this week’s theme was aimed at drawing the laughs. The judges on tonight’s panel were: Carrie Fisher, Garry Marshall, and guest judge D.J. Caruso, director of Disturbia. Apparently Brett Ratner has stepped out and away from the show after it came up with disappointing audience results, allegedly. Don’t forget host Adrianna Costa, who I mistook for a complete rookie. Apparently Ms. Costa is a “veteran entertainment news anchor” according to Zap2It. Adrianna’s deliveries were awkward and she repeatedly stumbled over her lines, including her very first line of the show as well as fumbling Carrie Fisher’s last name. I suspect she was selected for her tangible assets as Garry Marshall put it, “we loved your dr ...

Bob Barker Won?t Be Picking the Next Host 2007-05-29 12:00:00 I was surprised to hear that Bob Barker will not be involved in the selection process for the next host to The Price Is Right. Those in power of the process have given Barker no opportunities to join in the process: “I haven’t asked to be involved, and they have not asked for my advice.” Not sure why they wouldn’t at least amuse him with getting some input from him as he must have some clue on how to make that show work. Whoever it ends up being one thing is sure, it won’t be a woman as Barker indicated they weren’t considering a host of the fairer sex. Well that cuts right through my big hopes of Rosie crashing that party now that she’s freed up some extra time. If Bob did have a choice in the matter he says he’d prefer Dr. Phil to take over. Um, yeah. I could just see it, every time someone screws over their contestant neighbor by picking “$1″ Dr. Phil could go into a long tirade on why they should stop trying ...

Eva Mendes Needs a Drink to Get It On 2007-05-29 10:00:32 In an interview at Cannes Eva Mendes revealed that despite her self-confidence to appear nearly naked in revealing bikinis that same confidence disappears when it comes to filming sex scenes. Mendes was speaking to reporters regarding her upcoming film, Own the Night, which required her first on-camera sex scene with co-star Joaquin Phoenix. Oh poor, poor Joaquin. That reminds me of the time I was forced into being the tanning lotion boy for the Hawaiian Tropic bikini tour. So what did it take her to get over the, um, hump of fear? “They were very sweet and they poured me a vodka and orange juice and then I was fine,” she said. “I’m very professional and I don’t usually drink on the job but that morning I had a little vodka and OJ,” she said, laughing. When asked if trying to mentally remove herself from the situation and pretending it was just her character there in bed Eva Mendes replied, “My boob is still my boob.” Indeed ...