Steve Likes to Curse Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man. Statistics Unique Visitors: Total Unique Visitors: Outgoing: Total Outgoing: 10 1566 0 10250

Articles from Steve Likes to Curse

Movies That Kick My Ass, No. 8: Casablanca 2007-02-17 17:29:08 Movies That Kick My AssNo. 8:  Casablanca How do I write about Casablanca without repeating what?s already been said a hundred times by far better writers and far more insightful students of film?  This is one of the most revered works of American cinema; it?s been praised so much, for so long, that it?s impossible to review without lapsing into cliché.  It?s one of those few films that is unknowingly referenced by people who have never seen it.  Phrases now a part of our popular culture  ?  ?Here?s looking at you, kid,? ?He?s just like any other man, only more so,? ?Round up the usual suspects,? ?Play it again, Sam,? ?This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship? ? are spoken here for the first time by Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains. What in the hell?s so great about this movie, anyway?  That cast is a good place to start.  Humphrey Bogart was already a star when he made Casablanca, but it was his role as Rick Blaine that made him a legend.  He?d made great films alr ... Movies

An Open Letter to Barack Obama 2007-02-16 20:21:15 An Open Letter to Barack Obama Dear Barack, I?m 26 years old and I never voted for anyone in an election for anything until this past November.  I don?t think politicians can be trusted.  I don?t think they care about my interests.  I don?t believe them when they say they?re looking out for the little guy ? on the odd occasion these days when they even bother to say it.  Politics in America is corrupted and perverted, and power has been pulled from the many into the hands of the privileged few.  I?m not a Republican or a Democrat, my beliefs don?t fit into either category of liberal and conservative; I just believe in what I think is right.  I don?t think I?m all that different from most people in that respect.  Whatever we believe, most of us just want to do what we feel is right, and we think it?d be nice if a few of our leaders wanted the same thing.  I?ve abandoned any belief that politics as it exists today can do anything good for the people.  That?s why I?d like it very much if ...

Remember what I said the other day about the snow? Yeah, I take that shit back. 2007-02-15 17:51:57 Fuck snow and fuck anyone who likes it.  My truck is snowed in in front of Ashley's place, her Dad had to come get her to take her to work this morning, and I had to skip class.  I'll go out in a few hours and try to break it loose again, if I'm feeling masochistic enough.In the meantime, here's what I found to cheer myself up:  a really shitty text adventure game that has been mocked MST3K-style.  Read a brief review and download it here, or play it online at iFiction here.  And don't say I never gave you nothin'. ...

Valentine's Day and Me: a Brief History 2007-02-15 02:35:11 We would have Valentine?s Day parties in elementary school.  The day before we?d make cardboard mailboxes, decorate them with construction paper and glue and hang them over the edge of our desks.  Then we?d all go home and make valentines for everyone in our class, bring them in the next day and deliver them to everyone?s mailbox.  Our teacher would bring in snacks and soda, a few of our mothers might bake cookies or something, and we?d spend the last part of the day eating and exchanging valentines.  For kindergarten, first and second grade, this all sat very well with me. In third grade it struck me how disingenuous the entire enterprise was.  I was expected to give valentines to everyone in my class, whether I liked them or not.  But I was told the holiday was about expressing love for those people I truly cared about.  If I handed out valentines to everyone I knew, then the people I cared about got the same message as the people I didn?t give a shit about and the people I actively ... History

Random thoughts on a snowy day 2007-02-13 18:22:45 ?My attitude toward snow is entirely self-centered.  As a kid in school, a snow day was like an extra Christmas.  School was canceled and I got to spend the day sled-riding and watching TV.  Jason Owens from down the street would come over and the two of us and my little brother would take turns riding my Flexible Flyer down the halls behind my house and dragging it back up again.  Mom would make us hot chocolate and we?d sit in the living room watching Are You Being Served? or The Price is Right, or whatever else was on.  Snow was a godsend. Things flip-flopped when I went to work at Pilot, where there was no such thing as a snow day.  The place is open 24 hours a day, every day, and unless my house got buried in enough snow to make the local news, I was expected in.  Snowfall at Pilot was a total pain in the ass because it came on top of the shit I had to do there anyway.  In addition to cleaning showers and checking restrooms, pulling trash and sweeping up, I had to shovel snow and ...

It's a celebration, bitches! 2007-02-12 21:22:06 To Dr. Carl Baugh, D. James Kennedy, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, James Dobson, John Hagee, and evangelicals and Creationists everywhere, I extend greetings and best wishes for a very happy Darwin Day! ...

The Astounding Spider-Man: "A Simple Case of Mind Over Memory!" 2007-02-11 20:24:32 ...

Movies That Kick My Ass, No. 7: Sergeant York 2007-02-10 22:32:04 Told ya?ll that film class would be a boon for the movie writing . . . Movies That Kick My AssNo. 7:  Sergeant York Here now is a film made to be looked at from all sides.  It is a fable blended into a war picture, a broad and affectionate portrait of country life that gives way to a gritty tale of military heroism, The Guns of August by way of Huckleberry Finn.  It is a biography of a real-life hero of the First World War that saw wide release in the U.S. just over two months before the country?s entry into the Second.  It is the story of a man who matures beyond the need for violence, who is then asked to kill for his flag.  Of the films we?ve watched in class, it is the first instance where the hero does not seem to have sprung fully-developed from his mother?s womb; it is our first opportunity to watch the hero emerge. One of the most interesting aspects of the film is how its tone evolves to mirror the evolution of its lead character.  When we first meet Alvin York (Gary Cooper, w ... Movies

Requiem for Anna Nicole 2007-02-09 22:24:33 That she?s dead comes as no shock.  It was only a matter of time, especially in hindsight.  Anna Nicole Smith (or Vickie Lynn Hogan, as she was born) was from a poor little town in Texas.  Looks and big tits got her in the pages of Playboy, and it was all downhill from there.  She made headlines for marrying an 89 year-old billionaire, then taking his children to court for her share of the fortune after he died.  When her fame as a model and infamy as a gold-digger dissipated, she had a brief revival as a reality TV star.  By then she was overweight and obviously medicated, a joke of a former self that was never all that serious to begin with.  Even after she lost the weight, she was never anything more than a punchline. When she was a little girl, it is said, she told people she wanted to be the next Marilyn Monroe.  With her death (seemingly drug related, as police reportedly found a personal pharmacy in her hotel room), the comparisons to Marilyn will be inevitable.  Some are valid ...

Three years 2007-02-08 14:57:25 Donald L. "Buck" Shives Sr., 74, of 10908 Clinton Ave., Hagerstown, Md., died Sunday, Feb. 8, 2004, at Washington County Hospital.  Born Dec. 29, 1929, in Wilmington, Del., he was the son of the late Clay U. and Mattie Trumpower Shives.  He was a veteran of the Korean conflict, serving in the U.S. Navy.  He was employed with the Western Maryland Railroad/CSX for more than 40 years, retiring in 1991.  He was a member of the American Legion, Joseph C. Herbert Post 222 in Clear Spring, Md., and B.P.O. Elks 378.  He is survived by his wife of 50 years, Nancy Hahne Shives; one son, Donald L. Shives Jr. of Clear Spring, Md.; one sister, Janice Kelley of Clear Spring, Md.; and two grandsons, Steve Shives of Hagerstown, and Danny Shives of Clear Spring, Md.  He was preceded in death by one brother. What the obit doesn?t tell you is that he would give me $5 for every A I brought home on my report cards in elementary school; that he taught me to drive in his hunter green Jeep Cherokee; that he t ...

"The Apathy Syndrome" 2007-02-08 01:16:56 ...

?Satellite's gone up to the skies / Thing like that drive me out of my mind? 2007-02-06 22:37:53 Astronauts are the finest Americans to be found.  They?re brave, they?re in top physical condition, they?re preposterously intelligent, and are generally the loveliest human beings you?d ever want to meet.  If aliens every visit your house bent on vaporizing our planet and they ask you for some redeeming quality of humanity to convince them to spare us, point them toward an astronaut. Just not Lisa Nowak, the U.S. Navy Captain and NASA flight engineer who was arrested in Orland last night and charged with attempted kidnapping, attempted burglary of a vehicle, battery, and attempted first-degree murder. There she is.  Not a picture for the Christmas card, I?m assuming.  This is one of those stories that starts out weird and then ignites its main engines and boosts itself into the fucking exosphere of weird.  Capt. Nowak has been an astronaut for eight years.  Before that she graduated from the Navy?s test pilot school.  She returned from a 13-day mission to the International Space Stati ...

Why I Love Baseball and Hate Football 2007-02-06 03:37:53 Why I Love Baseball and Hate Football Yesterday was the Super Bowl, and as I write this I still have no idea who won or what the score was.  Until about a week ago I didn?t even know which teams were playing, a fact which infused me with a certain amount of pride when I realized it.  I haven?t watched a second of a Super Bowl for almost ten years.  The last time was when Mike Lanning invited me over to his house for a Super Bowl party, and I went because most of my friends were going and paid almost no attention to the game.  I remember John Elway crashing head-first into some big brute of a defensive tackle and my buddy Scotty trying to convince me that it was as athletic as a third baseman?s diving stop or as graceful as a homerun swing. All the Super Bowl means to me is that football season is finally fucking over.  There?s still the Pro Bowl, but only the real diehards give a shit about that.  The NFL doesn?t even care about the Pro Bowl ? they schedule it for after the Super Bowl, ... Baseball

The Shittiest Films Ever Made, No. 4: Mallrats 2007-02-04 21:34:11 Most of my film writing the last few months has focused on movies of either the Kick Ass or Mediocre variety, leaving my original series sadly neglected.  To that I say, ?Fuck!?  It is neglected no more.  The Shittiest Films club has a brand new member, one long overdue. The Shittiest Films Ever MadeNo. 4:  Mallrats Of all the filmmakers favored by guys my age, Kevin Smith by far is the one whose popularity most outstrips his talent.  He?s made two excellent films by my reckoning (Chasing Amy and Dogma), two very good ones (Clerks and Clerks II), two that had their moments but were nothing special (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl), and one, Mallrats, that is a hideous affront to everything joyful and pure God has created.  Its constant torrent of Star Wars, superhero references and sex jokes has won Mallrats a devoted following among Kevin Smith devotees; a following that does not include Kevin Smith, who has publicly apologized for the film and now seems to regard it wi ...

Why does all the music suck ass now? 2007-02-04 03:51:27 We were listening to R.E.M.?s Automatic for the People on the drive from Clear Spring to Sharpsburg tonight, and Ashley remarked on how old she felt.  ?I remember when this album came out, and it must have been somewhere on everyone?s Top Ten that year, you would think.  And then you look at the lists for this past year, and it?s all shit.  It?s like there?s no good music anymore.? You know, I think she?s on to something, too.  Maybe one or two news artists per year will come out with something worth listening too, but for the most part it?s older, more established acts making the good music.  And how depressing is it that, with so many young people making music, so many bands comprised of teenagers and twenty year-olds getting on the radio, in such a tumultuous political and social time as this, that the only people with the balls to make serious political and social statements in their songs are old guard stalwarts Neil Young and Bruce Springsteen?  Modern music isn?t just shrill and ...