Steve Likes to Curse Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 1 1566 3 9662

Articles from Steve Likes to Curse

Giant catfish will devour us all 2007-06-08 14:31:20 Ashley showed me this photo gallery of freakishly large animals the other day at the library. The original is on the Newsweek sub-site at MSNBC.com, but I couldn?t resist posting some of them here and adding a few smartass remarks of my own.This rabbit is of the Giant Gray breed, and weighs about 23 pounds. The guy holding him owns a farm in Germany where he raises many such gargantuan rabbits, some of which he sells to North Korea for meat. Of note: the rabbit does not look happy. Selling rare giant rabbits to Koreans to be eaten . . . What the fuck, Germany? Yep, that?s a giant cockroach all right. The species can grow several inches  larger than this one, and live up to seven years. Holding the giant roach, named Cocky, is its owner, an emotionally disturbed 11-year-old Australian boy. The look on this cat?s face kills me. Doesn?t she look like she?s just pushed herself away from the table after an immensely filling meal and slipped into a blissful delirium? She?s owned by a man who ...

Comic Book Review - Batman: Snow 2007-06-08 11:20:07 Comic Book ReviewBatman: SnowWriters: J.H. Williams, Dan Curtis JohnsonArtists: Seth Fisher (Penciller, Inker), Dave Stewart (Colorist), Phil Balsman (Letterer) The origin of Mr. Freeze has been told and retold more often by more artists and writers than any other Batman villain that I can think of. Bob Kane and Curt Swan introduced him as quintessential goofy Silver Age villain Mr. Zero in 1959; the Adam West Batman television series changed his surname to Freeze in 1966; Paul Dini retold Freeze?s origin twice himself ? first in the ?Heart of Ice? episode of the grossly overrated Batman: The Animated Series, and again in a slightly more sophisticated version in comic book form with the Mr. Freeze one-shot released to coincide with Batman & Robin?s theatrical debut in 1997; that film further reworked Freeze, transforming him from a gentle scientist made a villain by a freak accident into a hulking monosyllabic Austrian with a hard-on for unspeakably lame cold-themed puns. I won?t even ...

Creationism, hell 2007-06-07 09:22:34 So I wrote this article for American Chronicle yesterday about the new Creation Museum just opened in Kentucky. This sort of thing is deeply offensive to me, not because I have any problem with people believing the Bible is literally true, but because I have a problem with people spending $25,000,000 on a museum to convince other people that it?s literally true. ?Cause here?s the thing ? it ain?t true. Literally. God did not make the world in six days. There was no first day before there was a fucking sun, for Christ?s sake. And the universe is a hell of a lot older than 6,000 years. They put the article online yesterday evening sometime, and already this morning I?ve gotten a few emails about it. One of my responses wound up pretty long and sounding like an essay in its own right, so since I am nothing if not stiflingly lazy, I decided to share the guy?s original email and my response with all (seven) of you. Here?s the email I received from a fellow named Azuros, of indeterminate rel ...

This D-Day in History 2007-06-06 14:41:52 Sixty-three years ago on this date was the beginning of the Battle of Normandy, the last great push in World War II of the Allies against the Nazis, and the largest amphibious military operation in the history of the world. Its official title was Operation Overlord, but most of us call it simply ?D-Day.? American, British and Canadian troops crossed the English Channel and stormed German-controlled beaches. Some divisions, especially the Americans at Omaha Beach, suffered heavy casualties. Despite those early losses (most of which occurred in the early hours of the fighting), the Allies established their beachheads, and their attempt to liberate Europe was successful. The troops who landed in Normandy via beach and parachute had liberated Paris by the end of August; less than nine months later, Adolf Hitler was dead and the war in Europe was over. The soldiers who stormed the beaches on D-Day were brave, determined, and fighting in a just and necessary war. Unfortunately, the men and w ... History

Spelling Bee Protestors Should Spend Less Time Protesting and More Time Learning to Spell 2007-06-05 10:59:49 The Scripps National Spelling Bee was held in Washington, D.C. this past week. It showed spectators the usual sights: boys and girls from diverse ethnic backgrounds with cardboard signs draped across their chests standing in front of microphones; chief pronouncer Jacques Bailly carefully articulating obscure words most of us can?t define, let alone spell; and a small crowd of people gathered outside the Grand Hyatt Hotel to protest the entire proceeding. The protestors represented the Simplified Spelling Society, and were there not to protest the bee, they claimed, but to promote their vision of replacing the sometimes counterintuitive and nonsensical current system of English spelling with a simplified phonetic scheme. The group blames the complicated spelling of many English words in large part for illiteracy and the struggles some children face in school. This year, as in years past, the members of the SSS stood outside the spelling bee venue holding picket signs with slogans like ? ...

HCC Comics #3: "A True Artist" 2007-06-04 15:09:27 ...

Believe whatever you want, just for fuck?s sake don?t kill anyone 2007-06-03 11:37:10 Freedom of worship is the most important right of men and women ? not because religion deserves any special status, but because freedom of worship is inseparable from freedom of speech, freedom of expression, all those little tributaries of what we might call freedom of thought. I respect the right of anyone to worship any god or believe in whichever heaven or hell they want to, but that doesn?t mean I respect the beliefs themselves.If you believe the Bible is the word of God, that?s your business. If you want to preach that to people in your church or on the street, that?s your business too, and I think you should have the right to do it. It?s just as much my right to think the Bible is a vulgar and ridiculous book that any God of compassion and integrity would renounce. It?s your right to believe it, not the belief itself, that I respect. It?s only that right that the government is bound to respect and protect, and then only so far as it doesn?t infringe on the rights of someone ...

Wed-by-number 2007-06-02 22:10:12 Ashley and I decided to be lazy this year and skip the Blues Fest. I felt kinda bad about it, since it?s the cultural highlight of the year here in Hagerstown, but there?s always next year. We went to the museum instead, then took a ride to Clear Spring to visit our respective parents. A little after 7 P.M. we showed up at Antietam Recreation on Garris Shop Road between Sharpsburg and Funkstown to attend the wedding of Ash?s cousin Brooks and his girlfriend Sabrina. They already have two kids ? twins ? together, so the wedding was strictly by way of doing ?the right thing.? It was even referred to as such by Brooks?s father during the reception. I?ve been to three weddings in my life. So far it is three too many. The other two were far worse ordeals for me personally because I was in the wedding party ? a groomsman for my old pal Beatty in 2003, and best man for my best friend Jimmy two years ago ? but I?ve never been personally and morally offended more by a wedding ceremony than I wa ...

Someone I have seen on television is aware of my blog . . . 2007-06-01 17:31:52 . . . and his name ain't "Scally."  It's actually Kevin Moriarty, the executive director of the excellent and much-needed Washington County Arts Council.  I didn't notice until literally about thirty seconds ago that the dude has a link to my humble patch of cyberspace, this very den of filth and obscenity right here, on the front page of his Washington County Maryland Arts blog.  Thanks a lot, Kevin, and I am only too happy to reciprocate with a link of my own.Kevin seems like a good dude.  His "About Me" blurb touts the symphony and the Suns, two of my favorite things about Hagerstown, and he obviously has a sense of humor and a high tolerance for the absurd and the profane if he's reading this shit.  Plus, he let someone smash a painting across his skull in the commercial for his Genuine Article podcasts (at www.antpod.com).  You gotta love that. ...

Riffing on Mail Call 2007-06-01 10:56:21 Rick at Bent Corner has an article up today about the silly editing to which his recent letter to Hagerstown?s blind and deaf town crier, the Herald-Mail, was subjected. He wrote in about Jerry Falwell, calling the blessedly deceased an ?idiot? at one point, which someone at the paper decided was too harsh a thing to say about the man who used to masturbate himself to sleep with thoughts of a Christian-led gay holocaust, and changed to ?fool.? Rick seemed a little cheesed-off at this, and I don?t blame him ? secretly editing the words of a reader before publishing his letter is one thing, but doing it to soften a blow against a fuck like Falwell makes no sense at all. So it?s in that ?fuck the Herald-Mail? spirit that I now offer another installment of Riffing on Mail Call, taken from anonymous calls and emails published these past few days. First, someone who actually gets it: "I have been reading the 'You Said It' column. I read the article about the 10-year-old who was raped in Oa ...

"Who Mourns For Xenu?" 2007-05-31 15:56:15 ...

Come see beautiful Hagerstown, MD! 2007-05-30 09:08:29 Memorial Day weekend is over and summer has unofficially begun. When you and your family sit down to plan your vacation this year, consider a visit to beautiful Hagerstown, MD! Hagerstown is the county seat of historic Washington County, situated plum in the middle of the gorgeous Appalachian Mountains, site of the bloodiest single day in American history, the Battle of Antietam! While you?re in the area, take the short drive to Boonsboro and visit exotic Crystal Grottoes Caverns, and see the original Washington Monument, erected in honor of our first president by the citizens of Boonsboro in 1827! Or visit legendary Fort Frederick near Clear Spring, an important location in the French and Indian, Revolutionary, and Civil Wars! But historic sites aren?t the only reason to come visit the Hagerstown area ? oh no! There?s so much more. While you?re in town, you might want to Take in a ballgame at Municipal Stadium, where a crowd of Hagerstownians called future baseball legend Willie Mays ...

Something disturbing on the IMDb 2007-05-29 10:11:14 I was poking around at the Internet Movie Database this morning looking for something ? anything ? on the status of the father/daughter relationship between actor Jon Voight and actress/pedophile Angelina Jolie when I saw something that left me shocked and unsettled. I grabbed it so I could share it with you, my dearest and only friends. Wrap your brains around this one:Was Bob Hope really alive as recently as 2003? Are you fucking kidding me? And he was born in 1903 ? the 20th century?! I know he lived a long time and was known for entertaining every U.S. President since Roosevelt, but I?d always assumed that to mean Teddy Roosevelt. ?Boy, that Panama Canal, lemme tell ya . . . I haven?t seen someone digging a bigger hole for themselves since I tried to explain to my wife how it was her face that made me prefer buttfucking!?Seriously, folks, I won?t say Bob Hope was born all that long ago, but when his mother?s midwife told his father to go boil some water, the poor guy had to start a ...

Credo 2007-05-28 20:20:41 I believe in America. I don?t believe in the President. I don?t believe in the government. I don?t believe in the system. I don?t believe in the flag. I don?t believe in the pledge. I don?t believe in the anthem. I don?t believe in the war or the mission. I don?t believe in the commanders. I don?t believe God?s on our side. I believe in America. ...

Happy 30th Anniversary to George Lucas's Pretended Genius 2007-05-27 13:42:55 Star Wars opened 30 years ago this past Friday. I hadn't yet been born, but I still feel like I grew up with that movie and its sequels. Mom is a Star Wars O.G., so I was well acquainted with the films by the time I entered kindgergarten. Fuck, when I was three years old I slept in Yoda pajamas. A lot of Star Wars geeks bitched about the DVD release last year because the prints of the original pre-Special Edition films were taken from the laserdiscs released in the 1990s rather than a proper state-of-the-art remastering ? which I totally understand, but I never owned those laserdiscs and it was nice to be able to watch Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and even Return of the Jedi as they were before George Lucas decided they were densely packed metaphors for all human existence.Ashley and I watched Forbidden Planet last night, one of the greatest sci-fi adventures ever filmed, a fun outer space tale that shows off its brains and wit without being full of itself. I remember when ...